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seriousficTitle: Aiding and Abetting
Fandom: Spectacular Spider-Man
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Peter/Felicia
Word Count: 2,020
Timeline: Sequel to The Queer Case of Spider-Man and Tony Stark’s Family Jewels and follows the first season finale of Spectacular Spider-Man.
Summary: Felicia Hardy would have the perfect boyfriend if he weren’t trying to arrest her.
Felicia looked at herself in the mirror as she combed her thick mane of white hair. It was so pale that it had gotten her teased in her early years. But as she’d matured, it had come to suit her. Her body had caught up to the awkwardly coltish limbs of her adolescence, her chest had filled out, and her face had lost its baby fat. All the disparate elements had been unified into the beautiful package before her, gracing a bra, panties, and garters like they were royal jewelry, a watery robe quote-unquote “covering” her.
The entire penthouse had come to suit her; the pomp and circumstance of her birth, supplemented with a few mementos she’d pilfered. It was an eclectic mix there in her inner sanctum, pretty things and paintings and diamonds and that one issue of the school paper that had printed one of her poems back when she wanted to be the next Joyce Carol Oates. But she couldn’t feel comfortable in her little oasis, and it had everything to do with Spidey’s disappearing act.
She unhooked her bra in the back and ruffled her hair into a French New Wave state of dishabille. Her lips soared from a pout to a knowing smirk. At will, her eyes went from the mannered boredom of someone who had seen it all before, to a keen and almost predatory interest. Yes. With a look like the one in the mirror, she could have any man she wanted. So why did she want a Spider-Man?
She sighed, and in her mind her melancholy was an epic thing, the sort of lovely anguish that would drive any man to comfort her. To wrap his big, strong arms (or spindly, but still strong arms) around her and kiss her tears away. She guessed the reason she wanted Spider-Man it was the same reason she stole things she could easily buy. Felicia Hardy just had a problem playing by the rules.
The patio doors exploded open, slamming against the walls with glass-rattling force. She twisted her head to face the empty balcony. “Spider!”
There was no one there, just the city lights shining past the balustrade. Felicia stool up from her vanity, pulling her silk robe closed. Then she let it fall open at the crotch, her long legs going bare as she walked out onto the balcony. “Spider, you shouldn’t leave the door open. It’s cold out here. And I have no one to keep me warm.”
He touched down behind her, as quiet as a moonbeam. “The jails have plenty of heating.”
She turned only her head, hiding her front from him. The robe was diaphanous enough to show the open catch on her bra, the proud line of her spine, and her heart-shaped ass through the billowing of her robe’s lower half. “You’re not on that law and order kick again, are you lover? You’re so much more fun without it…” She pivoted all the way around on her heel, arms held over her chest both coquettishly and peevishly. “Red and blue again. Guess that makes you the good twin.” She held out her hands, palm-up and joined at the wrist, then leaned forward to give him a look down her slipping bra. “So, did you bring your own cuffs or should we use mine?”
He grabbed her, but only to buckle her bra.
“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”
“I’ve had my eyes opened. It’s Spider-Man, new and unimproved, and I don’t let criminals go free.”
“I always considered myself more of a rogue, but I take your point. Mind if I try a hand at opening your eyes?”
He crossed his arms.
Felicia sighed and rubbed her translucent robe between her fingers. “Mind if I change into something more modest, or does the new and unimproved Spider-Man like to drag women to jail in their unmentionables?”
He stared at her through his mirrored eyepieces. “No tricks,” he tapped his forehead, “or I’ll know.”
“You mean your spider-sense isn’t tingling already? I’m insulted.” She slunk her way behind her dressing screen, where she angrily ruffled through her wardrobe. Bastard was playing hard to get hardball. “So, your eye-opening experience. Tell me about it.”
“Why should I?”
“It’s landing me in prison. I think I’m owed a ‘Dear Joan’.”
Spider-Man shot a webline up and twisted into his customary upside-down Zen pose. “That alien goo you tried to steal? It was not only alive, but sapient. It got into my suit, then it got into me. The symbiote fed on my negative emotions until I showed it the door.”
“So the suit groping me wasn’t just you, it was an alien three-way?”
She could tell he was frowning. “If you want to be gross about it. Like I said, it fed on negative emotions, so I hit the symbiote with positive emotions to force a separation. Family, friends…”
“Lust?”
He looked at her sharply through the screen. She poked her head and bare shoulders out. “Just asking.”
“You were in the friends category.”
“You’re welcome for the assist,” she chirped playfully. “And after you and your hot, hot memories of our love life drove the beastie off…”
Spider-Man worked the webline between his fingers, coiling it around his knuckles with tension. “It got into Eddie. Started calling itself Venom. And then it went after my loved ones.”
“I don’t recall any visit. This is the most insulting arrest I’ve ever been through.”
“You really need to be wearing pants soon.”
With a “hmph!”, she went back behind the screen. “So what’d you do about Venom?”
“Tempted the symbiote back to me, then force-fed it some good vibes.”
“You little tease, hitting that poor lovelorn goop with a Care Bear Stare… so then you decided the celebrate the victory of you and our sexy memories by busting me?”
He pointed at her. “You’re a criminal.”
She raised a hand above the screen and pointed back at her. “Look who’s talking, vigilante.”
“It’s not the same thing!”
“Of course it’s not. You cause thousands of dollars in property damages fighting monsters who wouldn’t have even been created if it weren’t for you, while I steal things that are easily covered by insurance. And I give a share of my profits to charity. Can you say that?” She angrily turned away from him and buried herself in the clothes drawer.
He put a soft hand against the screen. “Do you really?”
“Well, no,” she admitted. “But I’m sure you could persuade me to.”
Spider-Man threw his hands up, or down depending on how you looked at it. “God! You are impossible! I am so glad you are going to jail where I don’t have to put up with you!”
“Yeah, about that…” She stepped out from behind the screen in a baby doll which clung to her body in waves of simultaneous reveal and concealment. A diamond necklace dangled over her mostly bared breasts, accentuating the down-curve of her cleavage. “You’re a controversial vigilante, I’m a respected society girl. How are you going to prove that I’ve even heard of the Black Cat?”
He grabbed the diamond from her neck. “I’m sure the Mayor will be very interested in how you got your paws on this.”
Felicia smiled and pulled the necklace back, modeling it above her breasts. “It does look much better on me though, don’t you think?”
Spider-Man dropped down from the webline, landing and rising in dead seriousness.
“Okay then, maybe I’ll go with a choker.” She tossed the diamond necklace off the balcony. Spider-Man jumped after it.
By the time he got back with it in hand, Felicia was on the phone to the police. “—and then he said he’d say I took it unless I let him do things to me! Horrible things! Horrible things of unspeakable perversion!” She paused, then resumed in a hysteria-free voice. “Up the butt.” She paused again. “Yes, I’ll hold.”
Spider-Man stared at her, jaw obviously dropped even under his mask. “You are the Devil!”
“Did you see me name myself the White, Fluffy Cat?” Sirens blared outside. “I think that’s your cue to exit, stage right.”
With a growl of aggravation, Spider-Man grabbed Felicia and swung away.
***
“Well. Kidnapping. You’re becoming quite the menace. I don’t suppose there’s a chance you’ll move up to indecent exposure?”
Spider-Man had taken her to a skyscraper and webbed her to the radio tower. The wind whipped at them both, rippling her dress, making him rub his hands together for warmth. It seemed such a weird moment of fragility for him, a reminder to Felicia that for an imposing presence of justice he was pretty short.
“There’s no way the police will believe I planted all that stuff,” he said, his breath fogging through the mask.
“Just like there’s no chance Iron Man will believe that the Chameleon karma-karma-karma-karma-karma-cock-blocked him? I’m rich and cute, people will listen to me.” She smiled at him. “Though I’d rather they didn’t. Didn’t have to. Ugh.” She stuck her tongue out. “I’d rather not frame you, is what I’m saying.”
“No. You’re going to confess what you’ve done.”
“Or what? You’ll call me names?” She wiggled. “Spank me?”
He rubbed at his face in irritation. “Why?”
“Because nipple torture seems a little extreme for a first date.”
“No, I mean…” he grabbed the struts of the tower by her waist and pulled himself close. “Why do you steal stuff? It’s not like you need the money.”
She shrugged. “It’s fun. And risky. And harmless.”
“And you never thought someone could get hurt?” Spider-Man asked. Felicia snorted in derision, turning her head aside, and he pulled her back to face him with surprising passion. “That you could get hurt?”
“I’m not the one risking my life to save strangers,” she spat back, a treble entering her voice.
“At least that means something. What are you risking your life for?” He held up the diamond necklace. “This?” He threw it aside. “That’s nothing. Just a hunk of carbon subjected to intense heat and pressure, artificially overpriced by the diamond industry. It’s worthless.”
She looked down. “It’s something. What else is there? Stay in school, don’t do drugs, meet a nice investment banker and pump out 2.5 kids. Poor little rich girl, I know… but the only reason I even have this life is because my father stole it. It’s the only thing I’m good at.”
Spider-Man’s fingers were still on her face, the only warmth in the cold night. “I can’t arrest you. I just can’t…” He began tearing the webs loose. “You’re not bad in a fight. Ever heard the expression ‘send a thief to catch a thief’?”
She stepped out of the webs, quickly away from him. “What are you saying? You want me to be your sidekick?”
“Partner. Although your name would come second on the marquee.” He laughed weakly, in enunciated words. He could see she wasn’t buying it and for a moment his body knotted with frustration, like he was trying to convey something of immense importance but couldn’t put it into her language. His fingers steepled on his temple. “It would never work out between us anyway. Gwen loves me.”
Felicia was offended on her own behalf, on behalf of women everywhere. “And do you love her?”
“Well… Venom said he would go after the one I loved the most, and he went after Gwen, so--”
“So you’re just going to let your love life be determined by a sinister alien life form? That’s no way to run a relationship. Who is Gwen anyway? Is that your pet name for Mary-Jane?”
“No, they’re different.”
“Who are you under that mask, Hugh Hefner?”
It happened so quickly that Felicia almost didn’t see it. It was like his mask just disappeared, teleported into his limp hands, held around his waist where it sagged with each half-hearted gesture. With his other hand, he touched his face as if even he was surprised to find it there. Under the mask, the man was boyishly handsome, with clear eyes, dusky hair, and a tentative smile like a schoolboy waiting for approval.
“My name is Peter Parker. I’m…”
“A kid! You’re a kid, I’ve been perving on a kid.” Felicia tore at her hair, visions of All-American Girl: The Mary Kay Letourneau Story dancing in her head. What would hers be? Thief of Hearts: The Felicia Hardy Story? “I’m like one of those college guys that go after high schools girls!”
“I’ll be sixteen in May,” Peter said helpfully.
Irascibly, Felicia felt hot tears escaping her eyes. Spider… Peter had gotten her, related to her, loved her a little bit. It was only fair that he compliment her under the mask as well. Be handsome and charming and mature, goddamnit! Instead, her perfect man was a boy! What did that say about her? “I really liked you,” she confessed with the truth you can spare when the relationship is over.
A moment passed, a warmth encompassed her, and Felicia realized she was being held in the spindly, strong arms of her dream guy.
“I really like you too.”
Jinxed.
Fandom: Spectacular Spider-Man
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Peter/Felicia
Word Count: 2,020
Timeline: Sequel to The Queer Case of Spider-Man and Tony Stark’s Family Jewels and follows the first season finale of Spectacular Spider-Man.
Summary: Felicia Hardy would have the perfect boyfriend if he weren’t trying to arrest her.
Felicia looked at herself in the mirror as she combed her thick mane of white hair. It was so pale that it had gotten her teased in her early years. But as she’d matured, it had come to suit her. Her body had caught up to the awkwardly coltish limbs of her adolescence, her chest had filled out, and her face had lost its baby fat. All the disparate elements had been unified into the beautiful package before her, gracing a bra, panties, and garters like they were royal jewelry, a watery robe quote-unquote “covering” her.
The entire penthouse had come to suit her; the pomp and circumstance of her birth, supplemented with a few mementos she’d pilfered. It was an eclectic mix there in her inner sanctum, pretty things and paintings and diamonds and that one issue of the school paper that had printed one of her poems back when she wanted to be the next Joyce Carol Oates. But she couldn’t feel comfortable in her little oasis, and it had everything to do with Spidey’s disappearing act.
She unhooked her bra in the back and ruffled her hair into a French New Wave state of dishabille. Her lips soared from a pout to a knowing smirk. At will, her eyes went from the mannered boredom of someone who had seen it all before, to a keen and almost predatory interest. Yes. With a look like the one in the mirror, she could have any man she wanted. So why did she want a Spider-Man?
She sighed, and in her mind her melancholy was an epic thing, the sort of lovely anguish that would drive any man to comfort her. To wrap his big, strong arms (or spindly, but still strong arms) around her and kiss her tears away. She guessed the reason she wanted Spider-Man it was the same reason she stole things she could easily buy. Felicia Hardy just had a problem playing by the rules.
The patio doors exploded open, slamming against the walls with glass-rattling force. She twisted her head to face the empty balcony. “Spider!”
There was no one there, just the city lights shining past the balustrade. Felicia stool up from her vanity, pulling her silk robe closed. Then she let it fall open at the crotch, her long legs going bare as she walked out onto the balcony. “Spider, you shouldn’t leave the door open. It’s cold out here. And I have no one to keep me warm.”
He touched down behind her, as quiet as a moonbeam. “The jails have plenty of heating.”
She turned only her head, hiding her front from him. The robe was diaphanous enough to show the open catch on her bra, the proud line of her spine, and her heart-shaped ass through the billowing of her robe’s lower half. “You’re not on that law and order kick again, are you lover? You’re so much more fun without it…” She pivoted all the way around on her heel, arms held over her chest both coquettishly and peevishly. “Red and blue again. Guess that makes you the good twin.” She held out her hands, palm-up and joined at the wrist, then leaned forward to give him a look down her slipping bra. “So, did you bring your own cuffs or should we use mine?”
He grabbed her, but only to buckle her bra.
“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”
“I’ve had my eyes opened. It’s Spider-Man, new and unimproved, and I don’t let criminals go free.”
“I always considered myself more of a rogue, but I take your point. Mind if I try a hand at opening your eyes?”
He crossed his arms.
Felicia sighed and rubbed her translucent robe between her fingers. “Mind if I change into something more modest, or does the new and unimproved Spider-Man like to drag women to jail in their unmentionables?”
He stared at her through his mirrored eyepieces. “No tricks,” he tapped his forehead, “or I’ll know.”
“You mean your spider-sense isn’t tingling already? I’m insulted.” She slunk her way behind her dressing screen, where she angrily ruffled through her wardrobe. Bastard was playing hard to get hardball. “So, your eye-opening experience. Tell me about it.”
“Why should I?”
“It’s landing me in prison. I think I’m owed a ‘Dear Joan’.”
Spider-Man shot a webline up and twisted into his customary upside-down Zen pose. “That alien goo you tried to steal? It was not only alive, but sapient. It got into my suit, then it got into me. The symbiote fed on my negative emotions until I showed it the door.”
“So the suit groping me wasn’t just you, it was an alien three-way?”
She could tell he was frowning. “If you want to be gross about it. Like I said, it fed on negative emotions, so I hit the symbiote with positive emotions to force a separation. Family, friends…”
“Lust?”
He looked at her sharply through the screen. She poked her head and bare shoulders out. “Just asking.”
“You were in the friends category.”
“You’re welcome for the assist,” she chirped playfully. “And after you and your hot, hot memories of our love life drove the beastie off…”
Spider-Man worked the webline between his fingers, coiling it around his knuckles with tension. “It got into Eddie. Started calling itself Venom. And then it went after my loved ones.”
“I don’t recall any visit. This is the most insulting arrest I’ve ever been through.”
“You really need to be wearing pants soon.”
With a “hmph!”, she went back behind the screen. “So what’d you do about Venom?”
“Tempted the symbiote back to me, then force-fed it some good vibes.”
“You little tease, hitting that poor lovelorn goop with a Care Bear Stare… so then you decided the celebrate the victory of you and our sexy memories by busting me?”
He pointed at her. “You’re a criminal.”
She raised a hand above the screen and pointed back at her. “Look who’s talking, vigilante.”
“It’s not the same thing!”
“Of course it’s not. You cause thousands of dollars in property damages fighting monsters who wouldn’t have even been created if it weren’t for you, while I steal things that are easily covered by insurance. And I give a share of my profits to charity. Can you say that?” She angrily turned away from him and buried herself in the clothes drawer.
He put a soft hand against the screen. “Do you really?”
“Well, no,” she admitted. “But I’m sure you could persuade me to.”
Spider-Man threw his hands up, or down depending on how you looked at it. “God! You are impossible! I am so glad you are going to jail where I don’t have to put up with you!”
“Yeah, about that…” She stepped out from behind the screen in a baby doll which clung to her body in waves of simultaneous reveal and concealment. A diamond necklace dangled over her mostly bared breasts, accentuating the down-curve of her cleavage. “You’re a controversial vigilante, I’m a respected society girl. How are you going to prove that I’ve even heard of the Black Cat?”
He grabbed the diamond from her neck. “I’m sure the Mayor will be very interested in how you got your paws on this.”
Felicia smiled and pulled the necklace back, modeling it above her breasts. “It does look much better on me though, don’t you think?”
Spider-Man dropped down from the webline, landing and rising in dead seriousness.
“Okay then, maybe I’ll go with a choker.” She tossed the diamond necklace off the balcony. Spider-Man jumped after it.
By the time he got back with it in hand, Felicia was on the phone to the police. “—and then he said he’d say I took it unless I let him do things to me! Horrible things! Horrible things of unspeakable perversion!” She paused, then resumed in a hysteria-free voice. “Up the butt.” She paused again. “Yes, I’ll hold.”
Spider-Man stared at her, jaw obviously dropped even under his mask. “You are the Devil!”
“Did you see me name myself the White, Fluffy Cat?” Sirens blared outside. “I think that’s your cue to exit, stage right.”
With a growl of aggravation, Spider-Man grabbed Felicia and swung away.
***
“Well. Kidnapping. You’re becoming quite the menace. I don’t suppose there’s a chance you’ll move up to indecent exposure?”
Spider-Man had taken her to a skyscraper and webbed her to the radio tower. The wind whipped at them both, rippling her dress, making him rub his hands together for warmth. It seemed such a weird moment of fragility for him, a reminder to Felicia that for an imposing presence of justice he was pretty short.
“There’s no way the police will believe I planted all that stuff,” he said, his breath fogging through the mask.
“Just like there’s no chance Iron Man will believe that the Chameleon karma-karma-karma-karma-karma-cock-blocked him? I’m rich and cute, people will listen to me.” She smiled at him. “Though I’d rather they didn’t. Didn’t have to. Ugh.” She stuck her tongue out. “I’d rather not frame you, is what I’m saying.”
“No. You’re going to confess what you’ve done.”
“Or what? You’ll call me names?” She wiggled. “Spank me?”
He rubbed at his face in irritation. “Why?”
“Because nipple torture seems a little extreme for a first date.”
“No, I mean…” he grabbed the struts of the tower by her waist and pulled himself close. “Why do you steal stuff? It’s not like you need the money.”
She shrugged. “It’s fun. And risky. And harmless.”
“And you never thought someone could get hurt?” Spider-Man asked. Felicia snorted in derision, turning her head aside, and he pulled her back to face him with surprising passion. “That you could get hurt?”
“I’m not the one risking my life to save strangers,” she spat back, a treble entering her voice.
“At least that means something. What are you risking your life for?” He held up the diamond necklace. “This?” He threw it aside. “That’s nothing. Just a hunk of carbon subjected to intense heat and pressure, artificially overpriced by the diamond industry. It’s worthless.”
She looked down. “It’s something. What else is there? Stay in school, don’t do drugs, meet a nice investment banker and pump out 2.5 kids. Poor little rich girl, I know… but the only reason I even have this life is because my father stole it. It’s the only thing I’m good at.”
Spider-Man’s fingers were still on her face, the only warmth in the cold night. “I can’t arrest you. I just can’t…” He began tearing the webs loose. “You’re not bad in a fight. Ever heard the expression ‘send a thief to catch a thief’?”
She stepped out of the webs, quickly away from him. “What are you saying? You want me to be your sidekick?”
“Partner. Although your name would come second on the marquee.” He laughed weakly, in enunciated words. He could see she wasn’t buying it and for a moment his body knotted with frustration, like he was trying to convey something of immense importance but couldn’t put it into her language. His fingers steepled on his temple. “It would never work out between us anyway. Gwen loves me.”
Felicia was offended on her own behalf, on behalf of women everywhere. “And do you love her?”
“Well… Venom said he would go after the one I loved the most, and he went after Gwen, so--”
“So you’re just going to let your love life be determined by a sinister alien life form? That’s no way to run a relationship. Who is Gwen anyway? Is that your pet name for Mary-Jane?”
“No, they’re different.”
“Who are you under that mask, Hugh Hefner?”
It happened so quickly that Felicia almost didn’t see it. It was like his mask just disappeared, teleported into his limp hands, held around his waist where it sagged with each half-hearted gesture. With his other hand, he touched his face as if even he was surprised to find it there. Under the mask, the man was boyishly handsome, with clear eyes, dusky hair, and a tentative smile like a schoolboy waiting for approval.
“My name is Peter Parker. I’m…”
“A kid! You’re a kid, I’ve been perving on a kid.” Felicia tore at her hair, visions of All-American Girl: The Mary Kay Letourneau Story dancing in her head. What would hers be? Thief of Hearts: The Felicia Hardy Story? “I’m like one of those college guys that go after high schools girls!”
“I’ll be sixteen in May,” Peter said helpfully.
Irascibly, Felicia felt hot tears escaping her eyes. Spider… Peter had gotten her, related to her, loved her a little bit. It was only fair that he compliment her under the mask as well. Be handsome and charming and mature, goddamnit! Instead, her perfect man was a boy! What did that say about her? “I really liked you,” she confessed with the truth you can spare when the relationship is over.
A moment passed, a warmth encompassed her, and Felicia realized she was being held in the spindly, strong arms of her dream guy.
“I really like you too.”
Jinxed.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 04:00 am (UTC)I liked this a lot! The first one was funnier, but this one was good too, in a more serious way.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 06:43 pm (UTC)I'm not sure how, but I'm sure Quesada's to blame.
Don't worry, I'm sure those two crazy
kidsyoung adults can work something out...no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 06:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 04:03 am (UTC)*runs*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 08:43 am (UTC)Hurrah! Felicia finds out she'd a dirty old lady. My favorite thing in the world, short some Spidey/Iron Man. And some 'Horrible things of unspeakable perversion' but I can wait...
That was wonderful, thankyou.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 06:39 pm (UTC)Poor girl will have to spend an awful lot of time "yachting" with Emma Frost.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-26 08:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-28 05:08 pm (UTC)Spider-Man was put in a tough position when he wanted to bring in Felicia. I liked how she thwarted his first attempt at bringing her in. It was a good thing he didn't give up when he took her from her apartment, webbed her up and just talked to her. For a while there, I thought that Peter would tell Felicia how he became Spider-Man and why he does what he does. His words to her were just as powerful. I think that his words got to her and that she could've been considering becoming his partner when he unmasked. That shocked Felicia but she still liked him any way.
A perfect ending to a great story.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-28 11:46 pm (UTC)I love this pairing to death, and it's my OTP in marvel -- so I'm usually picky with what I like, and this is definatly one of my favorites now!