Commentary track commentary

[seriousfic]

So on the first Resident Evil, I'm pretty sure the commentary track has better dialogue than the actual movie. Michelle Rodriguez jokes about torturing dogs with fireworks and everyone else side-eyes her and she has to go "No, I was kidding, I cried watching Bambi for God's sake!"

Fact: Milla Jovovich is a sixteen-year-old girl ("Who cares about that, I just showed a nipple!") and Michelle Rodriguez is really a twelve-year-old boy, constantly berating Paul Anderson about the lack of gore. It's pretty great, actually. I kinda wish Michelle Rodriguez would be on every commentary track, complaining about movies pussying out and being unfaithful to the source material ("I couldn't get into X-Men for the first three watches because the costumes were so different from the comic.")

Then in Resident Evil: Apocalypse (note: there is no apocalypse in the movie, but the world is apocalyptically overrun with zombies in the movie after that, Resident Evil: Extinction... in which nothing goes extinct) Milla Jovovich and Odeh Fehr are on the same commentary track with Sienna Guillory, but they obviously weren't all recorded together, because while Milla Jovovich is being a sixteen-year-old girl and Odeh Fehr is possibly high, Sienna Guillory is talking about the plausibility of the movie and the humanity and the rich symbolism. It's a laugh riot to go from Sienna Guillory talking about the irony of people taking refuge from a modern city in a church straight to Milla Jovovich talking about how her dog was traumatized by being a show dog.

Comments

[hivesix.livejournal.com]

Ha, when I was younger and had a lot of spare time I used to watch Resident Evil: Apocalypse with the commentary on. It was one of my favourite things to do. The only thing that spoiled it for me is that Sienna was recorded separately, because it just bored me to tears after Milla Jovovich and Oded Fehr's fun times. Her accent was an upside, though.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

It becomes hilarious if you imagine that they're all recording together and Milla and Oded are just waiting patiently, nodding along while Sienna talks about Jill Valentine's motivation.