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seriousficSo I'm reading Laurell K. Hamilton's "A Kiss of Shadows," since it's about elves and I'm writing an elf story, so I want to know what not to do. Is it a bad sign that on the very first page, I'm pretty sure the editor stopped trying?
I'd come to hide and I'd succeeded, but staring out at the thick, dirty air, I wanted to go home. Home where the air was blue most of the time and you don't have to water the ground to get grass to grow.
I think she means the sky is blue, since she's contrasting it with the L.A. smog, but who knows? Maybe in Illinois, the air is blue and people navigate by echolocation. And then you have things like...
I'd always thought Teresa, though she'd never traveled farther south than Mexico, would have made an excellent Southern belle.
The South is north of Mexico.
Also, Hamilton has a way of introducing characters all at once, with each getting walls of text describing their looks and dark secrets. It's a bit annoying that no one gets a specific introduction or is introduced when they become relevant to the plot. I feel like there'll be a test later on.
I'd come to hide and I'd succeeded, but staring out at the thick, dirty air, I wanted to go home. Home where the air was blue most of the time and you don't have to water the ground to get grass to grow.
I think she means the sky is blue, since she's contrasting it with the L.A. smog, but who knows? Maybe in Illinois, the air is blue and people navigate by echolocation. And then you have things like...
I'd always thought Teresa, though she'd never traveled farther south than Mexico, would have made an excellent Southern belle.
The South is north of Mexico.
Also, Hamilton has a way of introducing characters all at once, with each getting walls of text describing their looks and dark secrets. It's a bit annoying that no one gets a specific introduction or is introduced when they become relevant to the plot. I feel like there'll be a test later on.
