seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Lesbian Until Curse
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,506
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Regina, David Nolan, Mary-Margaret Blanchard
Summary: Mary-Margaret thinks Emma’s been acting awfully strange since she got her old jacket out of the closet… out of the closet… wait…

Mary-Margaret pouted menacingly. “I’ve noticed Emma acting strangely. Maybe you’ve just been too busy coming up with new insults to see it.”

“No, they just come to me.” Another sip and Regina let out a crisp exhale of satisfaction. “Acting strangely how?”
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: The Wicked Stepmother
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 116,353
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Regina, Ruby Lucas, Mary-Margaret Blanchard
Summary: When the Evil Queen catches baby Emma along with Snow White, she decides on a new revenge. In Storybrooke, Snow White will be allowed to raise her daughter... but on her eighteenth birthday, Regina will come for her. Emma might just enjoy that.

"If I may," Regina began, stepping forward. With a blush, Emma remembered she'd been there the whole time. "It so happens that my estate's old gardener retired last spring and I'm ashamed to say that the vines and such have gotten a little out of hand. I could really use someone with a strong back to come by every week and help out. It's not hard work, just… sweaty." Regina looked in Emma's eyes at that word. Emma wanted suddenly to look away, but she didn't. "Perhaps Emma could work in my garden for the rest of the year. That'd give me time to find a replacement and wouldn't cut into her schedule too much."

"That'd work," Emma agreed. "I'm really good with plants, I mean, I am awesome. I grew one of those jar-potatoes for my sixth grade science project, it kicked all the other jar-potatoes's asses."

"Lan-guage," Mary-Margaret reminded her sotto voce. She looked from Regina to Emma, noticing a nervous little smile on Emma's face. The girl was actually rocking on her heels a little bit for her savior. "Mayor Mills, thank you for the generous offer, but my daughter really needs discipline."

"Oh, I'm sure she does. But sometimes a soft touch gets the best results. My house is near the high school. Let's say we have the bus drop her off after school to spend an hour working the lawn. Afterward, I can even help her with her homework, as well as those all-important college applications. I certainly have more time to offer her than you do. And once I'm completely satisfied with her efforts, she can go spend time with her friends. You'd be surprised how important a strong social life can be in finding a career."
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Save Me From This Rescue
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,738
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Regina
Summary: Emma saved her from Greg Mendell. Regina guesses, technically, that this means Emma is her hero.

"How can you be this bad at rescuing people? Your family business is rescuing people. It should be simple genetics."
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Sex, Lies, and Camera Phones
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: R (dubcon)
Word Count: 2,788
Characters/Pairings: Regina/Belle
Summary: After finding a clue to the Rumpelstiltskin Dagger's location, Regina's left alone with an amnesiac Belle. This, she can turn to her advantage...

On the bed, Belle yawned sweetly. Regina looked down at her. A not-unattractive woman. And, at the moment, as vulnerable and trusting as Regina once had been. Before Rumpelstiltskin got through with her.

Belle. Rumpelstiltskin's second most precious possession.
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Missing

Emma and Regina don't have sex in it, so I can't think of a comm to post it to.
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Are Those Fangs Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,468
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Regina
Summary: After Emma comes back from the Enchanted Forest, she's disappointed to find out that that bat that bit her was more like a... vampire. Now a vampire herself, she goes to see Regina. If Regina can't cure her, then she could do with a little less blood. It's the least she can do after cursing everyone for 28 years. Regina has no problem with that arrangement. So long as she's well-compensated...

"It burns when I'm in direct sunlight," Emma said, and now Regina noticed she was unusually pale, even by the standards of Snow White's clan. "You better not have put a curse on me, Regina, I swear—"
seriousfic: (Default)
I suppose a lot of people think all of writing is plotting. It’s an easy mistake to make. Something like Lost will be popular because of how the plotting structures and perpetuates a mystery, and then be unpopular because of how poorly plotted the finale is. OuaT, I think, is reasonably well-plotted. For instance, our antagonists both have clear goals and engaging motives—Cora is an abusive mother and wants her daughter to fail and be hurt so she can control her. She’s an irredeemable version of Regina circa season one. While Hook is the personification of Rumpelstilskin’s sins, someone who wants and deserves revenge for all the lives Gold has taken (when everyone else in the cast has made peace/tolerated this).

But I’d like to take a moment to talk about technical writing, which is simply conveying the plotting to the audience in an entertaining manner. It goes very unappreciated. A lot of Lost knockoffs thought they could one-up Lost by having plots that were completely planned out, but the technical writing floundered. And I honestly think OuaT has some of the more embarrassing technical writing I’ve ever seen.

Spoilers )
seriousfic: (Default)
Title: The Wicked Stepmother
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,589
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Regina
Summary: When the Evil Queen catches baby Emma along with Snow White, she decides on a new revenge. In Storybrooke, Snow White will be allowed to raise her daughter... but on her eighteenth birthday, Regina will come for her. Emma might just enjoy that.

My house is near the high school. Let's say we have the bus drop her off after school to spend an hour working the lawn. Afterward, I can even help her with her homework, as well as those all-important college applications. I certainly have more time to offer her than you do. And once I'm completely satisfied with her efforts, she can go spend time with her friends.

Teevee

Apr. 26th, 2012 11:43 am
seriousfic: (Default)
Some TV reviews? Some TV reviews.

Fringe

Okay, so I'm prepping a piece on Fringe for Fempop, taking it to task for how after a couple seasons of eschewing the traditional "Big Bad" story arc for a much more compelling "war between the universes," they've retreated to the most uninteresting bits of the show over the story they had been telling. Basically, when they could've been telling a story about bitter enemies forced to work together to stop a disaster, they're back in the "We have to stop Dr. Doom from destroying the world!" well. I'm holding back on that piece until after the season's over, just in case they turn it all around and reveal there's an actual point to all this (like with Henry... remember? How we spent several episodes on Altlivia's pregnancy and then the main consequence of that was Olivia's baby being named after her nonexistent baby?).

Point is, you can see my amusement at how the show's apparent bold new direction is to take a set of genuinely alien characters, who are unknowable and fantastical, and turn them into evil overlords. Who like to pick up hookers and get plastered. And, you know, Le Resistance.

Once Upon A Time

Okay, at this point, Rumpel is the Big Bad and Regina is the Atoner. That's the game plan, right? Because it doesn't make much sense for the much bigger evil to turn around and redeem himself while a comparative small-timer is everyone's worst nightmare. I'm having unpleasant reminders of Smallville and Lionel "Abusive Father" Luthor's redemption arc, where his continued emotional abuse of his son ended up being heroic.

So, the plot development of Rumpel having manipulated Regina into the curse makes perfect sense in the context of her having a "My God, what have I done?" moment and trying to make amends. Thus, her turning to the Light Side is also about her seizing agency, rather than being weakened.

Over/under on Rumpel's son being Henry's father, just to drag Rumpel into the family dynamic?
seriousfic: (Default)
It’s tempting to say the writing and make this a tumblr post (seriously, they have a character who's been living two separates lives and has to choose sum up his problems with "it's like I've been living two separate lives!"). But I actually have two distinct problems that go straight to the core concept of the show.

1. The CGI is shit. And I realize that they have a budget and a time table, but seriously, is there a reason they’ve decided it’s better to suggest that Regina lives in a giant chasm full of CGI instead of building a reasonably sized room out of stone? And even (gasp!) dressing it up so it can serve as other stone rooms in other episodes? I’m not sure how the budget works, but you’d think a primetime show on a major network would be able to afford a better set than, say, the dungeon in the Denna episode of Legend of the Seeker. Which was, you know, a room. That people stood in.

1a. What makes this even more frustrating is that they switch between BIG! CGI! CASTLES! And practical sets which look believable. I’m surprised no one thought to use camera tricks and editing and such to make the fairy tale world all magical or whatever, so at least it’s consistent and consistently distinct from Storybrooke. Even Smallville managed to portray the town in warm earth tones, while Metropolis was blue and sharp.

2. The dialogue. No, no I’m not talking about “Who’s to say which life is real?” or whatever. I mean that both the fairy tale dialogue and the real world dialogue is the same post-Buffy snarkfest. You’d think, for a soap opera in a world where Downton Abbey is the mother of all soap operas, the dialogue in fairy tale land would be stilted, or formal, or otherwise play up the fantasy nature of the world. Instead, we get scenes where Snow White is in hiding and asks what things are like “out in the World.” You tell me: why is a fairy tale character using slang from the Vietnam War? As it is now, when fairy tale characters talk like fairy tales characters about love being a disease and needing to cure it, it comes off as awkward. It’s not that I want everyone to talk like a Thor comic book, but… something like the Thor movie? There, all Thor and Loki’s high-faluting matched the epic quality of the story. The epic in Once Upon A Time (arranged marriages! Forbidden romances! Magical shit!) should get that treatment, while the comparatively mundane stuff in the real world (custody battles! Frowned-upon romances! Lesbianism!) is elevated by witty dialogue and pop culture references.

2a. Is there any reason every character must have two distinct names? I can understand someone with a unique name like Snow White being called Mary Margaret in the real world, but is there a reason “Ashlyn” has to be the counterpart of “Kathryn”? That’s like mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent secretly being amazing superhero… John Kim!

ETA: I have to hand it to OUAT, they really nailed the life of the writer. Putting on your best leather jacket, strapping your typewriter to your motorcycle, and riding into a town to get inspiration from the attractive women who find you oh-so mysterious and intriguing… That’s totally my process too.
seriousfic: (Default)
I will make this alternate character interpretation of Regina Mills official unofficial fanon.

She just needs a hug! )
seriousfic: (Default)
I know that's an odd thought to have on Once Upon A Time, when most of fandom is in the "oh noes!" and "that bitch!" camp, I'm more in mourning for Regina's once-nuanced characterization. See, when it turned out that Regina legitimately cared for Henry, and didn't even know his true identity, much less adopt him as any kind of 'fuck you' to the Whites, I thought the show was going in the direction of Regina getting an anti-hero redemption arc, while Mr. Gold was revealed as the true Big Bad, and all the people who commented on OUAT being anti-adoption or perpetuating misogynistic stereotypes would end up eating their delicious, delicious words. After all, prior to this episode, Regina's attacks were strangely non-lethal. She put Snow into an enchanted sleep, then she cast the Storybrooke spell. She spared Maleifient. Meanwhile, Mr. Gold's going around blowing up fairy godmothers.

Spoilers for that episode where Regina murdered her sex slave behind the cut. )

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