Were you perhaps wondering why Starfire is a vagina-shaped goldfish now?

[seriousfic]

So I wrote an article on DC's reboot of Starfire. I think the entire thing is a good read, providing context and making fun of Harley Quinn's new costume, but if you're in a rush, here's the moneyshot.

The sexual fantasy of Starfire, the idea that a beautiful woman can indulge in casual sex, in polygamous sex, in lesbian sex, isn’t enough. After all, that fantasy still requires some sort of intrigue on your part. She has to find something interesting in you. You have to have some tiny vestige of a personality, some miniscule potential to please her.

Scott Lobdell gives his audience, his industry, possibly his entire gender the finger and says "Oh no, you motherfuckers. That's not your fantasy. Your fantasy is a woman that will literally have sex with you just for existing. No woman with any standards, no matter how low, no matter how forgiving, could possibly be attracted to you, so here's your new sex object—a brain-damaged goldfish with a rack. And you're such a scared little boy, so afraid of commitment in even your own pathetic fantasies, that you'll run away from a 'clinger' even if she's as gorgeous, charming, and supportive as the woman Starfire used to be. You can't bear even that slight chance that she'll make you move out of your parents' basement, get a real job, and make something of yourself. So I'll cater to that too! Not only doesn't she want a relationship, she won't even remember you! That's what you want in the end, isn't it? A vagina-shaped goldfish! Look upon your lust, ye nerdy, and despair."

Comments

[pyroskittle.livejournal.com]

By the by, lmao the whole read. I sincerely approve of your commentaries. Have a cookie and tell me what else is wrong with the DC universe by next week! *salute!*

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

This is getting reposted.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Hit me.

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

On my Facebook and Google Plus, but I'll see about reblogging as well.

[rdfox.livejournal.com]

PLEASE repost it to s_d. I would myself, but I don't dare, given that I got an official mod warning for using the word "slut." (Because obviously, that's far more loaded and insulting a word than "frat-boy fantasy" is.)

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

You seem to forget that I lost my s_d/ns_d privileges a while back. ;)

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Change all instances of "slut" to "woman of sexuality." See what happens.

[rdfox.livejournal.com]

I would, but "Kory is not a woman of sexuality!" is demonstrably false.

Honestly, given that I asked how people would react if the genders were swapped (i.e., say, Hal Jordan being unable to tell humans apart because of something with the ring, and banging both Huntress and Lady Blackhawk), and they tried to claim that they wouldn't be screaming about it being horribly misogynistic and such... I don't really care any more. I've pointed out the hypocrisy, I'm not gonna keep fighting the battle.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

No, dude, it'll be hilarious. Just bowdlerize it to "Kory isn't a goldfish." Few people would argue that Kory isn't a goldfish now and fewer still would say she didn't use to be a goldfish.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

Her hair-trail is cooler now.

Really, that's about the only good thing I can say.

What I find incredible is that there are people defending this. No, it's not that she's "eye candy", it's that she's basically an original character someone made up on deviantART because of their fetish, except they have to put a good portion of their commissions of her on their personal website because dA doesn't allow porn.

I wish I was making that kind of thing up.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

I had it pegged as some sort of anthropomorphification of Dory from Finding Nemo. Only sluttier.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

But Dory was blue!

[fengi.livejournal.com]

Wow, that is a simply awesome line. Applause.

Seriously though, it would be nice if the real Scott Lobdell had half the awareness of your Satire!Lobdell did. The mag would still be tripe, but it would be tripe with a thesis.

[rdfox.livejournal.com]

There's people defending it on scans_daily, too, claiming that it's just a hamhanded attempt at showing her as "a sex-positive female who retains her sexual agency."

No, people. It's showing her as a walking Penthouse Forum letter, a porn movie character from a classic title like "Young, Dumb, and Full of Cum 2."

And given that I'm now hearing rumblings that Lobdell never wanted to use Starfire, and she was forced on him by editorial, so this gutting of her character is his form of revenge...

[mcity.livejournal.com]

>defending it on scans_daily

Okay, I seem to be on Bizarro world. Can someone help me get back to regular Earth?

[rdfox.livejournal.com]

Well, being somewhat apologetic for it, anyway, and claiming that the big reason it's skeevy and wrong is "because the art is all fanservicey and cheesecaky and male-gazy" instead of the fundamental flaws in the writing. Nobody is saying it's good, but they're trying to be apologists for it, probably because they all want Roy and Jason for themselves, or at least to watch them screw each other, and this is like "an indirect fuck," to mangle a Japanese term...

(So what's the over/under on someone finding this and getting me banned for things I didn't even say on the comm?)

[mcity.livejournal.com]

They've done that before? I seem to recall Srs being banned for his first strike in a three-strike system, but just outright being banned for something on another comm?

[fengi.livejournal.com]

You hit on something I felt with the end of the article. Not only in terms of gender, but it seems like every marginally decent moment in the New DC is balanced out by egregious pandering crap in multiple others. It's like they said, "Oh, you want to keep Batwoman as a somewhat human lesbian character? Then we introduce Catwoman by her boobs first, then face. Animal Man keeps his family? Then Secret Six becomes Saw meets Victoria's Secret. Some artists managed to turn out well drawn first issues despite clearly rushed deadlines? Rob Liefeld, ladies and gentlemen!"

[angel-gidget.livejournal.com]

I bow before your wit and the fact that this perspective on that issue makes me feel better about the whole thing, even if I'm too sleepy to quite reason out why.

[jlbarnett.livejournal.com]

I'm just hoping it's something done to her. I read your post and saw what you said about having a brainwashed character in the first issue, but there's been several "badass" type characters(and that seems to be what she's supposed to be in the fight scenes I've seen, just tearing through their opponents) that have started out mostly blank slates.