seriousfic

I know the humble cape gets a lot of flack these days, thanks to certain kids' movies that will go unnamed, but did you know that in the event of cold temperatures, you can take it off to warm your lady love, both impressing her with your chivalry and showing off the goods? Note that this works even if she's invulnerable to temperatures far below breezing. Also, popped collars make for great earmuffs. Who's the douchebag now, eh?

Not that Barda isn't getting into the spirit of things. "Off-hand, I'd say it would take a fifty-ton tank to open this door." What would you think if it were a guy saying that to a girl? That's right. Total pick-up line. I'd tell you two to take a cold shower, but judging by the Arctic winds, apparently even that wouldn't do any good.

Don't worry, Firestar, I'm sure a lot of people would "toss around microwave blasts" if they thought about the love you have for Emma.