Roswell unwatch - Blind Date
Aug. 22nd, 2010 02:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seriousficReal fast: Marie has signed Liz up for a radio contest to send her on a blind date, which of course she wins. Liz isn't too enthused with the prospect, but goes along with it because she has the spine of Charles Xavier. She gets paired up with Doug, who is almost, but not quite, Guy Pearce. Naturally, Max listens to the radio program on all of this, which is like an icy dagger through his heart! Especially when they kiss! Right in front of him! Agony! Agon--oh wait, at any time he could say "Liz, I want to be a couple" and she'd jump like a cat hearing a cat opener. Shut up, Max.
Meanwhile, Michael and Isabel light a signal fire for the fourth alien, and spend the entire episode waiting forthe Great Pumpkin Alien Daddy. Because every minute Michael isn't hugged by his real father, icy dagger through the heart. Lil Valenti, proving himself the most mature and likable guy in this episode by far, alternately gloats and commiserates with Max about how Liz is, Freudianly speaking, going to get boned by another dude live on the air. They get drunk and Max's alien psychology makes it so that one little sip turns him into Lindsey Lohan. Either that, or Kyle slipped him some roofies.
The blind date goes forward, with a lot more pomp and circumstance than you'd expect for a radio station contest. It appears that the radio station is going to offer play-by-play of them eating and making smalltalk, going so far as to break into their bedroom later under the assumption that they're having sex. Don't these guys play music? Who would want to listen to an awkward first date, made more stilted by stage fright? Common sense would dictate that maybe they could do little snippets of interviews between locales, not set aside four hours of airtime to chronicle a blind date.
So Liz and Ed Exley... sorry, her blind date... get away from the reporters and go back to her place, where Max and Valenti have broken in to go through her underwear and alter her pictures so they have Max in them.
Max takes Liz away to ask her to run away with him, so apparently deep down, Max's heart's desire is "screw Michael and Isabel, poppa wants ta spank that lank." He then uses his powers as God intended: to make tortured metaphors. Being with her is like being under a disco ball! Being away from her is like a car alarm! Somehow Liz is able to resist his warrior-poet command of metaphor and they end up at a concert where Marie is Yoko Owning Alex's band. The radio station DJ asks which of the three men Liz will choose... it's like they've turned dating into some kind of game!... and Ray regains my affection a little by slurring "It's an honor to be nominated" and then lurching off to vomit and possibly have a real relationship with his actual girlfriend. He truly is the Drunken Master.
Max kisses Liz, but then suddenly sobers up... convenient metabolism there... and decides to maturely and painlessly handle the situation by ditching Liz on live radio. Then Alien Daddy's shoes show up to relight Michael's signal and burn a picture of the aliens on it, because it is strictly forbidden to have subtlety or restraint within Roswell city limits.
Ray/Max/Liz shippers, if you want to write a manifesto on your OT3, this would be your episode, although I don't think even someone with a DP kink could ship that.
Meanwhile, Michael and Isabel light a signal fire for the fourth alien, and spend the entire episode waiting for
The blind date goes forward, with a lot more pomp and circumstance than you'd expect for a radio station contest. It appears that the radio station is going to offer play-by-play of them eating and making smalltalk, going so far as to break into their bedroom later under the assumption that they're having sex. Don't these guys play music? Who would want to listen to an awkward first date, made more stilted by stage fright? Common sense would dictate that maybe they could do little snippets of interviews between locales, not set aside four hours of airtime to chronicle a blind date.
So Liz and Ed Exley... sorry, her blind date... get away from the reporters and go back to her place, where Max and Valenti have broken in to go through her underwear and alter her pictures so they have Max in them.
Max takes Liz away to ask her to run away with him, so apparently deep down, Max's heart's desire is "screw Michael and Isabel, poppa wants ta spank that lank." He then uses his powers as God intended: to make tortured metaphors. Being with her is like being under a disco ball! Being away from her is like a car alarm! Somehow Liz is able to resist his warrior-poet command of metaphor and they end up at a concert where Marie is Yoko Owning Alex's band. The radio station DJ asks which of the three men Liz will choose... it's like they've turned dating into some kind of game!... and Ray regains my affection a little by slurring "It's an honor to be nominated" and then lurching off to vomit and possibly have a real relationship with his actual girlfriend. He truly is the Drunken Master.
Max kisses Liz, but then suddenly sobers up... convenient metabolism there... and decides to maturely and painlessly handle the situation by ditching Liz on live radio. Then Alien Daddy's shoes show up to relight Michael's signal and burn a picture of the aliens on it, because it is strictly forbidden to have subtlety or restraint within Roswell city limits.
Ray/Max/Liz shippers, if you want to write a manifesto on your OT3, this would be your episode, although I don't think even someone with a DP kink could ship that.
