seriousfic: (Default)
Can I just say that while I know Christopher Nolan and feminism have had their differences over the years*, I find it a little admirable how, despite the many internet speculations over The New Adventures of Batman, him and the Dark Knight team's only musing is on a solo Catwoman movie. With that in mind, and knowing that DC can't make a new Batman movie until they have their JLA ducks in order if they ever want their own Avengers... why not? Call it The Dark Knight: Catwoman Begins or Gotham City: Catwoman or Christopher Nolan Presents The Catwoman (or "Catwoman: Not starring Halle Berry and with no Sharon Stone and having nothing to do with mystical Egyptian cat gods" if you want to be really clear). Keep Nolan on as producer and find a director who can handle the more sassy-stylish-seductive-fun aspects of Catwoman (John "Leverage" Rogers springs to mind, though by all means, suggest a female director).

Set it between The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises, in which canon explicitly has Batman out fishing. And though I know the temptation is there, no prequelitis. I don't want any "and here's how Catwoman and Bane first met!" or "John Daggett was Catwoman's father all along. We never said HE WASN'T, did we?" Just have Selina and Holly and maybe, if the plot demands it, characters like Commissioner Gordon or Lucius Fox who have lives far outside Batman.

Then you just make it a combo origin story/heist film, both things that Nolan's really good at. Selina is a dominatrix** who is inspired by Batman to YOLO, becomes a badass thief, then gets recruited into a crew of thieves by the Riddler, that one Batman villain that everyone wants to see Nolanized. But please, no "he's like the Zodiac killer with riddles!" bull. The Joker already gave "supervillain serial killer" all the work it needs. Have him be the mastermind of the robbery. We see him, Selina, and some other Leverage types (if you wish, you could throw in some minor Bat-villains like Magpie, Harley Quinn, or Scarecrow into the crew, but that kind of fanservice is by no means necessary) (Firefly the demolitions expert!) planning the robbery. We cross-cut between the legwork and Selina putting together her Catwoman costume/skills.

They pull off the heist, the Riddler double-crosses them, and the rest of the movie is Selina out for revenge. Have her track the Riddler to Rome. Have Black Mask be the big boss (there you go, Leo, now everyone in Inception is also in Batman). There's years of Catwoman stories to cherry-pick from. The one caveat is no city-destroying plot, since that would of necessity bring Batman out of retirement (and be a little OTT for a superhero heist film anyway. Something like stealing US military secrets to give to a foreign power would be perfectly high stakes, and give Nolan something political to chew on).

Oh, and the Riddler. Just hire Michael Emerson. Have him at first play the Riddler as the wimpy little geek a lot of the fandom takes him for, then when he betrays Selina he gets an uber-cool, every-detail-accounted-for exit like something out of a Mission: Impossible movie. From then on, he's a criminal mastermind with a snappy green suit and an epic-level superiority complex. Tell me Nolan couldn't find something to do with "he sees his marks as an audience and he taunts them with riddles he knows they're too dumb to figure out." You could even work some feminism in there, with him thinking of Selina as nothing but a dumb pickpocket (albeit not because she's a woman, but because she's not him) and her proving him wrong.

The thing writes itself. We know from TDKR that Selina has a "dark past" that's so bad, she'll do anything to get clear of it. Let's find out what's so fucked up about her. And there's also the "where does she get those wonderful toys?" aspect, especially since Selina has never had Bruce Wayne's resources.

*(although I don't get Inception-hate. That's not a case of fridging a woman for cheap shock value, it's a movie where the entire plot hinges on Leonardo DiCaprio's wife being dead from frame one. It's like complaining about Gerald Butler being dead in P.S. I Love You)

**I know the sex worker origin is controversial, but I think the other side of the argument is valid: "Why can't a woman have been a sex worker and become a superhero?" Although yes, I do see the squicky aspects of every heroine having dubiously consensual sex in her backstory, and with Frank Miller especially, though I don't know if people are reacting to Selina's portrayal in Year One specifically or Miller's larger work. If, say, Scott Snyder wrote those scenes (I don't recall them as being that sexualized or exploitative, especially when compared to Judd Winick's stuff), would there be so much controversy?

Anyway, I feel like the Nolanverse is grim and adult enough to support the heavy nature of such an origin story, while Catwoman's inevitable appearance in the reboot can be more kid-friendly. If any filmmaker can resist the "she has sex for cash DUR HURR HURR" aspects of that origin and instead make it into something thematic and deep and meaningful, it'd be Nolan and his merry band.
seriousfic: (Default)
Title: Good People of Gotham
Fandom: The Dark Knight Rises
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,584
Characters: Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake
Warnings: Sexual violence
Summary: A city decides to fight.

No more waiting. 1650 AM, tonight at 11. Pass the word along. )
seriousfic: (Default)
Title: The Moment's Worth It
Author: [ profile] seriousfic
Recipient: [ profile] mazily
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,982
Notes: This story takes place during the "missing year" depicted in 52, but departs from canon because canon killed Big Barda, c'mon! Betaed by [ profile] axolotl_lan.
Characters/Pairings: Renee/Barbara, Helena Bertinelli, Vic Sage
Summary: Renee's partner is dead. Her girlfriend's left her. Maybe a new job can turn things around.

You work for me. On call 24/7. You're in AA, starting now. Training too. You keep working for me until the woman you're replacing is back. You'll be paid well and compensated for expenses, but you'll be shot at. A lot. You can call me Oracle, by the way. )
seriousfic: (www.Oracle.AAAAAAANGST)
Title: Dangerous (the What Have You Done remix)
Fandom: Batman Nolanverse
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,425
Characters/Pairings: Tim, Batman
Author’s notes: Written for Tyleet as part of that remix thing. The original is here. This story was betaed by Kernezelda and Gran Sigma, who I thank profoundly. It also owes something of a debt to D. Benway's In The Blood, which I had best acknowledge here instead of in the comments.
Summary: The son of Batman and the Joker has been psychologically tested since childhood. It doesn't work.

Tim cried like a much younger boy and no matter how his mother soothed him, he couldn't stop the wracking sobs from spinning his tiny body on the floor. She grew fearful, as if it were her responsibility to deal with precisely this and now it was here and she could do nothing. )
seriousfic: (www.Oracle.AAAAAAANGST)
Title: Beautiful
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,986
Characters/Pairings: Barbara/Zatanna, Dinah, Helena, Zinda
Author's notes: Written for [ profile] gulf_aid_now and based on Brave and the Bold 33, scans here. This fic is made possible by a generous grant from [ profile] tokeloshe and readers like you.
Summary: A long time ago, Zatanna knew a horrible thing was going to happen to Barbara Gordon and did something about it. Was it enough?

Zee, there are plenty of days where I would've thrown something at you for not uprooting heaven and earth to stop it from happening. But some things you can't stop. You just make peace with them and move on. )
seriousfic: (Default)
The suspect: Crackfic in which Dick is a man-whore.

The charge: Not funny enough.

The judgment: 900 words and the proof that polygamy should stay in Big Love. )

And if that’s what I don’t finish, what I post must be pure gold!
seriousfic: (Femslash)
[ profile] jennyo asked for Babs/Dinah reunion fic for her birthday, so enjoy and sorry about the lack of spooning. I guess it just feels wrong now if I write spooning and Bridget Regan isn't involved.

Title: A Tale Of Two Cities
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,554
Characters/Pairings: Babs/Dinah, references to Dinah/Ollie and Helena/Zinda
Summary: What do you do if your heart’s in one city but you live in another? Besides commute?

Barbara didn’t have a team anymore. Sometimes she called someone in for a favor, but they didn’t stay long. Didn’t stay at all. They didn’t help her move or recommend books to her. They didn’t make connections. Dinah had never asked about it, but she’d seen Barbara at Bruce’s funeral. She understood. )
seriousfic: (Femslash)
Title: Dress Crossing
Fandom: Batman
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,896
Characters/Pairings: Harley/Ivy
Summary: Written for the DC Kink Meme. Harley likes to dress up as Batgirl. Ivy likes to defeat and ravish Batgirl. It’s nice when couples do things together.

No! You vile villain! I am pure and chaste, like Bella Swan! You’ll have to ravish me! )
seriousfic: (Chibi Batman)
Title: How To Succeed As A Superhero Without Making Your Own Costume
Fandom: Batman
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,604
Author’s Notes: If DC is going to write charming scenes about Tim accidentally gut-punching Steph and not apologizing because he’s so very grim, and Cass spontaneously declaring “Don’t wanna!” and making Steph Batgirl… then crackfic happens.
Characters/Pairings: Tim/Steph, Ollie, Hal, Dinah, Delirium,
Summary: What, you thought Batgirl #1 was the first time some superhero threw away their costume and told Stephanie Brown to take over for them?

Hey, Tiiiim! Timmy! Tim-Tim! It’s Steph. Pick up! Your answering machine message sounds weird and gruff. Do you have a sore throat? HEY TIM! Pick up or I’m giving Ms. Martian your phone number. *And* telling her you got a new kitten. )
seriousfic: (www.Oracle.AAAAAAANGST)
So, James Robinson wrote a scene between Hal Jordan and Oliver Queen that was surprising skeevy and tone-deaf. Here's my brain making a saving roll against stupidity.

Title: So, Last Night…
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,116
Characters/Pairings: Helena/Zinda, references to Helena/Zinda/Hal
Summary: Hal Jordan has canonically had a threesome with Zinda and Helena. Did you really think that had anything to do with Hal Jordan?

“But do you love just the fellas, that’s what I’m asking? Because you were all over me last night. You went down on me. You put your fingers in me. You kissed me, Zinda.” )


Jun. 22nd, 2009 01:56 pm
seriousfic: (Toph - LOLWUT?)
[ profile] solitarysputnik asked for Tim/Misfit in a meme. Huzzah:

The girl’s costume was stupid. Tim didn’t like to think those things, but she had a jean skirt and a T-shirt and what looked like a blanket tied around her neck. You could get away with that, or underwear on the outside, if you were invincible, but this was the worst thing to happen to superhero hero fashion since Dick grew a mullet.

“Hey, Misty.”

Misfit flailed in mid-air and stopped shouting whatever she’d been shouting (“Park Guinness”?) to get tangled up in a clothesline.

“Did you just call me Misty?” she asked through a pair of heart-covered boxers.

“Misfit seemed a little mean.”

“Yeah, well Robin seems a little stupid!”

“I’m not the one with the onesie on my sneaker.”

Misfit shook it off. “You’re just jealous that I’m Oracle’s personal apprentice and you have to spend all your time in a smelly cave with Batman!”

“It doesn’t smell!”

Misfit pulled herself onto a fire escape. Unsurprisingly, when she looked up, Robin was there

“I was going to tell you about Poison Ivy’s kissing fever before I got sidetracked by you being a crazy lady, but maybe I’ll go do something more important, like darn my ninja socks.”

“Kissing fever? What kissing—“ Misfit licked her lips. “My, Robin, I just noticed how… petite you are. You’re like a travel-sized version of Nightwing who Miss Gordon won’t shoot me for kissing!”

“Kissing? Oh no, the virus!”

But it was too late.

Somewhere, Ivy laughed diabolically. The kissing fever may not have been the most villainous plan, but it had gotten Harley to agree to watching Bend It Like Beckham with her, which made it all worthwhile.
seriousfic: (Chibi Batman)
Title: Up All Night
Fandom: Batman
Rating: R
Word Count: 801
Author’s Note: Written for porn battle, prompt: slumber party
Characters/Pairings: Cass/Steph
Summary: It’s a sleepover, but Steph can’t get to sleep.

What Batman doesn’t know… won’t hurt. Can we make out now? )
seriousfic: (Chibi Batman)
Title: Rise Of The Machines
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 544
Characters/Pairings: Babs/Dinah
Author's notes: Written for [ profile] shananagin's response to a meme.
Summary: Dinah is feeling horny. Barbara is on a different continent. Luckily, Oracle has a solution.

“Oh, okay. What’s that part that looks like a dildo?” “A dildo.” “Ahh. So I strap myself into that and…” “I fuck you. Over the Internet.” )


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