Robin Hood (2010)
Dec. 2nd, 2010 09:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seriousficMe: Well, this isn't so bad. Cate Blanchett is cool, at least. Her Maid Marion is really awesome and practical-minded, and doesn't do ridiculous shit like putting on chainmail and leading a group of orphans into battle against the fucking French army.
Cate Blanchett: *puts on chainmail and leads a group of orphans into battle against the fucking French army*
Okay, I don't mind wacky bullshity Zach Snyder movies where Robin Hood's best friend is a ninja and Friar Tuck has a steampunk arm, but if you're going to do a grim and gritty take on Robin Hood (other than the one Kevin Costner did, I mean. I mean, c'mon, it's guys shooting arrows at each other. We had that shit down in the 30s. We don't really need the latest in computer technology to actually show us an arrow flying for thirty miles to land in Mark Strong), then commit to it! Don't do Batman Begins and suddenly have Robin the Boy Wonder show up in the last reel to help out his best buddy.
And lest anyone think I'm being some grump who hates female characters (although I could see how you could get that impression, with how I almost exclusively write fic about pretty boys kissing), Marion manages to cut up a few henchmen, then she immediately gets KOed by the Big Bad and has to be saved by Robin. Uh... girl power?
Also, given that the movie isn't about Robin Hood fighting King John, but Robin Hood fighting the French (yeah), why are we supposed to root for the English again? By their own admission, they're war criminals who are shown pillaging the French countryside. Sure, they're not cheese-eating surrender monkeys... no, really, that's the only possible justification for rooting for the French over the English.
Cate Blanchett: *puts on chainmail and leads a group of orphans into battle against the fucking French army*
Okay, I don't mind wacky bullshity Zach Snyder movies where Robin Hood's best friend is a ninja and Friar Tuck has a steampunk arm, but if you're going to do a grim and gritty take on Robin Hood (other than the one Kevin Costner did, I mean. I mean, c'mon, it's guys shooting arrows at each other. We had that shit down in the 30s. We don't really need the latest in computer technology to actually show us an arrow flying for thirty miles to land in Mark Strong), then commit to it! Don't do Batman Begins and suddenly have Robin the Boy Wonder show up in the last reel to help out his best buddy.
And lest anyone think I'm being some grump who hates female characters (although I could see how you could get that impression, with how I almost exclusively write fic about pretty boys kissing), Marion manages to cut up a few henchmen, then she immediately gets KOed by the Big Bad and has to be saved by Robin. Uh... girl power?
Also, given that the movie isn't about Robin Hood fighting King John, but Robin Hood fighting the French (yeah), why are we supposed to root for the English again? By their own admission, they're war criminals who are shown pillaging the French countryside. Sure, they're not cheese-eating surrender monkeys... no, really, that's the only possible justification for rooting for the French over the English.
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no subject
Date: 2010-12-03 01:15 am (UTC)With this one sentence, you've reviewed a movie I would infinitely prefer to see. Also, as far as Norman-versus-Saxon Robin Hoods go, Errol Flynn will always have my girlish heart.
Did they at least show kindness to the poorer French countrymen?
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Date: 2010-12-06 05:40 pm (UTC)Though they were invading us in their medieval-style landing boats. Onion-guzzling douche-nozzles.