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Rewatching Doctor Who to work on my Donna voice, I've noticed some odd nerd elitism. It's a bit obvious when you think about it--the Doctor, at least as interpreted by RTD, is a male fantasy figure. He's young and attractive (say what you will about Tennant and Eccleston, but in-universe they were treated as desirable), he's socially awkward (but that's part of his charm), he's rude (but to people who are assholes, so everyone loves him for it), he doesn't know how to dress himself (but still ends up wearing awesome stuff like leather jackets and trenchcoats--really, you gotta give Moffett points for making the Doctor look like an idiot again), he's smart (in fact, so brilliant that all the jocks just have to gape in awe as he shows them how to solve their problems), he has just enough to brood about without a legitimate reason to be sad (oh, my homeworld of assholes is gone! Oh, my latest moon-eyed twentysomething is gone!), and of course he has a bevy of attractive young women who want him without him ever having to engage with them or enter a real sort of relationship.

Of course, you can argue the companions and their status as female fantasy figures all night, but they are primed as fangirl identification points. The Doctor shows up, whisks you off, have fun! Martha Jones is even a Harry Potter nerd. Donna Noble is the first person who really wasn't meant for fandom to empathize with. She's like a check-list of anti-nerd. Celebrity gossip, reality TV, un-clever, pushy, etc. The scene where her evil fiance emotionally eviscerates her is shockingly dark for a family show. And only after that do you get (to the show's credit) acknowledgment that Donna's learned and grown through her encounter with the Doctor, and later her return in season four.

She's a character in a nerd show who says that even if you don't have stereotypically nerdy interests or qualities, you can still be a good person. Until she gets lobotomized, OH WELL.

Watching the season four premiere, it actually occurs to me that this elitism is pretty damn textual. As Donna becomes a protagonist, we learn about her awful home life and bitchy mother, which makes her sympathetic, if not a true-blue nerd. But we're also presented with a female reporter who is successful (invited to Adipose Industries' press conference) and skilled (able to see through their bullshit and investigate, putting her on par with the Doctor and Donna). And she ends up as a running gag about getting captured and finally as proof that some people (who are not the Doctor and Donna) "just can't take it."

Was that present in the original series? Because it seems to me that "I only take the best" came about in the RTD era, like before it was "Anyone can learn magic if they just work hard enough" and afterward it was "You have to be born with magic." Which are two very different fantasies, and one is a lot more egalitarian than the other. It kind of makes me wonder--even in the case of companions who weren't young quasi-nerds, how many were put-upon anti-authoritarian types? Playing to a kind of "you'll all be sorry one day" nerd thought process. Or is that reading too much into things?
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Title: Whatever Happened To Donna Noble?
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,204
Characters/Pairings: Donna Noble, The Doctor
Summary: Journey's End AU. The Doctor's left behind many people. It's who he comes back to that's more important.

So you'll find someone else and bring her back here too and we'll see each other. And I'll pretend I don't envy her and she'll pretend she doesn’t worry about becoming me. )
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Ah, what better way to celebrate America's independence than by writing a story about a British sci-fi show?


Title: The Celebrity Exemption
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,031
Characters/Pairings: Amy/Rory, the Doctor, Vastra/Jenny
Summary: For two thousand years, the Last Centurion stood watch over the Pandorica. Nothing could deter him from his self-imposed duty. Nothing could tempt him away from his lost love. And then Charmed premiered.

Doctor, pay close attention to the words coming out of my mouth. Rory shagged Alyssa Milano. )
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Title: Mind if I Silurian?
Fandom: Doctor Who/Sherlock Holmes '09
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,650
Characters/Pairings: Jenny/Vastra, Irene Adler
Previous: How I Met Your Silurian
Summary: Being the intrusion of Ms. Irene Adler upon our heroines' domestic tranquility. The skank.

Jealous? Me? Of your girlfriend the slattern? )
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I know the biggest goof people have with the last Doctor Who finale is (spoiler alert. Ignore me if you haven't seen it yet. You should be good at that by now) how, exactly, the Doctor managed the paradox of being rescued from a certain situation so he could go back in time and rescue himself from that certain situation. But there are much bigger questions!

Okay, so in the latest season of Doctor Who, various shenanigans lead to all the stars but Earth's sun blowing up. Cut forward to present day (this happened in Roman times), where stars are now a myth. There's a throwaway line about Richard Dawkins being a crackpot who believes there used to be stars. And... I really don't get that.

I guess maybe it's some sort of cheeky "oh ho ho, Dawkins is right about the stars just like he's right about God" thing, but in that case... believing that something exists just because ancient people believed it to be so despite a lack of modern evidence... isn't that kind of the exact opposite of what Dawkins advocates? So I guess it's supposed to be ironic? Maybe it works better if you're an atheist. Wouldn't it be funnier if it were a line about "that crackpot Stephen Hawkings"? Then everyone would get it, because he's really a genius who knows what's what, and we wouldn't have to ask these thorny questions of truth vs. scientific process.

In fact, how did this "mythological stars" view come about in the first place? If every single culture on the planet has historical accounts of there being stars, and then every single culture on the planet has historical accounts of the stars disappearing, isn't it a safer assumption that there used to be stars than that every single person before a certain date decided to make up a whacky story about lights in the sky?

Okay, maybe all the stars blew up at once, but then it took time for their light to stop reaching Earth, so the process was gradual, and over the course of generations the stars dwindled in number. You'd still think people would notice. Just for instance, Genesis 22:17 says "Blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies." You'd think someone would say "wait, there are three stars but, like, a billion grains of sand on the seashore. What gives, God!?" But I'm sure people don't take it that seriously. It's just THE BIBLE, after all.

Then again, this is the universe where people apparently forget about a hundred-foot-tall robot rampaging through Victorian London, so maybe folks are just stupid in the DWverse.

This is a world where she's considered some sort of hideous beast, to the point where someone has to be under orders from an alien spider to go out with her. Told you I wouldn't get tired of using this photo.

But then what about the aliens? Were they all wiped out when the stars went? There'd have to be survivors, right? Wouldn't they go to the one remaining star in the universe, if not for answers, then just because they like photosynthesis? Okay, maybe when they went there, they were nice, and decided to let humanity have the Earth and set up their own places on the other planets in the solar system. But what about all the evil aliens? When the stars went out, they were right there, having just imprisoned the Doctor to prevent him from destroying the universe (unless we're going to say the show compressed events a bit and didn't show them leaving before the TARDIS exploded, although they did). When they saw the universe exploded anyway, wouldn't they let the Doctor out? I mean, that's kind of his thing.

Holy shit. That explains it. The monsters let the Doctor out, he said "scram, I'll handle this," but things were still shit, so he set up this massive chain of events to free himself under an entirely different set of circumstances and save not only himself, but all of space and time, plus his companion and her plastic boyfriend (not like that, pervert!).

Pictured: The Doctor in training.
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Title: Do-Over
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,727
Characters/Pairings: Eleven/Amy, mention of Amy/Rory
Author’s notes: Spoilers for 5x09 – Cold Blood.
Summary: If you love someone and they forget you, it's only polite to remind them. Just so long as you're remembering it right yourself.

Alright, I'm going to tell you the truth. Because I trust you. So let me start at the beginning. I left Gallifrey because… wait, no, too far back. )
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The suspect: The obligatory Journey’s End fix-it fic.

The charge: I just wrote a fic where Donna’s head exploded a lot. Six of one…

The judgment: I still kinda like the idea of 10.5 becoming fully human so that Donna can become a full Time Lord. But oh well…

Out of Time. )
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If I could sum up the RTD years in one bold conceptual image, it would be something like this. Russell T. Davies gets a lifetime pass for Doctor Who, a deserved one even. He then proceeds to hammer the fuck out of that pass. Now there’s a lot you could pick apart in his writing. The deus ex machinas, the insistence on man-pain, the episode where a man face-fucked a slab of concrete. But if there’s one thing that stands above everything else and truly damages the entertainment value of the franchise, it’s the preoccupation with Rose Tyler.

Now, not Rose Tyler herself. Nothing wrong with the character, she’s there to take or leave as you will. But then Doctor/Rose became this epic romance. To quote Jack Nicholson, I'd be the luckiest man alive if that did it for me. But while this was fine while she was on the show, when she left, RTD kept a seat reserved for her marked ‘female lead.’ So everything else on the show was given short shrift. It was okay for Rose to be the Best Companion Ever when she was conceived and on the screen, but when her time was over, they should’ve made a different companion and moved on, or even tried to top themselves.

But no, Rose remained the ‘definitive companion’ in the production’s eyes, and every other character suffered for it. Since Rose was The Girl The Doctor Loved, Martha had to be The Girl Who Loves The Doctor (But That He Has No Feelings For Whatsoever) and then Donna had to be The Girl Who Is Just Good Friends With The Doctor. Again, if you shipped Doctor/Rose, it must’ve been nice to see the competition hobbled like that. But if you cared about the other characters, as the show asked you to do when it wasn’t reminding you how they Weren’t Rose, then it felt a bit priggish.

But how does this relate to The End of Time? Well, let’s look back at Journey’s End. I know it hurts, but please. Rose is given a great deal of build-up. She’s given cameos all throughout the season, she’s not part of the initial parade of guest stars so that there can be even more build-up to her reappearance, then the Doctor and Rose practically run across a meadow to reunite. Then an entire plotline is devoted to giving Rose her own Doctor.

Then there’s Donna. )
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Title: Time Changes Nothing
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,411
Characters/Pairings: Donna, the Doctor, hints of Doctor/Donna
Summary: End of Time AU. Remembering means Donna will die, as surely as the Doctor. But she remembers…

She woke up to the Doctor’s face, smoother than she’d ever seen it, like he’d gone backwards while she’d gone forward. )
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By which I mean the Doctor Who special, so spoilers. )
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You know, there's a good stupid and a bad stupid. For instance, good stupid: GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Bad stupid: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.

Spoiler cut? Yes, some of you should appreciate that. )
seriousfic: (www.Oracle.AAAAAAANGST)
Title: Five Times Donna Noble Cried
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Donna Noble
Word Count: 437
Timeline: Takes place after the season four finale, Journey's End. SPOILERS.
Summary: Donna cries sometimes, like she lost something. But that’s rubbish.

Wilf asked her for the screwdriver and she picked it up and then she stopped. It was as if the screwdriver was missing something. Some vital component that would make it work. She stared at the screwdriver a moment, trying to figure out what was missing, then she started crying. )
seriousfic: (Masterful)
Title: Through A Scanners Homage Darkly
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: the Doctor, Donna (implied Doctor/Donna)
Word Count: 1,157
Timeline: Takes place shortly after 4x13, Journey’s End. SPOILERS.
Summary: Donna has a splitting headache.

Who elected you the Lord of Time, anyway? )
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Doctor Who is a humanistic show, so the premise could almost be described as “ordinary people are sufficient to any challenge.” However, the Doctor is the Hero, so it frequently becomes “ordinary people are fallen, pathetic creatures who need a supernatural being to inspire/redeem them”. It’s a juxtaposition that keeps getting noted and it’s hard not to see that here, where the basic premise of the show gets overridden. Not to be confused with Twilight, where an immortal being breaks his centuries-long celibacy to enter into a romantic relationship with a teenage... OH SHI-! )


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