The BSG finale - That was aggressively lame!

[seriousfic]

Short version: A wizard god did it!

You know, they could've either done this as a talky finale or an action-packed finale in which someone shot Cavil in slow-motion while saying something witty like "Let's see you resurrect now, motherfrakker!" Instead, we got a talky finale in which Cavil went out like a bitch. It's interesting how mixing "we must stop the cycle of violence" with "big violent finale!" results in a watered-down mess of mixed messages. Did I say interesting? I meant predictable.

Was there any real reason they couldn't send a Raptor in to say "Hey guys, how about a trade, Hera for resurrection?" You know, try that before the suicide mission?

For all his Big Bad wannabe posturing, Cavil went out like a bitch.

Even the characters comment on how arbitrary the opera house ended up being!

Even the characters comment on how unbelievable it is that the humans all agree to become agrarian overnight!

Really, Admiral Hoshi and President Romo? I realize we can't leave behind anyone who was in the opening credits, but that was some major bullshit. That's like putting R2-D2 in charge of the Rebel Alliance while Luke and the gang go to rescue Leia.

Tyrol, haven't four years on Galactica taught you to rein in your murderous impulses until later? Store up that hatred, man!

Hey, the Cylons promised to leave humanity alone and depart in peace! That makes the... fifth time?

KARA DISAPPEARED? WTF WTF WTF?

Lee: Kara, how did you end up as a corpse in a Viper? Kara...

Kara: I'm Batman. I can breathe in space. And be a corpse.

A non-explanation that blatant is so incredibly contemptuous of the audience that I'm surprised Mark Millar isn't involved. Oh, just have her have a threesome with Lee and Sam. At least there's some visceral satisfaction there and polygamy should totally be part of the utopian human-cylon society. See, that would be edgy and progressive.

So Adama flies off to spend the rest of his life tending Laura's grave. See, finale, that's just being ridiculously THIS IS THE END! We get it, it's just as much the end if he goes to visit Lee once in a while.

What exactly would have changed if they'd found Not!Earth instead of Real!Earth a half season ago?

Oh, Lee, ever heard that those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it? Not remembering the past counts.

So, we learned that Head!Six and Head!Baltar are really angels (OR ARE THEY?) working for God (or is He?) on a plan to... do... something. Whew, glad we cleared that up.

You know, "two survivors and their names are Adam and Eve and OMG THEY R TEH FIRST HUMANS!" is one of those sci-fi cliches that really needs to die. Right up there with talking a computer to death with emotions and paradoxes. I mean, damn, that's grown fucking whiskers, it has.

Okay, Baltar becoming a farmer did earn a sniffle (which makes sense because it's the one thing that had some continuity before the previous episode). As did Helo being alive. HELO! Damn, they made me work for that one.

So Sam got closure from... that flashback he had last episode. I suppose it's a little more subtle than him saying "You know, I've always wondered what the inside of the sun would look like."

No, really, Kara DISAPPEARS? What the... you know, if you're going to make God a main character, why not just have Him bring Billy and Gaeta and Gina and Cain back to life so everyone can have a fun slumber party? I mean, seriously now, put the deus back in the ex machina.

So, we never did figure out what blew up the Cylon colony on Earth? I would really like to know how humanity managed that. I mean, we're good, but we're not that good.

And Tyrol becomes a hermit, reaching closure on the plot thread we started way back in... last episode. Seriously, didn't he have a kid? I could've sworn he had a kid. Can his ending include not being a deadbeat dad, please?

I guess when everyone said humans and Cylons needed to become a single race, the Centurions weren't invited. I'M SO RONERY...

I didn't like this the first time I saw it. When it was called The Matrix Revolutions. GOOD DAY, SIR!

Not having plot bunnies about Tyrol acquiring a Head!Boomer. Stop asking.

So the mysterious one hour of Adama's time turned out to be... a job interview. That was worthwhile.

As did it turning out that Roslin approves of her MILF status.

As did Kara turning out to be a bird that flew out of Lee's apartment that one time. To represent her DISAPPEARING.

DISAPPEARING!!!



ETA:

Isn't it an amazing coincidence that after millenia of Sumerian gods and Babylonian gods and whatnot, a bunch of people just happened to think Zeus and Hera and Athena would be good names for some gods? Because that's an amazing coincidence. As is today's fashion turning out to be exactly like it was 150,000 years ago. As is our language turning out exactly the same, only with frak instead of fuck. But, wait, our paper has corners. I guess it's totally believable.

And man, did Baltar's cult ever turn out to be a waste of time. You know, they could've used that to set up the agrarian ideal that the fleet went for, which would've been more believable, maybe even had some irony in Baltar using his hated background as a farmer to appeal to the common folk of the fleet, but no, it's just a dangling plotline that only served as an excuse for Gaius to be on screen.

Comments

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

As did it turning out that Roslin approves of her MILF status.

YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW

I MAY DISAGREE WITH YOUR OTHER POINTS, BUT I DON'T MIND THEM, BUT DON'T YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT LAURA BEING MADE A COUGAR IN CANON

IT'S LIKE THEY READ MY FUCKING MIND

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Really, BSG, isn't the last episode of a four-year series a bit late to finally come to terms with a middle-aged woman having a sexuality?

As for you, you go watch 17 Again, like we all know you want to.

[sinanju.livejournal.com]

When I saw that scene I couldn't help but think of you...jumping up and down and pumping your fist in the air and yelling in victory.

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS IS RON MOORE

HE'S BEEN READING MY LJ I JUST KNOW IT

[(Anonymous)]

"And Tyrol becomes a hermit, reaching closure on the plot thread we started way back in... last episode. Seriously, didn't he have a kid? I could've sworn he had a kid. Can his ending include not being a deadbeat dad, please?"

Nicki turned out to be Hotdog's son. I believe this was established in "A Disquiet Follows My Soul".

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Yes, but Tyrol still raised him for a good long while. Doesn't he have any feelings for the little guy?

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

The answer that was already established to that question, in canon, was "no."

Quite frankly, staying out of the kid's life was the best thing Tyrol could have done for the child.

[rap541.livejournal.com]

I called it on ending like a negative Matrix Revolutions.

Yes, very silly.

[tamburlaine.livejournal.com]

Okay, let me start by saying that I've watched maybe three episodes of this show -- not including the finale and the penultimate episode -- and PARDON MOI in advance for not completely understanding every nuance, but!

I agree with everything you said. And yeah, I'm glad that Kara randomly disappearing (she disappeared into a pidgeon!) was a major "Oh... wait, what?" for everyone, not just the newbs. I was considering Googling "Kara Thrace disappearing what the fuck?" to see if I could get any answers, but echhhh?

Isn't it an amazing coincidence that after millenia of Sumerian gods and Babylonian gods and whatnot, a bunch of people just happened to think Zeus and Hera and Athena would be good names for some gods? Because that's an amazing coincidence.

For some reason, this was the biggest complaint I had.

Not to mention, because I'm a newb, I thought that they had actually come from Real Earth, forgot what Real Earth looked like, then magically ended up back on Real Earth. Ha ha, joke's on them. Turns out I guess that's not really it? It really *is* a miracle they ended up in another galaxy with compatible bipedal life -- BECAUSE GOD SAID SO. I'm sure there's a name for this trope. The god in the machine is... GOD.

Also, Gaius Baltar is the child of Desmond Hume and Chris Kattan's character in Night at the Roxbury.

I think I LOL'd more than I was supposed to. Cavil saying "OH FRAK!!" and then shooting himself was... what?

Maybe you could clear some of this up for me. I trust you more than Wikipedia.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

Cavil was either going to die or get captured. He decided to cut out the middleman.

[prozacpark.livejournal.com]

Tyrol's total detachment from Nicki after finding out that he wasn't related to him by blood made me really dislike him. Apparently, he loved Cally enough to kill his past life girlfriend for her, but not enough to take care of her kid with some other man WHO WAS ALSO HIS SON FOR OVER A YEAR. I just...have no words, but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one feeling rage.

Oh, Lee, ever heard that those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it? Not remembering the past counts.

Yes, that! I'm basically nodding at all of the logic holes you're pointing out, because YES!!!

And Sam actually got closure from totally ending up in the Elysian Fields with Kara. They shall now spend eternity with the likes of Achilles and Medea. Fun times, really.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

>Seriously, didn't he have a kid? I could've sworn he had a kid. Can his ending include not being a deadbeat dad, please?

Hotdog got 'im when Tyrol went to the brig. And would you want a guy who just snapped a woman's neck in half regardless of the future of the human race anywhere near your kid?

>Because that's an amazing coincidence. As is today's fashion turning out to be exactly like it was 150,000 years ago. As is our language turning out exactly the same, only with frak instead of fuck. But, wait, our paper has corners. I guess it's totally believable.

It's often been noted that speculative fiction fans can deal with things like faster than light travel, only to have minor stylistic issues be a dealbreaker.

In this case, I'm one of those fans, though I will point out that the clothes would be pretty much as silly if it were the future. I'm just gonna assume Translation Convention and stick my fingers in my ears.