seriousfic

Title: Beautiful
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,986
Characters/Pairings: Barbara/Zatanna, Dinah, Helena, Zinda
Author's notes: Written for gulf_aid_now and based on Brave and the Bold 33, scans here. This fic is made possible by a generous grant from tokeloshe and readers like you.
Summary: A long time ago, Zatanna knew a horrible thing was going to happen to Barbara Gordon and did something about it. Was it enough?

( Zee, there are plenty of days where I would've thrown something at you for not uprooting heaven and earth to stop it from happening. But some things you can't stop. You just make peace with them and move on. )

So, James Robinson wrote a scene between Hal Jordan and Oliver Queen that was surprising skeevy and tone-deaf. Here's my brain making a saving roll against stupidity.

Title: So, Last Night…
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,116
Characters/Pairings: Helena/Zinda, references to Helena/Zinda/Hal
Summary: Hal Jordan has canonically had a threesome with Zinda and Helena. Did you really think that had anything to do with Hal Jordan?

( “But do you love just the fellas, that’s what I’m asking? Because you were all over me last night. You went down on me. You put your fingers in me. You kissed me, Zinda.” )

Okay, admittedly this is never going to happen because WB doesn't make movies about women anymore or something, but they should.

Right now, the Batverse is red-hot, but Christopher Nolan is busy not making Batman 3 and the WB is miraculously too smart to go ahead without him. I know, right? So why not make a Birds of Prey movie? You could fit in the characters that are too outre for the actually-very-limited Nolanverse, you could get all that spin-off and merchandising going, and you could correct the glaring deficiency in female roles in the Batman movieverse.

After all, we all know TDK is a "Year One" and we know eventually, Batman's gonna have Robin and Batgirl running around. Just dye Gary Oldman's hair white and you don't have to include anyone else (well, given Nolan a producer's credit).

So we start off with Barbara having a flashback to her recent shooting (and all you need for this is a body double and a voiceover of Ledger!Joker laughing). Then, via montage, show her becoming Oracle, gathering her team together, and introduce her personal problems and her strained relationship with Dick Grayson (who would serve as a link to Batman).

( Unfortunately, it would still NEVER HAPPEN. )

Would it ever happen? Not in a million years. Fun to think about? Definitely. And I have THOUGHTS on who should play Nightwing. And the great thing about a BOP franchise is that aside from Barbara, you can have anyone leave the team and then shine the spotlight on another character. So if Alexa Davalos gets pregnant, that's cool, just bring in Onyx or whoever and you're good to go.

Title: Green Light
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,636
Author’s notes: Written for fadeoutin’s birthday. She said she wanted Helena and Zinda having sex on a motorcycle…
Characters/Pairings: Helena/Zinda, references to Dick/Babs.
Summary: Helena takes Zinda on a joy ride. Zinda enjoys being ridden.

( It’s a Batcycle and Barbara’s showing it off because she’s proud of her past and at peace with losing it and, for some reason, Helena really wants to wrap her legs around it. )

Title: Look Closer
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,625
Characters/Pairings: Babs/Dinah, Big Barda, Zinda Blake, Helena Bertinelli, mention of Scott/Barda
Summary: At first glance, Barbara and Dinah are just good friends. If you don’t look closer…

( “I suppose it’s nice to know someone has my back. Not that I need it, just… nice. Like, knowing you can come pick me up if things get hot.” “Wouldn’t say it’s exactly the same thing.” )