Lizard whistle

[seriousfic]

So the Lizard is going to sound like the Cookie Monster on Xanax. More than that, if he's quoting lines from the film ("SO PRETTY"), can I take it there'll be at least one scene in The Amazing Spider-Man dedicated to a giant lizard trying to rape Emma Stone?

Man, I can't even think up a one-liner to make fun of that. I'm just gonna let it stand on its own. Although I guess it could be the Lizard trying to rape Spider-Man. Yay?

Comments

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

So, the movies have finally caught up with the comic, in terms of fail.

I look forward to seeing Brad Meltzer use his pull to force through a TV miniseries of Identity Crisis.

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

Which is only fair, because Dr. Light did to Sue Dibny what Meltzer himself does to facts and logic in every episode of Decoded, the show so bad that even the assholes who produce those endless specials on Nostradamus took one look at it and said, "WHOA, man! There's a LINE for how much bullshit pseudoscience is tolerable on television. Have you no DECENCY?"

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Technically, the movies caught up with comics-fail the moment they decided to radically! reimagine! Spider-Man by giving him a shitty new costume and making him single again.

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

They didn't use a deal with the devil to do it, though.

To match the fail of the comics, the movies must embrace the fail of the comics for reasons that don't even make sense by mercenary Hollywood marketing-trumps-creativity reasons.

Rebooting continuity in movie series can be either good or bad, while redesigning the costume is stupid, but stupid in a way that's consistent with a studio's desire to sell distinctive action figures of the newly costumed Spider-Man.

Making the Lizard a would-be rapist of Gwen Stacy doesn't even make sense by the standards of dumbing the story down for the perceived LCD of movie audiences, and in fact, it runs directly counter to the goal of selling action figures of the Lizard, for the same reason that the Red Skull wore Hydra insignia rather than swastikas in the Captain America movie, because who's going to buy action figures of Nazis or rapists, fans of Identity Crisis notwithstanding?

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, making Peter single again and giving him a new love interest makes me grit my teeth, but it's more of that James Bond he-has-to-have-a-new-girl-every-movie thing that Hollywood tends to do, rather than just a Quesada Marvel thing, whereas if they made Carlie Cooper his love interest in the movie, THAT would be the movies catching up to the fail of the comics.

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

Also, I somehow seem to have accidentally anon-commented about Carlie Cooper, so could you unscreen that one?

[(Anonymous)]

I for one welcome our new cookielizard overlord. I seriously doubt he's quoting his lines, and even if he is, we can't be sure he isn't lusting after an iguana in the zoo or something. Considering he said there was going to be some digital tweaking, I'll save my nerd rage till the actual voice gets properly heard in a preview. Meanwhile, I intend to enjoy the mental picture of the lizard going gekoshit on a bag of chocolate chip cookies.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Given the tradition of both Spider-Man love interests being damsels in distress and movie monsters preying on women, and the implication of the line, I think a gecko-on-girl action is the most obvious explanation.