seriousfic: (Secret of the Kells)
Title: Avengers: Earth’s Muppetest Heroes
Fandom: The Avengers/The Muppets
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 6,352
Characters/Pairings: The Muppets, the Avengers
Summary: When the Muppets base their next movie on the Avengers’ adventures, Earth’s mightiest heroes find themselves taking on Earth’s feltiest puppets for a ride-along, leading to hijinx, shenanigans, and the worst episode of The Dating Game since Rodney James Alcala.

“I’m sure you won’t. Now, if you could all sign the standard Marvel Movie contract. It’s a lot like your old Rich and Famous contract, but without the ‘Rich’ part. You’ll also need to make cameos in some other movies. Guardians of the Galaxy, Captain America 2, the all-female remake of Free Willy, and of course, Saw 9: Saw ’N Sniff.”
seriousfic: (Default)
Title: The Bad Night
Fandom: Avengers
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,973
Characters/Pairings: Clint/Natasha
Summary: They trained Clint for missions that went bad. Adaptation, evasion, escape. They just never taught him how to live when innocent people had died. That was more Natasha's specialty.

She never showed remorse—she acted like it was just like someone's grandmother dying. Sad, but what were you going to do? But he always felt like his knuckles stung after he brought up her past. Maybe it was just him. )
seriousfic: (Default)
Title: Names Are For Lovers, Aliases Are For Us
Fandom: Avengers
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,482
Characters/Pairings: Clint/Natasha
Summary: When they first met, she was Natalie and he was Hector. Then Hawkeye and the Black Widow got to know each other.

I work for bad men, but not that bad. )
seriousfic: (Default)
Title: You're just another entry in the ledger, but you get the most ink
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,804
Characters/Pairings: Clint/Natasha
Summary: Clint doesn’t know when Natasha started watching him sleep. But it's nice to know he won't get up and kill anyone in the middle of the night.

Natasha didn't touch him. She didn't take his hand in a clandestine moment or clap his shoulder or say anything, really. They weren't that kind of people. By standing in the room she was there for him. There was no need to repeat herself. )
seriousfic: (Default)
Loki is basically just a teenager who has read Catcher In The Rye and/or Ayn Rand for the first time.

Spoilers. )


May. 4th, 2012 01:39 pm
seriousfic: (Default)
The short, non-spoilery version. Avengers is exactly what you were hoping for. Which you know. The only real worry I heard was that it would lack in spectacle. No. I just keeps going bigger and bigger. The big showdown that most superhero movies would end with? That happens thirty minutes in. Then they keep going. It's like all the Green Lantern movie went here and was added to the typical superhero movie budget by clandestine Whedon ninjas. So no lack of spectacle. It's like Transformers 3, only with a plot, characters, suspense, tension, surprise, and Scarlett Johannson is much hotter than Rosie Whatsherface (even if the camera never does literally buttfuck her, Michael Bay).

That said, let's go to the Harry Knowles portion of the review. I was born a poor black child So I skipped breakfast this morning Last night I worked the Avengers midnight premiere. We got an entire Avengers cosplay in there. Yes, even Hawkeye. Even Black Widow, although she was played by a guy. On the one hand, it's good that you're secured enough in your masculinity to dress as someone named The Black Widow. On the other hand, it's good to have enough female friends that one of them is willing to go see a movie with you dressed as a cartoon character.

Best part, though. A fangirl came in, dressed as the Black Widow, and she and Black Widbro passed in the hallway. The words "Well, I'm not changing," may have been uttered. EP-I do hate to use this word-IC.

So I get some sleep, get up, come in to the first 2D showing this morning (old-fashioned, just like Cap would like it!), and the ticket-taker says to me "We tried calling you. An usher didn't show you." Okay... sorry? I would've liked the hours, but you're the ones who didn't schedule me all weekend. I'm sorry I'm more reliable than other people you hire, but I did work until after midnight yesterday and also my uniform is all sweaty from moving stock, so you gotta give me some warning here.

Viewing experience--good-sized audience, hot crowd, I was sitting behind a family with some small, misbehaving children, but I'm gonna give credit where credit's due, after about twenty minutes of on-and-off loudness, the parents rolled up and took those kids out. THANK YOU. I'm not going to get all snooty and say Avengers isn't a kids' movie, because during the preshow we had all kinds of ads for Avengers toys and whatnot, but hey, sometimes kids can sit through a movie and sometimes they can't, and when they can't, the theater offers refunds. So, anonymous Texas couple, thank you very much for disciplining your children and saving my viewing experience. I hope you get to see, and enjoy, The Avengers on another occasion, when your kids are feeling more up to it.

See, parents, that's all I ask? A little consideration. You thought your kids could behave, they couldn't, you resolved the situation. You are good in my book. In fact, I appreciate you taking your kids to quality entertainment like The Avengers, even if they were unable to be a good audience at that time.

Some mild spoilers, or things I liked. )

ETA: Can this please run over Battleship? Those trailers are all money shots. The "journey" they show is just Brooklyn Decker T&A and Liam Neeson bullshitting, then 'SPLOSIONS. Avengers actually exercises some restraint and devotes most of its trailers to (gasp) character and dialogue, just showing you the tip of the iceberg. Yes, I even love Avengers for its marketing campaign. It even deserves to stomp Hunger Games. I'm sorry, but get that weak shakycam shit outta here.
seriousfic: (Default)
Title: A Boy And His Dog
Fandom: Captain America: The First Avenger
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,441
Summary: When he was thirteen, Bucky's dog had puppies. She was a purebred and Bucky's mom could get good prices for them, but Bucky insisted Steve get one.

Mrs. Barnes took care of Anthony when Steve went to boot camp. She didn't love the big galoot, always dashing through the tiny apartment, tongue wagging whenever she mentioned food. )
seriousfic: (Default)
Title: They'll give you a statue when you're done
Fandom: Avengers movieverse
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,052
Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark
Summary: If it weren't for Yinsen, Tony Stark wouldn't have been Iron Man. If it weren't for Erskine, Steve Rogers wouldn't have been Captain America.

I know what it's like. You take a man who's so wise and with all that wisdom, he ends up making you his life's work. It's a lot to live up to. I'm glad you're not letting it go. )
seriousfic: (Default)

Note: Movie!Gail is on the right because Phillips isn't going to kiss him

Title: Three to tango
Author: [ profile] seriousfic
Fandom: Captain America: The First Avenger
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4,646
Notes: Written for a prompt at the Cap Kink Meme. Minor spoilers for the Captain America movie.
Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers/Gail Richards/Peggy Carter
Summary: Peggy decides that before Steve takes her dancing, he might need some lessons.

Both of—you, the two of you… You're going to slap me when I tell you what I think you mean by that. )
seriousfic: (Spider-Man Night Fever)
Title: Tea time (The Middle of the Story Remix)
Fandom: X-Men: First Class/Avengers
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,609
Characters/Pairings: Wanda Maximoff, Jean Grey, Ororo Munroe, and Lorna Dane
Author’s notes: Written for Remix Redux. [ profile] likeadeuce betaed this. Based on Tea Time by [ profile] isilweth.
Summary: Before, she was a hero, then a monster. Soon, she'll be in Wundagore, an ordinary person. For now, she's adrift.

Despite it being the dead of night, despite Avengers Mansion being condemned and deserted, despite herself, Wanda couldn't meditate. She opened her eyes. She could just barely remember the Avengers Mansion as it had been, in those years when they were all so young and invincible. )


seriousfic: (Default)

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