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So they're making a Green Lantern 2
Jun. 27th, 2011 08:17 amBecause what else are they gonna do? Make a Wonder Woman movie?
Jun. 27th, 2011
Title: Mind if I Silurian?
Fandom: Doctor Who/Sherlock Holmes '09
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,650
Characters/Pairings: Jenny/Vastra, Irene Adler
Previous: How I Met Your Silurian
Summary: Being the intrusion of Ms. Irene Adler upon our heroines' domestic tranquility. The skank.
( Jealous? Me? Of your girlfriend the slattern? )
Fandom: Doctor Who/Sherlock Holmes '09
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,650
Characters/Pairings: Jenny/Vastra, Irene Adler
Previous: How I Met Your Silurian
Summary: Being the intrusion of Ms. Irene Adler upon our heroines' domestic tranquility. The skank.
( Jealous? Me? Of your girlfriend the slattern? )
So I gave Cars 2 a chance. And it sucked. And I'm not saying that as some elitist blue-state Larry-the-Cable-Guy-hater (although fuck that guy). I live in Texas and I hate those damn dirty hippies. But this movie is fucking awful.
Just... on a basic storytelling level, the message is terrible. The idea is that Mater (who is actually the hero in this movie, which is like, I don't know, Chewbecca being the hero of a Star Wars movie. Yeah, he's 'funny' and the kids like him, doesn't mean you can make an entire movie about him) is a horrendous fuckwit who goes around acting like a horrendous fuckwit, embarrassing Lightning McQueen at parties and causing him to lose races with fuckwittery. But eventually McQueen learns the lesson that, I don't even know, you should just be yourself and if people don't like it, they're the ones who have a problem.
Yeah, so everyone who's annoyed by Larry the Cable Guy, the problem isn't on Larry's side.
I'm serious, that's a horrible moral, especially in a movie aimed at kids. Part of growing up is learning that you have to modulate your behavior for different social settings. You can't run around and be loud like you'd do at a playground in church or at school. You think I go around telling my co-workers I write about gay interspecies Victorian detectives, or say "Shia LeBeouf is an irritating little cunt" to my mom? No. No one does that. Imagine if people just went around saying whatever came into their mind and doing whatever fuckwitted thing they thought of.
Kids, turn away from this path or you'll end up having sex with Drew Barrymore.
And really, let's try to apply that lesson. Just be yourself. Don't conform to others' expectations at all. Okay. So if you're an acclaimed studio beloved for making family films with very artistic, sophisticated storytelling, then you shouldn't make a sequel to a movie just because that movie made boatloads of merchandise cash, right? And if you're making a sequel to a movie about the value of slowing down and appreciating life anyway, then you shouldn't fill it with lots of wacky action and races either, right?
I know, it's just a kid's movie, but Pixar has never been about making just kids' movies. I always got the impression that they went through the door trying to push themselves artistically. Wall-E opened with this long, silent sequence setting up the world of the movie. Up spent all this time showing you a relationship from beginning to end so you were invested in the characters. Cars 2 starts with a big action sequence with a celebrity voice actor, then does that thing where the villain says "No one can stop us now" and it cuts to the hero.
C'mon. Dreamworks did better than that. Fucking Dreamworks.
Just... on a basic storytelling level, the message is terrible. The idea is that Mater (who is actually the hero in this movie, which is like, I don't know, Chewbecca being the hero of a Star Wars movie. Yeah, he's 'funny' and the kids like him, doesn't mean you can make an entire movie about him) is a horrendous fuckwit who goes around acting like a horrendous fuckwit, embarrassing Lightning McQueen at parties and causing him to lose races with fuckwittery. But eventually McQueen learns the lesson that, I don't even know, you should just be yourself and if people don't like it, they're the ones who have a problem.
Yeah, so everyone who's annoyed by Larry the Cable Guy, the problem isn't on Larry's side.
I'm serious, that's a horrible moral, especially in a movie aimed at kids. Part of growing up is learning that you have to modulate your behavior for different social settings. You can't run around and be loud like you'd do at a playground in church or at school. You think I go around telling my co-workers I write about gay interspecies Victorian detectives, or say "Shia LeBeouf is an irritating little cunt" to my mom? No. No one does that. Imagine if people just went around saying whatever came into their mind and doing whatever fuckwitted thing they thought of.
Kids, turn away from this path or you'll end up having sex with Drew Barrymore.
And really, let's try to apply that lesson. Just be yourself. Don't conform to others' expectations at all. Okay. So if you're an acclaimed studio beloved for making family films with very artistic, sophisticated storytelling, then you shouldn't make a sequel to a movie just because that movie made boatloads of merchandise cash, right? And if you're making a sequel to a movie about the value of slowing down and appreciating life anyway, then you shouldn't fill it with lots of wacky action and races either, right?
I know, it's just a kid's movie, but Pixar has never been about making just kids' movies. I always got the impression that they went through the door trying to push themselves artistically. Wall-E opened with this long, silent sequence setting up the world of the movie. Up spent all this time showing you a relationship from beginning to end so you were invested in the characters. Cars 2 starts with a big action sequence with a celebrity voice actor, then does that thing where the villain says "No one can stop us now" and it cuts to the hero.
C'mon. Dreamworks did better than that. Fucking Dreamworks.
"This movie takes place over almost three years, two or three years, and we don't see everything that Cap and Bucky did over that time period. We track very specific missions, HYDRA/Skull-oriented missions, over those two-and-a-half or three years, but you'll see many, many gaps that could be filled later, specifically so we can go back to this war," Feige explains. "I love the [Ed] Brubaker [model], the first few pages of one of his comics will be a World War II adventure and inform whatever his present-day adventure is. I think that could be a fun model if we should be so lucky to do two or three of these."
That's actually staggeringly well-thought-out, especially coming on the heels of Green Lantern's boner-killing sequel tease. It neatly sidesteps the "origin story and first big adventure" problem of most first movies (in Cap's case, why should people care about this guy if all he's done is get origined, go on one mission, and then get frozen?) and provides room for future movies to go where they want in an organic way, while giving us a veteran Captain America in time for The Avengers.
That's actually staggeringly well-thought-out, especially coming on the heels of Green Lantern's boner-killing sequel tease. It neatly sidesteps the "origin story and first big adventure" problem of most first movies (in Cap's case, why should people care about this guy if all he's done is get origined, go on one mission, and then get frozen?) and provides room for future movies to go where they want in an organic way, while giving us a veteran Captain America in time for The Avengers.