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So we start off with the Darkseid CGI seen at the end of the premiere splitting into dozens of crows (the fuck?). In a dingy-looking apartment, Gordon Godfrey is hosting an AM radio show. I would say it's a podcast, but that would imply that anyone who's writing this was born after 1967. You can tell he's a nogoodnik because he's anti-immigration, which makes it rather weird when he drops the "truth, justice, and the American Way" line. 1. Isn't Smallville past this anvil-dropping now that Clark is pretty much Superman? Are you really telling me that he got his catchphrase from some rinky-dinky ham radio operator? 2. So now it's not enough to just omit Superman's motto, you have to actively identify it with his enemies? Wow. Just… wow. Obama's been in the White House for years. I don't care how liberal you are, I think it's okay to have a good guy say he stands for the American Way. Why not just have Peter Parker be a carefree fratboy and give the "with great power comes great responsibility" line to the uptight dean who ends up having sex with a donkey? Then Petey could say "with great power comes awesome parties!" and do two chicks at once. Quick, I've got to pitch this to Joe Quesada!
Faster than you can say Don Imus, Godfrey is off the air when one of the crows turns into a cloud of black smoke which possesses him, turning his eyes totally black. Someone call the Winchesters! And tell them to call their lawyer!
Really now. It's Darkseid. The trademarks of the character are his glowing red eyes and craggy skin. Couldn't they find some way to approximate that? It would take only an iota of effort and it wouldn't turn the Fourth World canon into a rip-off of the show that airs directly after Smallville. I mean, Jesus, people.
Cut to present-day, where Godfrey has become J. Jonah Jameson. I'm guessing he's supposed to be taken as influential, but his rally has, at best, 20 people. You're telling me he didn't have that many followers before Great Darkseid, ruler of Apokolips, put his evil in him? Clark is in the crowd, covering the anti-vigilantism event (real impartial journalism there) when Lois shows up, so that whole Egypt thing sure was important, I tell ya.
Godfrey unveils a new anti-superhero billboard, which wastes no time in breaking loose of its moorings and nearly flattening the crowd before Kara shows up to catch it. The Godfrey supporters immediately applaud. Man, easy room.
Back at the Daily Planet, Lois is reclaiming her desk from the absent Cat Grant by shoving all her things into a wastebasket. Of course, last episode, Cat did the same thing to Lois's stuff and we were meant to see her as a hateful bitch, but it's cool when Lois does it because… boobs?
Lois and Clark talk about how stupid it is for Kara to be fighting crime in broad daylight, even though Clark's been on a kick lately about how he should be more open about his crimefighting. Always one step forward, two steps back with this guy. Clark finds Kara having a photoshoot done. Being Clark, he says four words about being happy to see her and a hundred words about how She's Doing It Wrong and should immediately start doing things his way. Kara one-ups him by revealing she's on a mission from Jor-El, and getting photographed for Maxim is totally an integral part of that, so there! No, she can't tell him what the mission is, because Jor-El's disowned Clark. He just didn't understand all those fishing trips with Lex…
So, why would Kara go along with Jor-El's dickishness anyway?
Meanwhile, in church (?), Lois ambushes Godfrey for an interview. He says that Lois isn't a journalist, she's a blind follower of superheroes. Which is totally… factual? He goes on to say that he knows Green Arrow's true identity, and will reveal it when the final chapter of his book is released online in the near future. Don't you just hate that, you pick up a book at Barnes & Noble, then it turns out you have to wait for the final chapters to be put online? No, you don't, because no one does that.
Things take a turn for the boring. Clark and Kara bicker until Kara agrees to teach him to fly. Clark spends five minutes trying, fails, then whines. Gee, with a can-do attitude like that, why wouldn't Jor-El trust him with the fate of the world? Seriously, does he have a learning disability or something?
( Read more... )
Faster than you can say Don Imus, Godfrey is off the air when one of the crows turns into a cloud of black smoke which possesses him, turning his eyes totally black. Someone call the Winchesters! And tell them to call their lawyer!
Really now. It's Darkseid. The trademarks of the character are his glowing red eyes and craggy skin. Couldn't they find some way to approximate that? It would take only an iota of effort and it wouldn't turn the Fourth World canon into a rip-off of the show that airs directly after Smallville. I mean, Jesus, people.
Cut to present-day, where Godfrey has become J. Jonah Jameson. I'm guessing he's supposed to be taken as influential, but his rally has, at best, 20 people. You're telling me he didn't have that many followers before Great Darkseid, ruler of Apokolips, put his evil in him? Clark is in the crowd, covering the anti-vigilantism event (real impartial journalism there) when Lois shows up, so that whole Egypt thing sure was important, I tell ya.
Godfrey unveils a new anti-superhero billboard, which wastes no time in breaking loose of its moorings and nearly flattening the crowd before Kara shows up to catch it. The Godfrey supporters immediately applaud. Man, easy room.
Back at the Daily Planet, Lois is reclaiming her desk from the absent Cat Grant by shoving all her things into a wastebasket. Of course, last episode, Cat did the same thing to Lois's stuff and we were meant to see her as a hateful bitch, but it's cool when Lois does it because… boobs?
Lois and Clark talk about how stupid it is for Kara to be fighting crime in broad daylight, even though Clark's been on a kick lately about how he should be more open about his crimefighting. Always one step forward, two steps back with this guy. Clark finds Kara having a photoshoot done. Being Clark, he says four words about being happy to see her and a hundred words about how She's Doing It Wrong and should immediately start doing things his way. Kara one-ups him by revealing she's on a mission from Jor-El, and getting photographed for Maxim is totally an integral part of that, so there! No, she can't tell him what the mission is, because Jor-El's disowned Clark. He just didn't understand all those fishing trips with Lex…
So, why would Kara go along with Jor-El's dickishness anyway?
Meanwhile, in church (?), Lois ambushes Godfrey for an interview. He says that Lois isn't a journalist, she's a blind follower of superheroes. Which is totally… factual? He goes on to say that he knows Green Arrow's true identity, and will reveal it when the final chapter of his book is released online in the near future. Don't you just hate that, you pick up a book at Barnes & Noble, then it turns out you have to wait for the final chapters to be put online? No, you don't, because no one does that.
Things take a turn for the boring. Clark and Kara bicker until Kara agrees to teach him to fly. Clark spends five minutes trying, fails, then whines. Gee, with a can-do attitude like that, why wouldn't Jor-El trust him with the fate of the world? Seriously, does he have a learning disability or something?
( Read more... )
