I'm the Juggernaut… bitch?

The US of A is on fire at the moment. Literally, parts of Texas are smoldering. I donated some emergency supplies. They asked for, among other things, children's coloring books, so I'm in the supermarket and my thought process is as follows: Transformers 3, fuck no. Cars 2, fuck off. Animorphs... now we're fucking talking. I got some Roald Dahl, some Thor, some Captain America... I think I've done a better job parenting than some parents. Looking at you, guys who brought their six-month-old to see The Expendables. Yeah, I have enough trouble understanding Sylvester Stallone without a baby crying over him.

BTW: The Avengers movie books basically cover the first act of their movies. Captain America just covers Steve becoming a super soldier, without mentioning the specific war, Nazis, or the time period (I like to think he wants to join the Army to fight in Vietnam). And it ends right before a Nazi agent kills kindly old Dr. Erskine. The Thor book, on the other hand, ends with Thor getting banished and Odin saying "Well, hope it all works out!" I was really hoping the last page would be Loki 'fessing up ("It's not Thor's fault, dad, it's mine.") and everyone hugging. You know, for kids.

The heat is literally so bad down here that I shaved my head. A friend told me I look like the Juggernaut. See post title. Also, I have a canker sore the size of a peso in my mouth. I know, I saw a peso. So now I basically can't move one side of my mouth. I'm like Popeye.

Now, I do try not to be a jerk with women and always remember there's a different between a girl being nice/polite and a girl being into you. That's just statistics. Unless you're James Bond, you're going to meet more girls being friendly than girls who want the sex.

Bond: Hello.

Woman: I kill people with my thighs!

Bond: You bitch!

Woman: But I also need your body!

Bond: Very good then.

But if you get your head shaved and a girl co-worker comes up and touches your little peach-fuzz hair and says it feels good, like puppy hair… now you're just fucking with me.

Post may or may not contain sexual or non-sexual content that does or doesn't trigger people or cats

There's this person in Batman fandom who so irritates me. This person has warnings on their fics, but the thing is, they're not good warnings, they're just these weird ass-covering warnings that go "sexual content some readers may find disturbing." Literally every fic she writes has that "warning."

Okay. What does that mean? Incest? Rape? Child abuse? Again, I'm not the one to ask about how this works, but isn't it possible that something that doesn't trigger someone may trigger someone else, therefore you should be pretty specific? Maybe someone loves them some consensual incestfic, but would really be freaked out to open a story and find someone getting raped in it. Isn't the whole point of the warning system that the writer can't know what will and won't trigger the reader, therefore she lets the reader know ahead of time so they can make the decision themselves?

And the latest warning goes like this. "Sexual content which does and doesn't dovetail with the content some readers may find to be disturbing." I feel like I need to raid a Nazi submarine and steal their Enigma machine to find out what that means.

Review!

What if they made a Conan The Barbarian movie where Conan's people are killed, so he has to go on an epic journey to avenge himself against an evil warlord, falling in love on the way and acquiring a band of fellow adventurers? Wait, they already did that? In the 80s? But what if it was in 3D?