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seriousficMoving right along...
The Descent: Part 2 is a perfectly serviceable horror sequel with possibly the stupidest plot twist I've ever seen. And I've watched The Village. A few notes.
1. I wish the movie had taken a bigger emphasis on Sarah and Juno's relationship rather than Sarah's man-pain. After Sarah's actions in the first movie, you'd think the sequel would hinge on their reunion, but Juno doesn't show up until the movie is nearly over. And, very weirdly, the movie takes the position that Sarah was totally justified in trying to murder Juno at the end of the first film, with Juno even apologizing to Sarah as she lies dying in her arms. As slashy as that is, no. Adultery is not an excuse for attempted murder. Given that they're the only two characters we care about (sorry, horndog and lady I… guess he's sleeping with? Maybe?), shouldn't they be front and center?
2. Perhaps it's unfair to expect a sequel to top the original in creature action, but… well, to sum up, in The Descent, we got a lake full of blood. In The Descent 2, we get a lake full of shit. Y'know, I expected the Crawlers took shits, but I didn't really need to see it. There's also some sort of King Crawler that shows up at the end with no foreshadowing or build-up whatsoever, which gets dispatched in about forty-five seconds. And is just a really big Crawler. I know Aliens did the Queen Alien thing, so please, a little originality.
3. It must be said, the actress who plays Juno looks very fetching in a tight top and Lara Croft shorts, doing the warrior woman thing with a climbing pick.
4. Really, if you're going to handcuff someone to you while being pursued by fucking cave trolls, don't be surprised when you get your arm hacked off. There's such a thing as too stupid to live, and examples abound in horror movies.
5. If your movie is going to feature multiple dramatic moments where characters fall to their deaths in bottomless pits, perhaps you should have your "falling to death in bottomless pit" effect at a level higher than, say, my high school drama department's attempt at the "Can You Read My Mind?" sequence of Superman.
6. Sarah sacrifices herself to save another character, since that character has a child (all about the man-pain with Sarah, I'm telling you). So does she go out swinging? No, she screams and gets dog-piled by Crawlers. Come on, let our epic heroine take a few creeps with her, eh?
7. Sarah is found covered in blood, with evidence that she's been in a fight. Later, the sheriff brings a gun with him into the cave. Other characters scoff at him for this. What part of "covered in her friends' blood" did you not get? I'd bring a fucking bazooka!
8. The worst twist ending ever. Okay, so at the very beginning, this truck driver discovers Sarah and gets her help, kicking the whole plot into motion. He also shows up to see our future-lake-o'-shit-residents off, telling them this anecdote about how his great-grandfather was mining when he found an unexplored cave system and never returned. "Folks figured he'd dug all the way to Hell, and Satan was pissed." Standard horror movie stuff, right? So at the very end, the final girl is out of the cave when suddenly the truck driver knocks her out with a shovel and drags her back to be eaten by a Crawler!
This is not explained in any way. Why would he be doing this? Is he trying to cover the Crawlers up? If so, why did he take Sarah to the hospital in the beginning and not dump her back down? Is he working for the Crawlers? Does a Crawler show up at a bus station every month, disguised in a trenchcoat, fedora pulled low, to hand him a manila envelope full of unmarked bills?
"That was good work with the girl. Now see to it that Quintes goes down in the fourth round."
The Descent: Part 2 is a perfectly serviceable horror sequel with possibly the stupidest plot twist I've ever seen. And I've watched The Village. A few notes.
1. I wish the movie had taken a bigger emphasis on Sarah and Juno's relationship rather than Sarah's man-pain. After Sarah's actions in the first movie, you'd think the sequel would hinge on their reunion, but Juno doesn't show up until the movie is nearly over. And, very weirdly, the movie takes the position that Sarah was totally justified in trying to murder Juno at the end of the first film, with Juno even apologizing to Sarah as she lies dying in her arms. As slashy as that is, no. Adultery is not an excuse for attempted murder. Given that they're the only two characters we care about (sorry, horndog and lady I… guess he's sleeping with? Maybe?), shouldn't they be front and center?
2. Perhaps it's unfair to expect a sequel to top the original in creature action, but… well, to sum up, in The Descent, we got a lake full of blood. In The Descent 2, we get a lake full of shit. Y'know, I expected the Crawlers took shits, but I didn't really need to see it. There's also some sort of King Crawler that shows up at the end with no foreshadowing or build-up whatsoever, which gets dispatched in about forty-five seconds. And is just a really big Crawler. I know Aliens did the Queen Alien thing, so please, a little originality.
3. It must be said, the actress who plays Juno looks very fetching in a tight top and Lara Croft shorts, doing the warrior woman thing with a climbing pick.
4. Really, if you're going to handcuff someone to you while being pursued by fucking cave trolls, don't be surprised when you get your arm hacked off. There's such a thing as too stupid to live, and examples abound in horror movies.
5. If your movie is going to feature multiple dramatic moments where characters fall to their deaths in bottomless pits, perhaps you should have your "falling to death in bottomless pit" effect at a level higher than, say, my high school drama department's attempt at the "Can You Read My Mind?" sequence of Superman.
6. Sarah sacrifices herself to save another character, since that character has a child (all about the man-pain with Sarah, I'm telling you). So does she go out swinging? No, she screams and gets dog-piled by Crawlers. Come on, let our epic heroine take a few creeps with her, eh?
7. Sarah is found covered in blood, with evidence that she's been in a fight. Later, the sheriff brings a gun with him into the cave. Other characters scoff at him for this. What part of "covered in her friends' blood" did you not get? I'd bring a fucking bazooka!
8. The worst twist ending ever. Okay, so at the very beginning, this truck driver discovers Sarah and gets her help, kicking the whole plot into motion. He also shows up to see our future-lake-o'-shit-residents off, telling them this anecdote about how his great-grandfather was mining when he found an unexplored cave system and never returned. "Folks figured he'd dug all the way to Hell, and Satan was pissed." Standard horror movie stuff, right? So at the very end, the final girl is out of the cave when suddenly the truck driver knocks her out with a shovel and drags her back to be eaten by a Crawler!
This is not explained in any way. Why would he be doing this? Is he trying to cover the Crawlers up? If so, why did he take Sarah to the hospital in the beginning and not dump her back down? Is he working for the Crawlers? Does a Crawler show up at a bus station every month, disguised in a trenchcoat, fedora pulled low, to hand him a manila envelope full of unmarked bills?
"That was good work with the girl. Now see to it that Quintes goes down in the fourth round."
