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So I gave Cars 2 a chance. And it sucked. And I'm not saying that as some elitist blue-state Larry-the-Cable-Guy-hater (although fuck that guy). I live in Texas and I hate those damn dirty hippies. But this movie is fucking awful.

Just... on a basic storytelling level, the message is terrible. The idea is that Mater (who is actually the hero in this movie, which is like, I don't know, Chewbecca being the hero of a Star Wars movie. Yeah, he's 'funny' and the kids like him, doesn't mean you can make an entire movie about him) is a horrendous fuckwit who goes around acting like a horrendous fuckwit, embarrassing Lightning McQueen at parties and causing him to lose races with fuckwittery. But eventually McQueen learns the lesson that, I don't even know, you should just be yourself and if people don't like it, they're the ones who have a problem.

Yeah, so everyone who's annoyed by Larry the Cable Guy, the problem isn't on Larry's side.

I'm serious, that's a horrible moral, especially in a movie aimed at kids. Part of growing up is learning that you have to modulate your behavior for different social settings. You can't run around and be loud like you'd do at a playground in church or at school. You think I go around telling my co-workers I write about gay interspecies Victorian detectives, or say "Shia LeBeouf is an irritating little cunt" to my mom? No. No one does that. Imagine if people just went around saying whatever came into their mind and doing whatever fuckwitted thing they thought of.


Kids, turn away from this path or you'll end up having sex with Drew Barrymore.

And really, let's try to apply that lesson. Just be yourself. Don't conform to others' expectations at all. Okay. So if you're an acclaimed studio beloved for making family films with very artistic, sophisticated storytelling, then you shouldn't make a sequel to a movie just because that movie made boatloads of merchandise cash, right? And if you're making a sequel to a movie about the value of slowing down and appreciating life anyway, then you shouldn't fill it with lots of wacky action and races either, right?

I know, it's just a kid's movie, but Pixar has never been about making just kids' movies. I always got the impression that they went through the door trying to push themselves artistically. Wall-E opened with this long, silent sequence setting up the world of the movie. Up spent all this time showing you a relationship from beginning to end so you were invested in the characters. Cars 2 starts with a big action sequence with a celebrity voice actor, then does that thing where the villain says "No one can stop us now" and it cuts to the hero.

C'mon. Dreamworks did better than that. Fucking Dreamworks.

Date: 2011-06-27 06:41 pm (UTC)
ext_22444: Aisha Tyler and Milla Jovovich. No wonder there's steam. (Patricia Tie)
From: [identity profile] geonncannon.livejournal.com
Movies like Cars 2 and Fast Furious: Fasting Furries are evidence that cash means more than anything in the world. If people will buy tickets (and by people I mean little kids dragging mommy and daddy to repeat viewings and idiot muscleheads who jerk off to car accident clips), then they'll keep churning them out.

"It'll be like Fast and Furious except they're in... Antarctica. They have roads down there, right?"
"Who cares? If they don't the chase scenes will be even more awesomer."

Date: 2011-06-27 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] potatoko.livejournal.com
As far as I'm concerned, this shit is just so they can fund Brave. (But I can't believe they made a sequel to the worst of their oeuvre. We could have had an incredibles 2. God damn it.)

Date: 2011-06-27 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] colonel-green.livejournal.com
We could have had an incredibles 2.

No, we couldn't. Brad Bird doesn't want to make one (or, rather, he said he'd do one if he thought of a sufficiently good idea, but he hasn't yet).

Date: 2011-06-28 07:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] potatoko.livejournal.com
Well, the point is that cars was the only pixar film people probably didn't care to see a sequel to. It just seems like a waste.

Date: 2011-06-27 09:33 pm (UTC)
ext_12572: (Default)
From: [identity profile] sinanju.livejournal.com
Maybe it's just me, but I'd like to have sex with Drew Barrymore. I'd like it a lot, so that's not a disincentive in my case.

That said, I've seen the same complaint about Cars 2 in other LJ posts, and I have to agree with you (and them). That's a lousy moral for the movie.

Date: 2011-06-28 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jlbarnett.livejournal.com
Larry the Cable Guy is a very successful comic. Putting the blame on him for people not liking him would seem to suggest negative things about the people that do.

In addition just be yourself is a common moral for kids stories.

And Cars 2 is part of a franchise. They even had Mater's Tall Tales shorts. It's world has been built

Date: 2011-06-28 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] colonel-green.livejournal.com
In addition just be yourself is a common moral for kids stories.

Mater is shown to be incompetent and stupid, and these repeatedly cause problems for himself and his friends.

Date: 2011-06-28 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jlbarnett.livejournal.com
he dug Lightning out of the ditch Doc Hudson tricked him into and taught him to drive backwards.

Date: 2011-06-28 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] colonel-green.livejournal.com
That was last movie, not this one. And he's still an idiot, either way.

Date: 2011-06-29 02:02 pm (UTC)
ext_281979: (Default)
From: [identity profile] his-spiffyness.livejournal.com
It does seem like that disease the Disney marketing department carries has finally reached Pixar.

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