seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Lesbian Until Curse
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,506
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Regina, David Nolan, Mary-Margaret Blanchard
Summary: Mary-Margaret thinks Emma’s been acting awfully strange since she got her old jacket out of the closet… out of the closet… wait…

Mary-Margaret pouted menacingly. “I’ve noticed Emma acting strangely. Maybe you’ve just been too busy coming up with new insults to see it.”

“No, they just come to me.” Another sip and Regina let out a crisp exhale of satisfaction. “Acting strangely how?”
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: The Wicked Stepmother
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 116,353
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Regina, Ruby Lucas, Mary-Margaret Blanchard
Summary: When the Evil Queen catches baby Emma along with Snow White, she decides on a new revenge. In Storybrooke, Snow White will be allowed to raise her daughter... but on her eighteenth birthday, Regina will come for her. Emma might just enjoy that.

"If I may," Regina began, stepping forward. With a blush, Emma remembered she'd been there the whole time. "It so happens that my estate's old gardener retired last spring and I'm ashamed to say that the vines and such have gotten a little out of hand. I could really use someone with a strong back to come by every week and help out. It's not hard work, just… sweaty." Regina looked in Emma's eyes at that word. Emma wanted suddenly to look away, but she didn't. "Perhaps Emma could work in my garden for the rest of the year. That'd give me time to find a replacement and wouldn't cut into her schedule too much."

"That'd work," Emma agreed. "I'm really good with plants, I mean, I am awesome. I grew one of those jar-potatoes for my sixth grade science project, it kicked all the other jar-potatoes's asses."

"Lan-guage," Mary-Margaret reminded her sotto voce. She looked from Regina to Emma, noticing a nervous little smile on Emma's face. The girl was actually rocking on her heels a little bit for her savior. "Mayor Mills, thank you for the generous offer, but my daughter really needs discipline."

"Oh, I'm sure she does. But sometimes a soft touch gets the best results. My house is near the high school. Let's say we have the bus drop her off after school to spend an hour working the lawn. Afterward, I can even help her with her homework, as well as those all-important college applications. I certainly have more time to offer her than you do. And once I'm completely satisfied with her efforts, she can go spend time with her friends. You'd be surprised how important a strong social life can be in finding a career."
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
“Have you ever… you know… with a girl?”

“Are you asking me if I’ve ever eaten a woman out?”

“No, no-no-no-no!” Kara shook her head fast enough to send her hair whipping around her. “I mean—any kind of romantic or, or sexual activity would count?”

Karen pretended to think about it. “I believe the proper response would be ‘why do you want to know?’”

“Well, uh…” Kara wheedled her hands together. “Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“I probably won’t care, which is like the same thing.”

“Okay. I was wrestling with Wonder Girl at Titan Tower—you know, Cassie?”

“I probably don’t know, because there are like three Cassies in your little club, but go on.”

“Anyway, we were just doing some friendly sparring and she sorta rubbed up against me and it was…” Kara paused, as if Karen might like to interject, but her short-haired doppelganger was enjoying watching her squirm. “Intense,” Kara finished nonchalantly.

“She gave you a wettie?” Karen asked.

seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Love And Other Things That Happen When You Don’t Hate Someone
Fandom: True Blood
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,811
Characters/Pairings: Pam/Tara, Tara/Naomi
Summary: When her girlfriend Naomi becomes addicted to V, Tara will do anything to get her clean. Even fulfill Pam’s every whim. And Pam has a lot of whims…

“Girls, there’s no need to squabble. There’s plenty of me to go around.”
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: How Much Is That Kenzi In The Window?
Fandom: Lost Girl
Rating: R
Word Count: 4,065
Characters/Pairings: Bo/Kenzi, Tamsin
Summary: Important life lesson: Before going undercover as your best friend’s pet, make sure you don’t actually want to have kinky petplay sex with her.

“Your human!” the Daoine Sidhe said. “Look at her! Clearly, she’s uncomfortable and in need of attention! Pet her, for Zeus’s sake!”
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Beautiful Wickedness
Fandom: Oz The Great And Powerful
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,979
Characters/Pairings: Evanora/Theodora
Summary: Ever since Theodora's transformation, she's been wicked. Perhaps even more wicked than Evanora. And only the most wicked can sit on the throne...

"I will thank you," Theodora continued, in her loud, stringent, domineering voice, "by allowing you the privilege of serving me!"
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Save Me From This Rescue
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,738
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Regina
Summary: Emma saved her from Greg Mendell. Regina guesses, technically, that this means Emma is her hero.

"How can you be this bad at rescuing people? Your family business is rescuing people. It should be simple genetics."
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Sex, Lies, and Camera Phones
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: R (dubcon)
Word Count: 2,788
Characters/Pairings: Regina/Belle
Summary: After finding a clue to the Rumpelstiltskin Dagger's location, Regina's left alone with an amnesiac Belle. This, she can turn to her advantage...

On the bed, Belle yawned sweetly. Regina looked down at her. A not-unattractive woman. And, at the moment, as vulnerable and trusting as Regina once had been. Before Rumpelstiltskin got through with her.

Belle. Rumpelstiltskin's second most precious possession.
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Sisters of the Night
Fandom: Dracula
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,246
Characters/Pairings: Lucy/Mina
Summary: Lucy and Mina had always looked alike. They'd grown up next to each other, and reflected each other to such an extent that it was like one was mimicking the other, though who precisely was the mirror had been lost in girlhood. Pale white skin and night-black hair; not blonde, not golden, not fair. They'd been called ravens by the other children, and they cawed to each other before they went to bed at night. Through open windows across the lawn, they cawed each other that they were still of a feather.

And then, Dracula.
seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Are Those Fangs Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,468
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Regina
Summary: After Emma comes back from the Enchanted Forest, she's disappointed to find out that that bat that bit her was more like a... vampire. Now a vampire herself, she goes to see Regina. If Regina can't cure her, then she could do with a little less blood. It's the least she can do after cursing everyone for 28 years. Regina has no problem with that arrangement. So long as she's well-compensated...

"It burns when I'm in direct sunlight," Emma said, and now Regina noticed she was unusually pale, even by the standards of Snow White's clan. "You better not have put a curse on me, Regina, I swear—"


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