seriousfic

Title: Unsent
Fandom: Glee
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,779
Characters/Pairings: Rachel/Quinn
Notes: Betaed by dinkypin
Summary: Quinn finds some interesting pictures on Rachel's phone, and has an even more interesting reaction.

( Rachel was in a tubetop, camera phone pointed at the mirror. Her top was lower cut than Quinn had ever seen it and God, who knew that Rachel'd had those under wraps all this time? Quinn understood dressing conservatively, but how could she resist showing those off? Even on Halloween, Rachel actually dressed scary. )

Of course, that's the only similarity between Big Barda and Quinn Fabray. One was raised in an oppressive environment, where she was taught to suppress her emotions and focus on perfection regardless of the cost. Then she was trained by a freakish harridan, proving so skilled that she ended up leading an elite all-girl team. But then she met an eccentric outsider. They became close friends and eventually much more, leading to her exile from the life she'd known.

But enough about Quinn and Rachel. They're not even canon.


Remember when 'non-canon' meant you had to willfully misinterpret the source material?

Title: Drama in the Glee Club
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 721
Characters/Pairings: Gen
Spoilers: For 2x02 - Britney/Brittany
Summary: When the kids want a class on Justin Bieber, Mr. Shu has to drop some truth bombs.

( There was going to be drama, Will just knew. It was a sixth sense he'd developed after meeting Rachel. He just wasn't sure where it would come from. Kurt's crush on Finn? Artie's thing with Tina? Brittany believing that Obama was a Muslim? )

The Doctor has landed the TARDIS.

Angela Lansbury has been invited to a wedding.

Lois Lane is doing a story.

Darren Cross of A Very Potter Musical has been cast on Glee. As Kurt's boyfriend.

Perhaps it's that since LotS was cancelled, I hate every show that's been renewed (EAT A POPCORN BOWL OF DICKS, WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE!). But even so, I've never seen a show so blatantly sell out to what it's supposedly satirizing. It was like seeing an episode of BtVS where Buffy has sex, then runs screaming from a monster before being gruesomely killed. Or an episode of Generation Kill where Colbert punches out bin Laden. "This is for the North Tower! This is for the South Tower! And this... is for AMMMMMMEEEEEERRRRRIIIIIIICCCCCCCAAAAAA!"

I could point to how forced the musical numbers were (Are you even allowed to say "Hi, let's have a duet!" in a musical? You shouldn't be) or how our flawed yet sympathetic characters were suddenly forced into delivering predigested after-school specialisms, or how a band of freaks and outcasts are suddenly able to hijack the cheerleading squad and deliver a Very Special Message to the student body (who applaud wildly, because wasn't the absolute best part of high school those student assemblies where they told us how it was what was inside that counted, and that we should believe in ourselves, and that if there were any gay people in the audience, they had to go to Fake Prom?). Let me just sum it up this way: At the climax, that "You are beautiful" song was performed in dead seriousness. Yes, the most sappy, cynicism-inducing song since the one about Christmas Shoes was not only put into show choir form, it was performed without even the salve of sweet, sweet irony.

Not even Brittana physical affection could redeem this. And don't think it didn't try!

Title: The Skeletons In My Closet (Are Hardcore Porking)
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,055
Characters/Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Quinn/Rachel/Brittany/Santana
Author’s notes: susurrusnight betaed this for me, because she's awesome.
Spoilers: Not really.
Previously: Cherry Chapstick.
Next: A (Tasteful) Story In Which Quinn Has A Spanking Fetish
Summary: Finally, a fic that doesn’t just metaphorically put the Cheerios in the closet!

( Rachel shoved Santana toward the closet, eventually stuffing her inside. It was possibly the only walk-in closet in Lima and Santana would never again wonder what happened to the clothes they got rid of on What Not To Wear. )