Were you perhaps wondering why Starfire is a vagina-shaped goldfish now?

[seriousfic]

So I wrote an article on DC's reboot of Starfire. I think the entire thing is a good read, providing context and making fun of Harley Quinn's new costume, but if you're in a rush, here's the moneyshot.

The sexual fantasy of Starfire, the idea that a beautiful woman can indulge in casual sex, in polygamous sex, in lesbian sex, isn’t enough. After all, that fantasy still requires some sort of intrigue on your part. She has to find something interesting in you. You have to have some tiny vestige of a personality, some miniscule potential to please her.

Scott Lobdell gives his audience, his industry, possibly his entire gender the finger and says "Oh no, you motherfuckers. That's not your fantasy. Your fantasy is a woman that will literally have sex with you just for existing. No woman with any standards, no matter how low, no matter how forgiving, could possibly be attracted to you, so here's your new sex object—a brain-damaged goldfish with a rack. And you're such a scared little boy, so afraid of commitment in even your own pathetic fantasies, that you'll run away from a 'clinger' even if she's as gorgeous, charming, and supportive as the woman Starfire used to be. You can't bear even that slight chance that she'll make you move out of your parents' basement, get a real job, and make something of yourself. So I'll cater to that too! Not only doesn't she want a relationship, she won't even remember you! That's what you want in the end, isn't it? A vagina-shaped goldfish! Look upon your lust, ye nerdy, and despair."