The Flash

So, Barry Allen and Isis West aren't married in the DCnU. Not that I care, because it is physically impossible to care about Barry Allen unless you are Geoff Johns (I'm convinced he was hit on the head very hard while reading a Silver Age comic as a child), but the explanation in these cases is always "Well, it opens up new storytelling opportunities!"

Bullshit. 99% of superheroes aren't married. What stories can you tell with a single Barry Allen that you can't tell with them? I know there are a lot of TV shows about sexy single twentysomethings looking for love, but there are a lot of other shows with characters who are married, with kids even. Could you imagine if a network said "Yeah, we want all our shows to get rid of the kids, get rid of the marriages, just be about single people"? Would you watch The Simpsons with just Homer and Marge dating other people?

And why would you squander audience goodwill if you've got two characters and a relationship readers care about? Does DC have any idea how hard it is to get people to care about characters, and how this makes it that much harder to care the next time Barry Allen is in a relationship (since that will, naturally, go nowhere, the Revolving Door Love Life being one of the major problems in comics these days. "Babs, I love you!" "I love you too, Dick! I could not love you any more! Let's get married!" "No, let's not. I'm gonna go bang a stripper now.")

Also, at what point with a rookie, single Barry Allen are you no longer writing Barry Allen anymore? When he came back the first time around, he was supposed to be the King of Flashes (which should be Jay Garrick, but whatever), the guy who's done it all and seen it all. Now he's a noob. So what, if anything, makes him special? Oh, I forgot, he wears a bowtie.

Now the poor Doctor will have to stop saying bowties are cool or be a blatant liar.

Sons of Breaking Bad

I can honestly say this is a better origin for Lex Luthor than Smallville ever came up with.

When the best TITLE you can come up with is "Shark Night," you know the creativity is flowing.

Today in the review column: Shark Night 3D. Does it do justice to a tale of sexy teenagers' bacchanalian partying being interrupted by ferocious sharks and sadistic murderers, or is it PG-13? Don't ask the MPAA, click the link!

Dear TV,

If you insist on having a million police procedurals, here's what I want. Olivia Williams as a British ex-pat detective, a complete libertine, possibly a heiress, who finds herself stranded in New York due to being placed on the no-fly list and having a seething hatred for public transportation.

Gina Carano is the brash but straight-edge homicide detective who ends up working with her on a case. Together, they fight crime, when Williams isn't high on some substance not quite known to science or Carano isn't just hauling off and punching a perp's lights in.

We can call it "Punch/Drunk."