Rise of the Planet of the Apes is going to suck.

[seriousfic]

But I will sit through the entire movie if, at the very end, James Franco is enslaved by CGI monkeys and forced to turn the Lincoln Memorial into a monument to chimpanzee Tim Roth. Then Mark Wahlberg lands in a spaceship and goes "Huh?"

Then, over the end credits, Tim Burton rants at the audience. "See? Now my Planet of the Apes remake makes perfect sense! DADDY ISSUES BLACK AND WHITE SPIRALS DANNY ELFMAN MUSIC!!!"

Comments

[doclinus.livejournal.com]

I like that Tim Burton movie where Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham-Carter go on an unusual adventure with lots of black comedy.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

The one with lots of merchandise at Hot Topic?

[doclinus.livejournal.com]

The other day I saw a guy with a sleeve tattoo composed of the characters from Nightmare before Christmas. It made me pause.

As much as I think Kevin Smith is a self-indulgent prick, he IS funny when he takes shots at Burton.