Guild fic: Hardcore Gamer (Codex/Riley)
Dec. 10th, 2010 12:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seriousficTitle: Hardcore Gamer
Fandom: The Guild
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,606
Characters/Pairings: Codex/Riley
Summary: Codex and Riley play some games. It's an euphemism.
So I wouldn't say I'm really excited about the expansion pack. I'm just grateful to the programmers for all their hard work and my mother sent me a recipe for butterscotch cookies. But apparently Blizzard isn't accepting cookies because someone sent them some oatmeal cookies laced with arsenic for depowering Druids? People can be mean.
I wonder if they would've liked the cookies…
***
Why did Codex order from Amazon? She had that gift card, sure, and it cost ten bucks less than it would've at Gamestop, and she kinda hated Gamestop on principle after what Riley told her about their used games racket, but it was only after she ordered that she realized that she'd really gone through Amazon for a third-party seller, one that didn't offer overnight shipping. So now here she was, exiled from the Knights of Good until the stupid postal service delivered enough mail to get to her package. Who wrote mail these days, anyway? It was just a waste of perfectly good trees. Not that Codex was a treehugger or anything, but they looked really pretty in the game…
Maybe she should get a new therapist, give having a normal life another chance. It could lead to having sex again. Codex missed having sex. Especially with people who weren't kinda evil.
The doorbell rang. Codex wouldn't say she bolted for it, just that she didn't waste a lot of the other person's time dillydallying. Also, maybe she slipped and smacked into the door. That was just because she was wearing her orc slippers and they didn't offer much traction.
"Hi!" she began, throwing the door open, "there…"
Riley stood across from the doorway, slouched against the railing, glowering at Codex with her usual mix of… well, glowering… and also challenge and just generally looking like a Priestess of Vistar on a half moon.
"…Riley…" Codex concluded, not that that sentence really needed conclusion.
***
It's not that I don't like Riley, she was really cool about getting that badger out of my bathtub when I really needed to pee… I'd just prefer it if Riley didn't turn my friends into sex slaves.
***
"'Sup," Riley said. "I got your mail again."
She held up a package. Amazon logo on the side. Packing tape gleaming in the sunlight. There'd never been a more attractive shade of brown. It was just the right size for one of those new eco-friendly game boxes.
"Want…" Codex managed to enunciate.
Riley held it out of Codex's reach, which was disturbingly easy. Why'd some people have to be so blessed by genetics? And exercise? "Yeah, the mailman gave it to me because he heard I was this apartment complex's gamer girl. His eyesight isn't too great and he thinks if he talks to me enough times he'll touch my boobs. You see the problem, right?"
"…how would he see your boobs to touch them?"
"You. Me. Confusion. You, who don't even know your way around a joystick, have been confused for me, who could play Unreal Tournament on a professional level if I didn't already have a job modeling motorcycle fetishist gear."
"Oh, umm…" A persistent image of Riley and a motorcycle helmet and lingerie (Codex wasn't really sure what a motorcycle fetishist was) invaded Codex's head like the Burning Legion. "Maybe when I introduce myself, I could add something like 'and I'm definitely not Riley.'"
Riley didn't seem to appreciate the quip, even though it was more of an honest suggestion. "Here's the deal, Wii gamer. You beat one level of an action game, a real game, and I let you have your copy of Catastrophe."
"Cataclysm!" And as long as Codex was sticking up for herself… "And I'm pretty sure this is illegal."
"So? I do sting operations for the cops, they'll back me."
"But wha… what about my motion sickness?"
Riley took a bottle of Dramamine out of her pocket.
***
Okay, I'll just play a game on easy, right? How hard could it be?
***
Riley had upgraded her home theater since the last time Codex had been there. There was a stereo and an HDTV and a cabinet with consoles lined up in rows. It was all a little intimidating. Everything was black.
"We'll start you off with Call of Duty," Riley said, setting the Amazon package on top of a bookshelf, where Codex couldn't reach it. Not unless she stood on top of a chair or something…
Codex was trying to figure out how to pile two chairs on top of each other when Riley got back from the kitchen, a steaming hot plate of Pizza Bites in her hands and the Call of Duty case under her arm. "Don't make me catch you. You don't want me to know your heft."
Codex got down. "Okay. Sorry."
"S'okay. You've got spunk. Spunk's cool. Want one?" Riley asked, offering the plate.
"No, I've been wary about dairy products ever since someone told me that cows are hobbled and kept in one place all day to save money on fences."
Riley laughed. "You're adorable. If a Pokemon could talk, I bet it'd sound exactly like you."
***
No, it'd sound like Meowth! Duh!
***
"So, that was quick," Codex offered, looking at the Pizza Bites. They did look a little tempting.
"I overclocked my microwave. It can melt a half pound of cheese over two pounds of chips in twenty seconds. Pick up the controller."
Codex did. "Don't you have to turn the system on?"
"Just hit the big button in the middle of the controller. It comes on automatically."
Codex did, and it did. "Can't I play an FPS on the computer? With a mouse?"
"You're stalling. Zaboo did the same thing. Once I got him against the wall, he always changed his tune." Riley bit down on a Pizza Bite, sending a trickle of melted cheese down her chin. She licked it away. "I made you a user account."
"Rileysbitch19?"
"I have no idea who Rileysbitch01 through Rileysbitch18 are."
Codex gulped and pressed the A button. She ended up on the X-Box Dashboard.
"Now go to Games."
Codex did. There were lots of demos for things with names like "Wet," and "Resident Evil," and "God of War."
"Scroll down. It'll be at the bottom."
The icon was of a smoking bullet hole. That seemed very aggressive. Codex pressed the A button.
A video of Adolf Hitler appeared, ranting and raving and startling Codex so much she nearly fumbled the controller. Riley chuckled and rubbed Codex's arm.
"Relax. Pretty sure he's just a brain in a jar now."
More video of President Roosevelt, and Winston Churchill, and Patton. There seemed to be a general theme of being badass and shooting things, as shown by interspersed stock footage of shooting things and being badass.
"Man, skip this bullshit," Riley said. "Y button."
Codex figured out that this was an actual key and not a question, and pressed it. The menu came up, and was then shot so the bullet holes were options, the smoke showing which one she had selected. Currently, she was on New Game.
***
Okay. Okay, this won't be so bad. It'll be like Saving Private Ryan. I only vomited once when I watched that!
***
It was actually pretty intuitive. The game was nice enough to tell her what all the buttons did, and all she was doing was walking around a battleship and talking to people, while Riley ate Pizza Bites and eyed her in a way that made her feel vaguely like she was picking which stats to improve after leveling up. (It was a complicated feeling.) Then she went to talk to an old general who sounded like the dad on Family Ties. He told her that the Nazis were working on a new superweapon and then exploded. The battleship was under attack!
"See those graphics?" Riley asked, possibly referring to the bits of gristle that had attached themselves to the POV. "Cel-shaded to within an inch of its life so you can't see any cartoony bullshit. It just looks real."
And now there were Nazis parachuting down onto the battleship. Codex doubted the historical accuracy.
"Alright, just aim and shoot. You've already got your 9mm out."
Codex had dealt with agro. She could handle this. She just wiggled the joystick until the little dot was on the bad guy's head—it wasn't easy with him shooting her and the screen jogging and turning red—and used the shoulder trigger.
"Where'd his head go?" Codex asked.
***
"You have killed twenty thousand woodland creatures in that MMORPGay, but one little Nazi and you spew," Riley said, holding Codex's hair. "That all? You cannot tell me you eat that much."
"I need to kill the animals for pelts. How can I get a pelt off a Nazi?" Codex spat, but it was a formality. "I'm ready to wash my mouth now."
Riley stormed off, coming back to find Codex still washing her mouth out. She slapped some Tic-Tacs down on the counter. "So you wanna skin your enemies and pull their guts out so you can wear them?"
"Well, it's not like that’s mo-capped…"
"It wasn't a rhetorical question."
***
God of War was better. There were swords and glowing orbs and it wasn't in the first-person, so Codex didn't get sick. That was really her problem with Call of Duty, the Dramamine wasn't 100% effective, so she was good with…
Codex paused. She'd been fighting a minotaur and she'd pressed XYBB and now… "Am I having my way with him?"
"No. Well, your sword is."
Codex soldiered on. She didn't want to look weak in front of Riley, not again. Just because Riley was taller than her and stronger than her and had more fuckbuddies than her didn't mean she was better than her! By some standards!
Then Kratos took a break from being covered in blood and other stuff to let two ladies wash him. And wash him. And wash… oh.
"Am I having my way with them?"
"Oh yeah," Riley nodded. She looked over to see Codex looked even more deer-in-the-headlights than usual. "Just circle the joystick and tap the buttons. It's just like in real life."
"Oh." Codex was good at that. Not that, but… well, she wasn't bad… but clicking on stuff in time, that she could do.
"I think they've had enough, stud," Riley said.
Codex pressed the A button.
***
So guess what? I'm actually pretty good at this. Killing things, using their souls to power up my sword-chains, having sex with the surprising amount of women who were turned on by blood-encrusted killing machines. Riley was right. It is kinda fun.
***
Riley stewed in disbelief as Codex made her approach to the boss, jumping from Cyclops to Cyclops in little mini-orgies of gibbing. Tron had been less in the game than her.
"You need a hand massage?" Riley offered, trying to be nice. Really, really trying.
"No, I'm good. Playing the violin is a lot more strenuous. This is kind of relaxing." Codex giggled as she ripped apart a harpy and collected more experience point. "Ooh, jewels."
"Those aren't jewels, those are the souls of those she's killed! You're collecting them and using them to enchant your armor!"
"Can I take a level in Bard? I think that'd be handy."
"No! You can't!"
A CPU-taxing boss appeared, fifty feet tall, made entirely of heads and negative emotions. It roared at Kratos.
"That's the Obliterator," Riley said smugly. "The collected despair of the gods' victims, distilled into one woman who angered the gods by murdering her children, now forced to repeat her crimes on behalf of—"
"Weak point's in the neck," Codex said. The Obliterator keeled over.
Riley wasn't shocked often. Not since Aeris had died, in fact. But this was unbelievable. Codex, her Codex, had plowed through a level of GoW in record time and now the system was tallying up her score and…
"What do I do now?" Codex asked.
"You put in your initials," Riley said numbly.
"Hmm… C-D-X. Oh! I'm on the top! What are all those other initials?"
"Those are mine."
"Whoa. Does this mean I pwn?"
Growling inarticulately, Riley launched herself at Codex, pushing their lips together like they were two rams butting heads, only one ram wasn't ready. And didn't have horns.
***
…
…
I don't have anything.
***
Codex squeaked and felt a dozen different feelings battle it out for her reaction. She was shocked, kinda complimented, and scared in a roller coaster sort of way. Not that she'd ridden a roller coaster since that time at Disney World after the two-for-one hot dog sale, but this was much nicer actually. It was also a girl kissing her.
Riley pulled away with a grunt. Codex seemed to be attempting to perform an Animality, if her Animality was deer in the headlights. Riley straightened her shirt and checked her mouth for lipstick (okay, chapstick). "Sorry 'bout that. My therapist told me I should channel my sex-rage into sex instead of rage. Most people prefer getting kissed to getting punched, and those that don’t hang out in some really weird chat rooms."
Codex blinked. It seemed a lot harder than usual. "You have a therapist?"
"Therapists. The first two quit. The third one hangs out in some really weird chat rooms."
"Yeah, you just seem… really put together."
"I threw a controller through my roommate's plasma TV, then when he said something about it, I had my way with him. He didn't seem to mind, but the TV was a stickling point. Fucking Devil May Cry 3…"
Codex was sympathetic. Once, when someone had swiped a +4 Sword of Lightery off a monster she killed, she'd had to punch her pillow. Now, every time she slept on it, she remembered the darkness within her heart. "You can do that again sometime. I mean, if I make you mad? Or horny?"
Riley looked at Codex. Smirked. "You're damn right I can."
Codex got up fast. "I should go. I promised Bladezz that if I ever had a same-sex encounter, I would tell him about it. But I would love to cuddle--come over here later and play some more. Play the game, not with… toys."
"I have toys," Riley said.
Codex ran. Into a wall. And then, holding her head, out the door.
***
Okay, guys, you know I don't like breaking the fourth wall or whatever, but if a girl kisses you and you really like it and your last boyfriend wasn't really a boyfriend… I mean he had a penis, I know that, he wasn't… can we not get into him having a penis?... anyway, it was just one time and he had this bad boy thing going on and he kinda reminded me of Wesley Crusher, who I had a crush on, even though I told everyone I liked Riker. But he has a beard! Eww!
But does that make you a lesbian?
Ooh, I already got a reply in my inbox!
Oh. It's porn spam.
I got another reply!
Porn spam.
And another—
Okay, why would a barely legal teenage girl want to watch her mother have sex with her boyfriend? That's the silliest premise I've heard since the trailer for Real Steel came out!
***
Riley rubbed her lips again. Cherry chapstick. It was hard to tell if that was Codex trying to seduce her or what. She went to see about hooking up the sex swing. After all, Codex still hadn't gotten her game.
Fandom: The Guild
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,606
Characters/Pairings: Codex/Riley
Summary: Codex and Riley play some games. It's an euphemism.
So I wouldn't say I'm really excited about the expansion pack. I'm just grateful to the programmers for all their hard work and my mother sent me a recipe for butterscotch cookies. But apparently Blizzard isn't accepting cookies because someone sent them some oatmeal cookies laced with arsenic for depowering Druids? People can be mean.
I wonder if they would've liked the cookies…
***
Why did Codex order from Amazon? She had that gift card, sure, and it cost ten bucks less than it would've at Gamestop, and she kinda hated Gamestop on principle after what Riley told her about their used games racket, but it was only after she ordered that she realized that she'd really gone through Amazon for a third-party seller, one that didn't offer overnight shipping. So now here she was, exiled from the Knights of Good until the stupid postal service delivered enough mail to get to her package. Who wrote mail these days, anyway? It was just a waste of perfectly good trees. Not that Codex was a treehugger or anything, but they looked really pretty in the game…
Maybe she should get a new therapist, give having a normal life another chance. It could lead to having sex again. Codex missed having sex. Especially with people who weren't kinda evil.
The doorbell rang. Codex wouldn't say she bolted for it, just that she didn't waste a lot of the other person's time dillydallying. Also, maybe she slipped and smacked into the door. That was just because she was wearing her orc slippers and they didn't offer much traction.
"Hi!" she began, throwing the door open, "there…"
Riley stood across from the doorway, slouched against the railing, glowering at Codex with her usual mix of… well, glowering… and also challenge and just generally looking like a Priestess of Vistar on a half moon.
"…Riley…" Codex concluded, not that that sentence really needed conclusion.
***
It's not that I don't like Riley, she was really cool about getting that badger out of my bathtub when I really needed to pee… I'd just prefer it if Riley didn't turn my friends into sex slaves.
***
"'Sup," Riley said. "I got your mail again."
She held up a package. Amazon logo on the side. Packing tape gleaming in the sunlight. There'd never been a more attractive shade of brown. It was just the right size for one of those new eco-friendly game boxes.
"Want…" Codex managed to enunciate.
Riley held it out of Codex's reach, which was disturbingly easy. Why'd some people have to be so blessed by genetics? And exercise? "Yeah, the mailman gave it to me because he heard I was this apartment complex's gamer girl. His eyesight isn't too great and he thinks if he talks to me enough times he'll touch my boobs. You see the problem, right?"
"…how would he see your boobs to touch them?"
"You. Me. Confusion. You, who don't even know your way around a joystick, have been confused for me, who could play Unreal Tournament on a professional level if I didn't already have a job modeling motorcycle fetishist gear."
"Oh, umm…" A persistent image of Riley and a motorcycle helmet and lingerie (Codex wasn't really sure what a motorcycle fetishist was) invaded Codex's head like the Burning Legion. "Maybe when I introduce myself, I could add something like 'and I'm definitely not Riley.'"
Riley didn't seem to appreciate the quip, even though it was more of an honest suggestion. "Here's the deal, Wii gamer. You beat one level of an action game, a real game, and I let you have your copy of Catastrophe."
"Cataclysm!" And as long as Codex was sticking up for herself… "And I'm pretty sure this is illegal."
"So? I do sting operations for the cops, they'll back me."
"But wha… what about my motion sickness?"
Riley took a bottle of Dramamine out of her pocket.
***
Okay, I'll just play a game on easy, right? How hard could it be?
***
Riley had upgraded her home theater since the last time Codex had been there. There was a stereo and an HDTV and a cabinet with consoles lined up in rows. It was all a little intimidating. Everything was black.
"We'll start you off with Call of Duty," Riley said, setting the Amazon package on top of a bookshelf, where Codex couldn't reach it. Not unless she stood on top of a chair or something…
Codex was trying to figure out how to pile two chairs on top of each other when Riley got back from the kitchen, a steaming hot plate of Pizza Bites in her hands and the Call of Duty case under her arm. "Don't make me catch you. You don't want me to know your heft."
Codex got down. "Okay. Sorry."
"S'okay. You've got spunk. Spunk's cool. Want one?" Riley asked, offering the plate.
"No, I've been wary about dairy products ever since someone told me that cows are hobbled and kept in one place all day to save money on fences."
Riley laughed. "You're adorable. If a Pokemon could talk, I bet it'd sound exactly like you."
***
No, it'd sound like Meowth! Duh!
***
"So, that was quick," Codex offered, looking at the Pizza Bites. They did look a little tempting.
"I overclocked my microwave. It can melt a half pound of cheese over two pounds of chips in twenty seconds. Pick up the controller."
Codex did. "Don't you have to turn the system on?"
"Just hit the big button in the middle of the controller. It comes on automatically."
Codex did, and it did. "Can't I play an FPS on the computer? With a mouse?"
"You're stalling. Zaboo did the same thing. Once I got him against the wall, he always changed his tune." Riley bit down on a Pizza Bite, sending a trickle of melted cheese down her chin. She licked it away. "I made you a user account."
"Rileysbitch19?"
"I have no idea who Rileysbitch01 through Rileysbitch18 are."
Codex gulped and pressed the A button. She ended up on the X-Box Dashboard.
"Now go to Games."
Codex did. There were lots of demos for things with names like "Wet," and "Resident Evil," and "God of War."
"Scroll down. It'll be at the bottom."
The icon was of a smoking bullet hole. That seemed very aggressive. Codex pressed the A button.
A video of Adolf Hitler appeared, ranting and raving and startling Codex so much she nearly fumbled the controller. Riley chuckled and rubbed Codex's arm.
"Relax. Pretty sure he's just a brain in a jar now."
More video of President Roosevelt, and Winston Churchill, and Patton. There seemed to be a general theme of being badass and shooting things, as shown by interspersed stock footage of shooting things and being badass.
"Man, skip this bullshit," Riley said. "Y button."
Codex figured out that this was an actual key and not a question, and pressed it. The menu came up, and was then shot so the bullet holes were options, the smoke showing which one she had selected. Currently, she was on New Game.
***
Okay. Okay, this won't be so bad. It'll be like Saving Private Ryan. I only vomited once when I watched that!
***
It was actually pretty intuitive. The game was nice enough to tell her what all the buttons did, and all she was doing was walking around a battleship and talking to people, while Riley ate Pizza Bites and eyed her in a way that made her feel vaguely like she was picking which stats to improve after leveling up. (It was a complicated feeling.) Then she went to talk to an old general who sounded like the dad on Family Ties. He told her that the Nazis were working on a new superweapon and then exploded. The battleship was under attack!
"See those graphics?" Riley asked, possibly referring to the bits of gristle that had attached themselves to the POV. "Cel-shaded to within an inch of its life so you can't see any cartoony bullshit. It just looks real."
And now there were Nazis parachuting down onto the battleship. Codex doubted the historical accuracy.
"Alright, just aim and shoot. You've already got your 9mm out."
Codex had dealt with agro. She could handle this. She just wiggled the joystick until the little dot was on the bad guy's head—it wasn't easy with him shooting her and the screen jogging and turning red—and used the shoulder trigger.
"Where'd his head go?" Codex asked.
***
"You have killed twenty thousand woodland creatures in that MMORPGay, but one little Nazi and you spew," Riley said, holding Codex's hair. "That all? You cannot tell me you eat that much."
"I need to kill the animals for pelts. How can I get a pelt off a Nazi?" Codex spat, but it was a formality. "I'm ready to wash my mouth now."
Riley stormed off, coming back to find Codex still washing her mouth out. She slapped some Tic-Tacs down on the counter. "So you wanna skin your enemies and pull their guts out so you can wear them?"
"Well, it's not like that’s mo-capped…"
"It wasn't a rhetorical question."
***
God of War was better. There were swords and glowing orbs and it wasn't in the first-person, so Codex didn't get sick. That was really her problem with Call of Duty, the Dramamine wasn't 100% effective, so she was good with…
Codex paused. She'd been fighting a minotaur and she'd pressed XYBB and now… "Am I having my way with him?"
"No. Well, your sword is."
Codex soldiered on. She didn't want to look weak in front of Riley, not again. Just because Riley was taller than her and stronger than her and had more fuckbuddies than her didn't mean she was better than her! By some standards!
Then Kratos took a break from being covered in blood and other stuff to let two ladies wash him. And wash him. And wash… oh.
"Am I having my way with them?"
"Oh yeah," Riley nodded. She looked over to see Codex looked even more deer-in-the-headlights than usual. "Just circle the joystick and tap the buttons. It's just like in real life."
"Oh." Codex was good at that. Not that, but… well, she wasn't bad… but clicking on stuff in time, that she could do.
"I think they've had enough, stud," Riley said.
Codex pressed the A button.
***
So guess what? I'm actually pretty good at this. Killing things, using their souls to power up my sword-chains, having sex with the surprising amount of women who were turned on by blood-encrusted killing machines. Riley was right. It is kinda fun.
***
Riley stewed in disbelief as Codex made her approach to the boss, jumping from Cyclops to Cyclops in little mini-orgies of gibbing. Tron had been less in the game than her.
"You need a hand massage?" Riley offered, trying to be nice. Really, really trying.
"No, I'm good. Playing the violin is a lot more strenuous. This is kind of relaxing." Codex giggled as she ripped apart a harpy and collected more experience point. "Ooh, jewels."
"Those aren't jewels, those are the souls of those she's killed! You're collecting them and using them to enchant your armor!"
"Can I take a level in Bard? I think that'd be handy."
"No! You can't!"
A CPU-taxing boss appeared, fifty feet tall, made entirely of heads and negative emotions. It roared at Kratos.
"That's the Obliterator," Riley said smugly. "The collected despair of the gods' victims, distilled into one woman who angered the gods by murdering her children, now forced to repeat her crimes on behalf of—"
"Weak point's in the neck," Codex said. The Obliterator keeled over.
Riley wasn't shocked often. Not since Aeris had died, in fact. But this was unbelievable. Codex, her Codex, had plowed through a level of GoW in record time and now the system was tallying up her score and…
"What do I do now?" Codex asked.
"You put in your initials," Riley said numbly.
"Hmm… C-D-X. Oh! I'm on the top! What are all those other initials?"
"Those are mine."
"Whoa. Does this mean I pwn?"
Growling inarticulately, Riley launched herself at Codex, pushing their lips together like they were two rams butting heads, only one ram wasn't ready. And didn't have horns.
***
…
…
I don't have anything.
***
Codex squeaked and felt a dozen different feelings battle it out for her reaction. She was shocked, kinda complimented, and scared in a roller coaster sort of way. Not that she'd ridden a roller coaster since that time at Disney World after the two-for-one hot dog sale, but this was much nicer actually. It was also a girl kissing her.
Riley pulled away with a grunt. Codex seemed to be attempting to perform an Animality, if her Animality was deer in the headlights. Riley straightened her shirt and checked her mouth for lipstick (okay, chapstick). "Sorry 'bout that. My therapist told me I should channel my sex-rage into sex instead of rage. Most people prefer getting kissed to getting punched, and those that don’t hang out in some really weird chat rooms."
Codex blinked. It seemed a lot harder than usual. "You have a therapist?"
"Therapists. The first two quit. The third one hangs out in some really weird chat rooms."
"Yeah, you just seem… really put together."
"I threw a controller through my roommate's plasma TV, then when he said something about it, I had my way with him. He didn't seem to mind, but the TV was a stickling point. Fucking Devil May Cry 3…"
Codex was sympathetic. Once, when someone had swiped a +4 Sword of Lightery off a monster she killed, she'd had to punch her pillow. Now, every time she slept on it, she remembered the darkness within her heart. "You can do that again sometime. I mean, if I make you mad? Or horny?"
Riley looked at Codex. Smirked. "You're damn right I can."
Codex got up fast. "I should go. I promised Bladezz that if I ever had a same-sex encounter, I would tell him about it. But I would love to cuddle--come over here later and play some more. Play the game, not with… toys."
"I have toys," Riley said.
Codex ran. Into a wall. And then, holding her head, out the door.
***
Okay, guys, you know I don't like breaking the fourth wall or whatever, but if a girl kisses you and you really like it and your last boyfriend wasn't really a boyfriend… I mean he had a penis, I know that, he wasn't… can we not get into him having a penis?... anyway, it was just one time and he had this bad boy thing going on and he kinda reminded me of Wesley Crusher, who I had a crush on, even though I told everyone I liked Riker. But he has a beard! Eww!
But does that make you a lesbian?
Ooh, I already got a reply in my inbox!
Oh. It's porn spam.
I got another reply!
Porn spam.
And another—
Okay, why would a barely legal teenage girl want to watch her mother have sex with her boyfriend? That's the silliest premise I've heard since the trailer for Real Steel came out!
***
Riley rubbed her lips again. Cherry chapstick. It was hard to tell if that was Codex trying to seduce her or what. She went to see about hooking up the sex swing. After all, Codex still hadn't gotten her game.
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Date: 2010-12-10 11:55 pm (UTC)eyed her in a way that made her feel vaguely like she was picking which stats to improve after leveling up. (It was a complicated feeling.)
And this line? Brilliant! Wow, thank you for this :)
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Date: 2010-12-11 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-12 07:53 am (UTC)Awesome shit, this was.
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Date: 2010-12-12 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-01-25 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-09-05 05:01 pm (UTC)I love the overclocked microwave so much, you don't even know.
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