As much as I detest celebrity gossip, as I do anything that involves Snooki

[seriousfic]

January Jones has had a child out of wedlock, which is naturally enough to get people interested in the pregnancy of a C-list actress, and named him Xander Jones. The blogosphere is saying that he's either named with an X to coincide with Jones filming X-Men: First Class when he was conceived (personally, I wouldn't name my son after a movie in which I spent 75% of my screentime in lingerie, but then, I don't look as good in it as January Jones) or after the Buffy character, which will depress the percentage of my f-list that thinks Xander is a rapist.


Of course, he could be named after Xander Cage, but in the pantheon of Diesel-powered film characters, why not Riddick or Dom?

My thinking is, if you're going to go nerd, go full-bore nerd. Name him Jon Snow. I mean, hey, the gossip circuit already hates you for trying to keep your private life private, you might as well give 'em the middle finger with the style only a reference to fantasy novel can provide. Plus, if he doesn't like A Game of Thrones, he can always go by Jon S. Jones. That's right. The Martian Manhunter. You're Nicolas Cage, you name a kid Kal-El, he's screwed if he grows up liking Batman more. But hey, this kid has a choice between fantasy and sci-fi. You're not only giving him a cool name, you're giving him a valuable life lesson that he can choose his own destiny.

Of course, maybe the kid grows up not liking either Jon Snow or the Martian Manhunter. In which case, fuck that kid. Now we can put him on an FBI watchlist, knowing he's going to cause trouble down the line. Who doesn't like J'onn J'onzz? He's an alien addicted to Oreos!