Lezbos Part 4

Alright, here we are going into the second act. Hopefully we've established the fuck out of these characters by now. Who would you like to see play Alicia and Billie? I'm still leaning toward Megan Fox as Alicia, maybe Anne Hathaway as Billie, because I would love to a 40-Year-Old Virgin route with the advertising. You know, blank background, picture of America's sweethearts looking all pretty and respectable, then a big title font "LEZBOS." More realistically, some combination of Amber Heard and Erica Durance, perhaps? Although then you couldn't show that movie in the Middle East, since Amber Heard and Erica Durance playing canon lesbians could be classified as a WMD.

And of course, Shia LeBeouf as Zane. Dude. Dude.

( Megan Fox. Anna Paquin. Angelina Jolie. They all had these hot lesbian affairs in the past, then they got married and lived happily ever after! Why can't we do that? )

Speaking of casting, I already said Jaime Murray would make a great Erica, but since it'd be cruel and unusual punishment for Jaime Murray to play a lesbian mentor without the accent of sexuality, now I'm thinking maybe Milla Jovovich? At the end, she could show up at the wedding with Ali Larter.

Oh noes, subtext! Yeah, this plot was inspired a little by the sheer number of female celebrities who give interviews about having bisexual pasts. Not that I'm calling anyone a liar, I just wanted to poke fun at the faddishness of it and the guys who actually fall for "hot lesbian action." Dudes, that just means there's twice as many people they'd rather date than you. I was actually thinking Olivia Wilde for a cameo, but that's too plausible to be funny, whereas IRL Daria being a Maxim model is just silly enough.

Any thoughts on cliches for the lesbian training sequence? I've already got them listening to Tegan & Sara.

DC universe: Keystone City

Going back to my idea for a Fourth World-centric DC universe, the Flash. I don't know anyone who doesn't like the Flash's Rogues. The idea of a loose confederation of villains with a sense of honor and rivalry with the hero makes the Flash stand out. My idea is simple, take the Rogues and make them co-protagonists--the clearest parallel would be the Sons of Anarchy, but with the Flash as Unser. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, shame on you.)

The set-up: Barry Allen has just died (and stayed dead!). Wally, still just a sidekick, is suddenly bumped up into the big chair. Young, inexperienced, and a bit of a dick, he makes a devil's deal with the Rogues. They run the organized crime in Keystone City -- "victimless" stuff like prostitution, gambling, and drugs (as long as they don't sell to kids) -- with each of the Rogues running a different crime. Captain Cold can run prostitution, a comic book Al Swearington. In exchange, they keep things on an even keel and help the Flash keep out the real 'bad guys' like the Mafia and LexCorp.

It'd be a little like a supervillain Mob movie, but with fan-favorites like the Trickster and the Pied Piper as the viewpoint characters instead of Ray Liotta and Al Pacino. Note that this is a reconstruction; the Flash's actions aren't treated as smart or pragmatic, but foolish and near-sighted, and it's only be recommitting himself to fighting evil that he can become a true hero.

See, Mirror Master runs drugs, and getting high on his own supply leads to some questionable choices. When Scott Free comes into town, sticking his head in the sand a la Wally by "just" being a costumed performer, he stumbles across some heavy-duty shit and, noir style, sets out to find what's going on. When he gets the full story, the Rogues try to silence him, but the Flash steps in and it's High Noon time. Wally's bringing in the Mirror Master, and anyone who tries to protect him (here, Piper and Trickster pull a quick fade). The Rogues are brought to justice, with a little help from a learned-a-valuable-lesson Scott, and we end on a restored Keystone City and a revitalized Flash.