seriousfic

Title: Marry The Knight
Fandom: Batman
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 11,329
Characters/Pairings: Bruce/Harley/Ivy, Selina Kyle, Lois Lane, Barbara Gordon
Summary: How do you stop Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy from marrying rich and killing their husbands for the inheritance? Well, if you’re Bruce Wayne, you can always marry them yourself.

Fixing Harley with a stare, Ivy revealed her garter belt, and the small vial enclosed in it. “Something I won’t be giving to the next man to get married.” She held out the vial to Harley. “A custom-made STD by yours truly. The minute that man penetrates you, his days are numbered.”

“But, uhh—I kinda prided myself on always having safe sex.”

Ivy patted her on the head. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll just be a carrier. The virus will have no effect on you, and in twenty-four hours, it’ll pass through your system. You just have to bed our dearly to-be-departed husband before then.”

“Righto!” Harley saluted smartly. “Is it fruit-flavored?”

Ivy smiled. “Harl, you ask the most incisive questions. Find out.”

Title: Einstein's Definition of Insanity
Fandom: Looper
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,208
Characters/Pairings: Sara/Joe, Cid
Notes: A Yuletide 2012 gift for sevenfoxes. Betaed by Jessica and Thursdaynext.
Summary: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

And the old man just stared, shaking his head in denial, in confusion. "You stupid motherfucker, it's all fog," he said, looked back at Sara, sagged his shoulders and wasn't there.

Title: The Bad Night
Fandom: Avengers
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,973
Characters/Pairings: Clint/Natasha
Summary: They trained Clint for missions that went bad. Adaptation, evasion, escape. They just never taught him how to live when innocent people had died. That was more Natasha's specialty.

( She never showed remorse—she acted like it was just like someone's grandmother dying. Sad, but what were you going to do? But he always felt like his knuckles stung after he brought up her past. Maybe it was just him. )

Title: Childish Things
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 628
Characters/Pairings: Clint/Natasha (or not)
Summary: If only she could just kiss him and he'd wake up.

( She couldn't manipulate him, so she didn't try. They were an even match, so they didn't worry about a fight. And they'd seen each other at their worst, so they didn't have to pretend. )

Title: Pride & Professor X
Fandom: X-Men/Jane Austen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,861
Characters/Pairings: Charles/Erik
Summary: When a wealthy new neighbor moves in near their estate, will one of Charles and Erik's sons finally find a wife, solving their financial difficulties? Or will Professor X be a jerk?

( It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a mutant power must be in want of a husband. )

Title: Quorra Sees A Penis
Fandom: Tron
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,885
Characters/Pairings: Sam/Quorra
Summary: When Sam realizes Quorra's never seen the ocean, he decides to take her on a boat trip. He didn't count on Quorra wearing a bikini.

( 'Why do people drink beer?' 'It makes ordinary women look like you.' )

Speaking of Tron porn (I wasn't, but pretend I was), I reviewed the Tron porno, Pron. Your move, reader.

So tumblr user thecapedraccoon wrote an AU of Scott and Barda as foster kids, and when I saw the pitch, I couldn't help writing a story go with it. Her post is here, but I cover a lot of the details in the story. Enjoy.

( Read more... )

Ah, what better way to celebrate America's independence than by writing a story about a British sci-fi show?

FREEDOM!

Title: The Celebrity Exemption
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,031
Characters/Pairings: Amy/Rory, the Doctor, Vastra/Jenny
Summary: For two thousand years, the Last Centurion stood watch over the Pandorica. Nothing could deter him from his self-imposed duty. Nothing could tempt him away from his lost love. And then Charmed premiered.

( Doctor, pay close attention to the words coming out of my mouth. Rory shagged Alyssa Milano. )

Title: Gratuitous Sex Is Getting In The Way Of Our Relationship
Fandom: Fringe
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,452
Characters/Pairings: Lincoln/Altlivia, Altstrid
Spoilers: 3x18 Bloodline
Previous: In place of friends and relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun
Summary: Lincoln really wants to be Olivia's boyfriend. Olivia really wants him to shut up and take off his pants.

( There were two likely outcomes to Olivia figuring out that he was in love with her, Lincoln had always thought. One was the always-popular 'oh, really, but I've been in love with you! We've wasted so much time! Sex time!' The other, and more likely, outcome was that she would turn it into a running joke. Charlie had worms, Lincoln was in love with her, and Astrid was addicted to tumblr. )

Title: Only a sin if you enjoy it
Fandom: X-Men
Rating: R
Word Count: 5,790
Characters/Pairings: Emma Frost, Scott Summers, Jean Grey
Author's note: This fic is set in an AU of the Dark Phoenix Saga
Summary: Emma and Scott's first date.

( “It’s simple,” Emma said, hands folded in front of her like she was the picture of rationality, “if you want Jean back, I want something in return. Scott, to be exact.” )