People have got Wonder Woman all wrong

[seriousfic]

People are always a bit down on the lasso, since it's something of an odd weapon to have when you're trying to distance yourself from that bondage stuff you did early in your career. It'd be like Bruce Wayne having a secret identity as a priest to get away from those rumors about him and Robin. "See, he can't be having sex, he's celibate."

But let's stop and think for a moment. The lasso does have a reputation as the bullwhip's effeminate New York cousin, but a lasso of truth? Blessed by the Gods? MADE OF GOLD? Gold is heavy. Really heavy. Think about any scene in a movie where someone picks up a bar of gold. That's bullshit. So Diana's lasso is a heavy metal rope. What do they call that in China? A chain whip. AKA, what Jet Li uses when he needs to fight ninjas.

He jumps around when he shoots people so his bullets go faster.

Reason 1,042 The US Is Afraid Of China: They looked at a bullwhip, which can already give you lacerations down to the muscle, and thought "let's make one out of metal and add a spike to the end." Oh, and it can be used with a sword, just so you can receive every wound a human body can possibly receive in the same ten seconds.

Wonder Woman movie - A bunch of thugs go "What are you gonna do, tie us up with your lasso?" Bridget Regan then calmly holds out her lasso, lets a length of it drop to the ground with a clunk, and makes like she's Kratos. There's your ComicCon presentation right there.

So just remember, it's not a lasso, it's a friendly PC euphemism for a whip sword.

Comments

[mcity.livejournal.com]

Intrigued by your ideas, newsletter, etc.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

I have so many ideas for a WW movie. I just hope no one makes one before I get published and at least have a chance of pitching my script, because I'd hate to see Diana be the next Catwoman.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

>the next Catwoman

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

If the JMS reboot really is a prototype of a movie idea, then they've already removed all the relationships Diana has with women in favor of an almost entirely male cast. Since any decent Wonder Woman movie should at least touch on Diana's relationship with her mother, that's fail right there.

[jlbarnett.livejournal.com]

there's been no sign of a male cast in JMS' reboot. So far it seems like it's the Diana show with occasional guest stars rather than having a supproting cast.

[amore-di-libri.livejournal.com]

OMG, WHY ISN'T THIS CANON?!!?!?!?! I absolutely hate the sinking feeling I get whenever I hear about Wonder Woman in entertainment news because I know, know, know they're going to get it wrong. I mean, the comic books can't even get her right. And they never mention having Greg Rucka take a stab at writing something for the movie or even consulting or being involved in any way.

DC needs to get its shit together.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't even need to train her to use a chain whip, if they did a movie. Just choreograph it and then CGI in a liquid gold lasso flailing around, sending people flying. Easy as pie.

And drive a truckload of money up to Kathryn Bigelow's house to get her to direct. That way you can at least be sure the movie won't be embarrassingly un-feminist or have lousy action scenes.

Of course, I place some of the blame on the stupid rule that says she can't be in any TV show or movie unless she's the star, which means they have less opportunity to get her right or to build up the kind of interest that would get her front and center in her own movie/show. It's an embarrassing state of affairs when Booster Gold gets a guest-spot on a Superman TV show before Wondy does.

[jlbarnett.livejournal.com]

wouldn't a lot of small links be better for lacerating the body rather than the rather large things in that movie? It looks like a bunch of mini nunchucks linked together