seriousfic

There's something funny going on here...

Title: It's Not So Hard, Being Easy
Fandom: Warehouse 13
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,214
Characters/Pairings: Myka/H.G.
Summary: Myka doesn't want to forgive Helena. Helena offers her sex.

Myka couldn't believe she hadn't been rescued yet. It'd been a week. An entire week. And she'd been stuck with Helena the whole time.

It'd just been a one-time, fate-of-the-world-in-the-balance, sworn-enemies-forced-to-work-together thing. Myka had, of course, tried to let her have it over her betrayal, but Helena didn't even have the good grace to be angsty. She dismissed the whole thing with a smile and a "Well, everything's worked out, hasn't it?"

An entire week, trapped with someone who was pathologically incapable of A. not flirting with Myka (which wasn't at all flattering anymore) and B. taking responsibility for her actions (which had used to be fun). On the way to make first contact with a possible crash-landed alien, along with all the rest of the cool government operatives, they'd checked into a motel and just not been able to leave. The shower worked, the toilet flushed, but whenever they walked out the door or climbed out a window, they somehow ended up back with each other. No one had had the decency to even interrogate them so they could snarkily dismiss them. Food just came in through a hole in the door, three times a day.

"At least it's good food," Helena said. "Try this broccoli. Yanks so rarely get broccoli right, but this is cooked just exquisitely."

"I'm not hungry," Myka said, waiting until Helena was asleep to eat what was left over. So annoying.

***

"You're probably going to regret not ravishing me," Helena said, sipping some Chardonnay that had been in an ice bucket by the bed when they'd woken up. Myka resented the hospitality. It seemed to make Helena even more unbearable, somehow.

Myka crossed her arms and tried to sit deeper in the wicker chair that was the only seat in the room besides the bed. Helena took another girlish sip.

"It's been a week and while I sympathize with your initial reluctance to resume screwing each others' brains out, there've been at least three days when we could've been having sex with no shame on your end. Sexual tension, enclosed space, stress, it's inevitable."

Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking. Don't make me explain to Artie why I killed the one person who apparently speaks Alienese.

"I'm just saying that there are very few people without STDs who die wishing they'd fornicated less."

"You pointed a gun at me!" Myka finally exclaimed, outraged.

"It's our thing," Helena shrugged. "And I did make up for it."

"You sent flowers!"

"A lot of flowers. With chocolates."

"Yes, I gave them to Pete." Myka enjoyed watching Helena's face fall. "You were practically a supervillain. Multiple times. Once after you promised me no more supervillaining."

"I do regret that. If I could do it all over again, I would have opted for continuing having sex with you."

Myka groaned. "Could you stop bringing that up?"

"Why? It's what's on both our minds. I was the best you ever had and you're at least in my top five. We're compatible. It's a gift."

Helena kept looking at her, waiting for a response, so Myka finally said "Someone had better be feeding my ferret."

Helena "hmm"ed and nodded. "I miss my vibrator."

Myka could've smashed her head into the wall. Made a hole and escaped that way. "Maybe we could have bondage sex and I could gag you…"

"Don't be snippy. I'm a sexual creature. Neither of us are ashamed of it. And after an entire week of being alone with you, it would be nice to have some release. Preferably, you, but a Hitachi Sword-in-the-Stone would also be… satisfactory." She gave Myka her trademark smirk at the double entendre.

"The showerhead comes off," Myka said.

That shut her up. For a moment. "Oh. Darling…"

"Just… do your business. I'll be out here."

"Apologies in advance for the noise. You know how vocal I can get."

Myka was planning on lying on the bed, holding the pillow over her ears and coming up with some creative insults to use on Helena It was just that Helena walked to the bathroom, stood in the doorway, and disrobed there.

Helena always seemed to enjoy disrobing. She seemed to take special pleasure in how every item of clothing left her body, was pleasantly surprised by her own body whenever it was revealed. And it'd been a long week.

Helena turned around at the sound of Myka's approach, only to receive a stinging slap across the face. Then Myka sunk her hands into that delectable ass and pulled Helena against her.

"Oh, Miss Bering…"

"I still reserve the right to be a bitch to you for no reason."

"Of course."

"And whatever the pitcher is in a lesbian relationship, that's me."

"You're on top, dear, absolutely."

"And I want you to tell me how pretty I am. Often."

Helena quirked an eyebrow like she was Pete or something. "Supervillain," Myka reminded her.

"Do I get to see what I'm complimenting?"

"You can undress me if you like."

Helena smirked and sauntered and when she was so unbearably smug Myka was tempted to leave her hanging just to teach her a lesson, she shoved Myka down on the bed and began undressing her from the toes up. First she pulled off Myka's slippers and tossed them over her shoulder. Then, pinching the cuffs of Myka's pants between her fingers, she tugged them down Myka's legs

Pretty smug herself, Myka watched H.G's hungry eyes roam her panties. She even pulled them down a little, not showing anything, but knowing the dishabille would drive Helena wild.

She was right. Like a schoolgirl hiding a grin behind her hand, Helena grabbed Myka's foot and held it to her mouth, kissing the pad of her foot. "See how sorry I am?" Helena asked, now kissing Myka's calf.

Helena's submission, ironic or not, sent a shot of lust through Myka that she wasn't sure she was capable of. She had no idea she could still look at Helena that way, with that blush of first love, but Helena was so good-humored and so beautiful… why did Myka have to want to forgive her so much?

Then Helena ran Myka's foot down her body, over her breasts, her taut flat stomach, the slightest jut of her bony hip. It was maddening, touching Helena everywhere Myka wanted to touch her, but with the half-insensate feel of her damn foot. Then Myka's foot reached her crotch and Helena actually worked herself onto Myka's toes. It was so warm, so moist, that all Myka could think of was feeling it with her fingers and her tongue and her own sex pressed against Helena's.

All too soon, it was over. With a fittingly pinched gasp, Helena freed Myka's foot and brought it back to her lips; actually, yes, sucking herself off of Myka's skin. The stimulus enraptured Myka's mind and body. She could think of nothing but Helena's taste.

She pushed on Myka's leg, gently and gently easing it up until it formed an L-shape with Myka's body. Helena touched her face to the muscle of Myka's calf, basking in their meeting skin, dragging herself down Myka's leg. She kissed the erogenous zone behind Myka's knee with as much passion as a lesser lover would use on someone's lips, suckling the nerve cluster there until it felt like Myka's leg was electrified.

"Oh, imagine anyone else being good enough for this body," she sniffed disdainfully. "For you."

Now crawling onto the bed, she nipped her way down Myka's thigh, then ran her lips along Myka's hamstring. "Thaaaat's better," she chorused, reaching Myka's apex to find her panties damp and musky with her scent. She rubbed her nose on them like a man enjoying a cigar he was about to smoke.

In a fit, Myka began unbuttoning her blouse. "No more foreplay. I'm on top, remember?"

"Absolutely, dearest. I just like to appreciate a gift so graciously offered." Like a Victorian gentleman kissing a lady's hand, Helena took the waistband on Myka's panties in her teeth and dragged them just to the midpoint of her thighs, so Myka could still feel their moist weight against her skin. Then she settled her face to Myka's groin, lips parted, breath further tantalizing Myka when she exhaled so warmly…

"Oh, God, you bitch…" Myka murmured.

Helena smiled up at her. Myka had reduced herself to just a bra, since the clasp was a bit too much for her at the moment, and Helena enjoyed the sight of Myka clothed-but-just-barely. Something about her breasts heaving in the confines of such a plain, utilitarian bra appealed to Helena. "Open yourself for me."

Myka shut her legs. "I thought you were apologizing."

A note of panic entered Helena's voice. "I am, I am…" She lowered her voice back to sultriness. "I just want to lick all of you."

Myka shivered. "Alright. But say please."

"Please." Helena kissed the tops of Myka's thighs in turn, like that was the key to opening them. "Pretty please."

"With a cherry on top?"

Helena gritted her teeth. "Whatever you want on top. Fudge. Sprinkles. Pistachio nuts."

With raised eyebrows, Myka firmly steepled her legs on either side of Helena. Helena's eyes fondly traced from Myka's face, down her subtly muscled body, to the pure femininity of her core. With an artistic eye, she gazed at the fruits of her labors. She'd barely gotten past second base and here Myka was, a faucet. Did wonders for the self-esteem.

She was just opening her mouth to make a promised remark on Myka's beauty (there was so much to compliment; she wanted to give Myka a fitting bon mot) when the woman grabbed her by the hair and pulled Helena down with all her strength. Helena struggled instinctively, but quickly gave in to Myka's overwhelming desire to have Helena's face in her pussy. She could barely breathe, but she couldn't care less. She wanted this as bad as Myka, and though she'd never admit it, she'd missed her a lot more than any vibrator.

Myka bucked with each lash of Helena's tongue against her clit, her entire body rebelling in great spasms, but Helena wouldn't be deterred and Myka wouldn't let her up anyway. Helena felt her body throb like an engine starting up. She hadn't been touched and she couldn't see more of Myka than her neatly trimmed pubic hair, but that fucking taste, those little whines as Myka tried to keep from swearing like a sailor. Helena had put a finger up her ass once and Myka had let loose with more vulgarity than Urban Dictionary. It was endearing.

But no, Myka wouldn't like that now, she'd like to pretend she was being seduced and that she appreciated it, not that she was being fucked hard and loving it. Helena didn't care for the distinction. She just liked the moments when Myka was nothing more than starving, begging need.

That wasn't why Myka was pulling Helena's hair out by the roots, though, even if H.G. would never believe it. Myka loved how Helena dropped all pretensions, all smugness, all her smarmy charm when they had sex. It was almost like having an open and honest conversation, only they didn't have to talk about their feelings. They just felt.

Helena was now moaning, deep in the pit of her stomach, satisfaction at having Myka at her mercy. Myka couldn't take anymore. The dry spell before, the week alone with Helena and her lingering glances, then the touching and Helena's naked body and even what was left of her own clothes rubbing against her, it was all too much.

Helena felt a long-missed taste fill her mouth.

Myka felt her body both clench and release.

Helena pulled her head back to take in air, all of it smelling of Myka, her smile infectious as she reached down to finish herself off, because surely it couldn't take more than a touch at this point…

"Ho-ly cats." Both women twisted to see Claudia standing in the doorway. Her eyes were like bombs about to go off.

The phrase 'caught with your hand in the cookie jar' occurred to Helena and wouldn't leave her. "I see the quaint British custom of knocking hasn't made its way across the pond…"

Myka remained speechless. A bit guiltily, she pulled a pillow in front of her body.

"I warned you guys about the motel of sexual embarrassment!" Claudia said accusingly. "Didn't I? I remember saying 'cursed motel, won't let you out without embarrassing you sexually.'"

"I'm not embarrassed," Helena said. "Are you, dear?" she asked Myka.

Claudia stomped her foot. "I'm embarrassed! Get dressed, you're keeping the aliens waiting."

Helena got to her feet and walked to her clothes, enjoying Claudia's slant-eyed bristling at her unabashed nudity. Behind her, Myka straightened herself out.

"Can you drive?" Helena asked Claudia politely, snapping the waistband of her panties as she pulled them back on. "Myka's always tired after sex. She can sleep in the backseat. Put her head in my lap."

Claudia tried to roll her eyes to Myka, as in "can you believe this bitch?", but she saw Myka emphatically gesturing for her to go along with it, so she rolled her eyes to Helena, as in "you slattern."