seriousfic (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
seriousfic) wrote2011-06-27 01:23 pm
seriousfic) wrote2011-06-27 01:23 pm
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Pixar has fallen. Cars 2 is rotten. They are coming.
So I gave Cars 2 a chance. And it sucked. And I'm not saying that as some elitist blue-state Larry-the-Cable-Guy-hater (although fuck that guy). I live in Texas and I hate those damn dirty hippies. But this movie is fucking awful.
Just... on a basic storytelling level, the message is terrible. The idea is that Mater (who is actually the hero in this movie, which is like, I don't know, Chewbecca being the hero of a Star Wars movie. Yeah, he's 'funny' and the kids like him, doesn't mean you can make an entire movie about him) is a horrendous fuckwit who goes around acting like a horrendous fuckwit, embarrassing Lightning McQueen at parties and causing him to lose races with fuckwittery. But eventually McQueen learns the lesson that, I don't even know, you should just be yourself and if people don't like it, they're the ones who have a problem.
Yeah, so everyone who's annoyed by Larry the Cable Guy, the problem isn't on Larry's side.
I'm serious, that's a horrible moral, especially in a movie aimed at kids. Part of growing up is learning that you have to modulate your behavior for different social settings. You can't run around and be loud like you'd do at a playground in church or at school. You think I go around telling my co-workers I write about gay interspecies Victorian detectives, or say "Shia LeBeouf is an irritating little cunt" to my mom? No. No one does that. Imagine if people just went around saying whatever came into their mind and doing whatever fuckwitted thing they thought of.
Kids, turn away from this path or you'll end up having sex with Drew Barrymore.
And really, let's try to apply that lesson. Just be yourself. Don't conform to others' expectations at all. Okay. So if you're an acclaimed studio beloved for making family films with very artistic, sophisticated storytelling, then you shouldn't make a sequel to a movie just because that movie made boatloads of merchandise cash, right? And if you're making a sequel to a movie about the value of slowing down and appreciating life anyway, then you shouldn't fill it with lots of wacky action and races either, right?
I know, it's just a kid's movie, but Pixar has never been about making just kids' movies. I always got the impression that they went through the door trying to push themselves artistically. Wall-E opened with this long, silent sequence setting up the world of the movie. Up spent all this time showing you a relationship from beginning to end so you were invested in the characters. Cars 2 starts with a big action sequence with a celebrity voice actor, then does that thing where the villain says "No one can stop us now" and it cuts to the hero.
C'mon. Dreamworks did better than that. Fucking Dreamworks.
Just... on a basic storytelling level, the message is terrible. The idea is that Mater (who is actually the hero in this movie, which is like, I don't know, Chewbecca being the hero of a Star Wars movie. Yeah, he's 'funny' and the kids like him, doesn't mean you can make an entire movie about him) is a horrendous fuckwit who goes around acting like a horrendous fuckwit, embarrassing Lightning McQueen at parties and causing him to lose races with fuckwittery. But eventually McQueen learns the lesson that, I don't even know, you should just be yourself and if people don't like it, they're the ones who have a problem.
Yeah, so everyone who's annoyed by Larry the Cable Guy, the problem isn't on Larry's side.
I'm serious, that's a horrible moral, especially in a movie aimed at kids. Part of growing up is learning that you have to modulate your behavior for different social settings. You can't run around and be loud like you'd do at a playground in church or at school. You think I go around telling my co-workers I write about gay interspecies Victorian detectives, or say "Shia LeBeouf is an irritating little cunt" to my mom? No. No one does that. Imagine if people just went around saying whatever came into their mind and doing whatever fuckwitted thing they thought of.
Kids, turn away from this path or you'll end up having sex with Drew Barrymore.
And really, let's try to apply that lesson. Just be yourself. Don't conform to others' expectations at all. Okay. So if you're an acclaimed studio beloved for making family films with very artistic, sophisticated storytelling, then you shouldn't make a sequel to a movie just because that movie made boatloads of merchandise cash, right? And if you're making a sequel to a movie about the value of slowing down and appreciating life anyway, then you shouldn't fill it with lots of wacky action and races either, right?
I know, it's just a kid's movie, but Pixar has never been about making just kids' movies. I always got the impression that they went through the door trying to push themselves artistically. Wall-E opened with this long, silent sequence setting up the world of the movie. Up spent all this time showing you a relationship from beginning to end so you were invested in the characters. Cars 2 starts with a big action sequence with a celebrity voice actor, then does that thing where the villain says "No one can stop us now" and it cuts to the hero.
C'mon. Dreamworks did better than that. Fucking Dreamworks.
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"It'll be like Fast and Furious except they're in... Antarctica. They have roads down there, right?"
"Who cares? If they don't the chase scenes will be even more awesomer."
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No, we couldn't. Brad Bird doesn't want to make one (or, rather, he said he'd do one if he thought of a sufficiently good idea, but he hasn't yet).
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That said, I've seen the same complaint about Cars 2 in other LJ posts, and I have to agree with you (and them). That's a lousy moral for the movie.
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In addition just be yourself is a common moral for kids stories.
And Cars 2 is part of a franchise. They even had Mater's Tall Tales shorts. It's world has been built
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Mater is shown to be incompetent and stupid, and these repeatedly cause problems for himself and his friends.
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