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seriousficHello, lovelies. Just in case anyone's suffering any psychic trauma over the last fic, here's some harmless AU fluff about Cara and Kahlan getting married. Stephen King does this too. "Well, I wrote a story where kids are menaced by an evil clown, now one where there's a puppy!"
Title: Do you take this woman?
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,629
Characters/Pairings: Cara/Kahlan, Richard/Denna
Summary: Richard is a bit surprised when his old army buddy Cara decides to tie the knot. AU.
"I'm going to ask her," Cara said, staring straight at Kahlan. More properly, the curve of Kahlan's spine as she leaned a ways across the bar to pay for their drinks.
"To dance?" Richard replied, slurring his words. He'd had the poor idea of engaging Cara in a drinking contest, and although he'd downed his ale first… well, he'd always been a lightweight. "Nah, don't… don't do that. Wait for the next song, I'll have a talk with the bandleader."
Cara looked over at the 'bandleader'. A single man sitting on a barrel, sawing away at a fiddle. "No. Idiot. I'm going to ask her to marry me."
"Huh?" Richard shook his head, as if he were just now realizing how drunk he was. "Whazzat?"
Cara showed him the ring. That sobered him up.
"Spirits, Cara. It's about time."
Richard and Cara had met in boot camp, where they'd become fast friends. In fact, he was one of Cara's only friends. She was well-liked enough, but once people saw what she could do with a blade, they tended to steer clear. But Richard, unlike most men, never questioned that he wasn't her type and never asked why she woke up screaming some nights. For his part, he always paid the tab. Apparently he had some money stowed away. Cara never asked why he'd joined the D'Haran army if he had any wealth. That was how their friendship worked.
"Hello, my brave soldiers," Denna drawled, returning from the lavatory to sit on Richard's lap and kiss, as if might've forgotten her, having been left alone with Cara for five minutes. Cara didn't mind the civilian, she took good care of Richard and as nice as he was, he needed someone to take care of him. But she could be a real bitch when she wanted to be, and when Richard wasn't acting as a go-between, they tended to avoid each other. "What'd I miss?"
"Cara and Kahlan are getting married," Richard said.
"Ooh, a wedding. How thrilling."
"We're not—" Cara began. "I'm asking her."
"Best of luck," Denna said, with a smirk like she'd like nothing more than for Kahlan to throw her drink in Cara's face. She's not that bad, Cara reminded herself. If Richard likes her, she can't be that bad.
Cara stood up. She wasn't backing down now, not with Denna watching her. And not with Richard so excited. He clapped her on the back. "Go get 'er, tiger." Cara went, turning the ring over in her hands. "You're a tiger, baby!" Richard called after her.
Cara was so busy looking over her shoulder, giving him her best glare that she ran into Kahlan, jostling the drinks and almost knocking the tray from her hands. "Let me get that," Cara said, taking the tray firmly in hand.
"It's alright, I've got it."
"No, I insist."
Kahlan smiled bashfully, like she always did when Cara asserted herself. She handed the tray to Cara and when the blonde turned to set it down, Cara felt a hand running over her backside. Kahlan did love to wind her up.
"Can I talk to you in private?" Cara asked, unable to keep a bit of smolder out of her eyes, even if this was serious.
"Why, Cara…" Kahlan somehow made her eyes bigger for a few blinks. "What could you have to say to me that you can't say in front of Richard?"
"I wonder," Denna said.
"Really, I need to talk to you. Alone," Cara insisted.
Kahlan's brow furrowed. She nodded. "Okay. Where?"
"Is there anyone out back?"
"Zedd."
"Alright." Cara linked her arm with Kahlan's and led her outside.
A few moments later, Zedd stumbled back inside, rubbing the dirt from where he'd laid down to sleep it off. He sat down in Cara's chair and helped himself to her mug. "Whas happenin'?"
"Cara and Kahlan are getting married," Richard said.
"She hopes," Denna added.
"Oh," Zedd said. "About time."
***
After boot camp, Richard and Cara's regiment had marched to the Hartland Garrison, where they'd gotten to work policing the area. There hadn't been a war since a hundred years before Panis Rahl was born, so that mostly consisted of fixing up bridges and fences, hunting wolves, and burning snake vines. Richard took to it with enthusiasm, while Cara was bored silly. After all the training, the sparring, the speeches, it was disappointing that she didn't even get to take her sword out of its scabbard. For weeks she'd obsessively kept up her training regiment, sharpening her sword, sparring with anyone she could bribe or cajole or trick, and climbing the local mountain from every angle until she could sketch the top from memory.
Richard had persuaded her to sneak out to the village of Hartland when the commander was visiting a brothel across the border. He said the ladies loved a D'Haran in uniform. Unfortunately for Cara, it helped to be a D'Haran man under that uniform, and when Denna had sunk her claws into Richard, she'd wandered alone through the village, wishing she had something to sharpen.
Kahlan had found her and invited her to dance at a little get-together behind the school where she worked. It'd taken a while for Cara to believe that such a woman could be interested in her. Kahlan was beautiful, her homespun gowns elevated into the finest silk just by touching her, her smile infectious, her laughter heavenly. It'd taken a few dances for Cara to trust that this wasn't some cruel joke or attack, but that Kahlan was honestly interested in her. They'd parted quickly when Richard ran by, throwing on his shirt and telling her that they had to get back, the commander had finished early.
Cara had promised to see Kahlan again. She'd kept her promise.
Every time leave came, Cara marched into the village and Kahlan was waiting right there at the gate, to take her by the arm and tell her all the latest gossip, show her some entertaining new facet of rural life. After a month, Kahlan had run up to her, and Cara had just… kissed her. They'd hardly gotten to the bed when Kahlan retaliated, taking off Cara's uniform with an efficiency that suggested she'd pondered it lots.
"I love a girl in uniform," she'd said.
It was the best leave ever.
But after a year of stomping the city limits of Hartland into submission with marches and slaying the occasional gar, Cara's tour was ending. She'd always thought to re-enlist, be a career soldier, have her own regiment some day, but Kahlan had changed everything. Even if she could get assigned to Hartland again, Cara was chafing at being separated from Kahlan for days at a time. She needed the schoolteacher like she needed water, there whenever she needed it, ready to quench her thirst or wash her if she were feeling dirty.
So, for the past few weeks, she'd enlisted Richard in a secret mission. Every leave, they'd stall Kahlan and spend some time investigating the work in Hartland. Cara had some aptitude for the smithy, which was basically sharpening things on a very large scale. And she was good at teaching – at least, the getting-children-to-sit-down-and-shut-up part.
She'd needed the orphanage. She'd needed the army. But now, all she needed was Kahlan.
And she was going to say as much.
Spirits, she wished she had actually taken a drink before going outside.
"What's so important?" Kahlan asked, toying briefly with her neckline just in case Cara had wanted to get her alone for more nefarious (read: sexy) reasons.
Cara gathered herself. Closed her eyes for a moment and pretended someone had given her a direct order to marry Kahlan. Someone other than her heart. (Spirits, that was cheesy.)
"Kahlan," Cara began, a very good start if the person you were talking to was named Kahlan. She put her hands on Kahlan's shoulders and sat her down, just in case she tried to bolt before Cara was finished. "I think we should get married and I've compiled a list of reasons why."
"Reasons why we should get married?" Kahlan repeated.
Cara nodded. This was working out well. "Number one. I'd be willing to kill just about anything for you. So if there were a gar trying to eat you, I'd be there to kill it. Since… if we were married. Number two! I'm very good at hunting. You wouldn't have to worry about food. Number three. In bed, I'd let you do anything. I do mean anything. Number four. I take orders very well—"
"Stop talking, you…" Kahlan hugged her. "Yes! Of course I'll marry you! I love you!"
"That was reason seven," Cara said numbly. It'd worked. It'd worked!
Kahlan kissed her cheeks. Then her lips. Finally, her neck. "Does this mean we can't fool around?"
Cara smiled. "In fact, where I'm from, it's traditional to celebrate engagement by fooling around."
"And we are traditionalists."
"Very traditional," Cara agreed, shucking off her chainmail.
***
Some time later… no, I mean, like a while later… they walked back into the tavern. Upon seeing the ring on Kahlan's finger (and the hickey on her neck), Richard jumped up on the table and said. "Alright! Drinks are on the house!"
"Really?" Cara asked. It didn't seem like that big a deal. Of course Kahlan would want to marry her. She was very marriageable.
"No, actually we got bored and already had a round for everyone. But now we know it wasn't wasted!"
Denna successfully tugged Richard back down. "Well. Doesn't it just seem like everyone's getting married all of a sudden?"
"Yes," Cara agreed, smiling. "It does, doesn't it?"
Richard glared at her as Denna fawningly buried herself in his armpit.
Cara and Kahlan will return in… Hen Night!
Title: Do you take this woman?
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,629
Characters/Pairings: Cara/Kahlan, Richard/Denna
Summary: Richard is a bit surprised when his old army buddy Cara decides to tie the knot. AU.
"I'm going to ask her," Cara said, staring straight at Kahlan. More properly, the curve of Kahlan's spine as she leaned a ways across the bar to pay for their drinks.
"To dance?" Richard replied, slurring his words. He'd had the poor idea of engaging Cara in a drinking contest, and although he'd downed his ale first… well, he'd always been a lightweight. "Nah, don't… don't do that. Wait for the next song, I'll have a talk with the bandleader."
Cara looked over at the 'bandleader'. A single man sitting on a barrel, sawing away at a fiddle. "No. Idiot. I'm going to ask her to marry me."
"Huh?" Richard shook his head, as if he were just now realizing how drunk he was. "Whazzat?"
Cara showed him the ring. That sobered him up.
"Spirits, Cara. It's about time."
Richard and Cara had met in boot camp, where they'd become fast friends. In fact, he was one of Cara's only friends. She was well-liked enough, but once people saw what she could do with a blade, they tended to steer clear. But Richard, unlike most men, never questioned that he wasn't her type and never asked why she woke up screaming some nights. For his part, he always paid the tab. Apparently he had some money stowed away. Cara never asked why he'd joined the D'Haran army if he had any wealth. That was how their friendship worked.
"Hello, my brave soldiers," Denna drawled, returning from the lavatory to sit on Richard's lap and kiss, as if might've forgotten her, having been left alone with Cara for five minutes. Cara didn't mind the civilian, she took good care of Richard and as nice as he was, he needed someone to take care of him. But she could be a real bitch when she wanted to be, and when Richard wasn't acting as a go-between, they tended to avoid each other. "What'd I miss?"
"Cara and Kahlan are getting married," Richard said.
"Ooh, a wedding. How thrilling."
"We're not—" Cara began. "I'm asking her."
"Best of luck," Denna said, with a smirk like she'd like nothing more than for Kahlan to throw her drink in Cara's face. She's not that bad, Cara reminded herself. If Richard likes her, she can't be that bad.
Cara stood up. She wasn't backing down now, not with Denna watching her. And not with Richard so excited. He clapped her on the back. "Go get 'er, tiger." Cara went, turning the ring over in her hands. "You're a tiger, baby!" Richard called after her.
Cara was so busy looking over her shoulder, giving him her best glare that she ran into Kahlan, jostling the drinks and almost knocking the tray from her hands. "Let me get that," Cara said, taking the tray firmly in hand.
"It's alright, I've got it."
"No, I insist."
Kahlan smiled bashfully, like she always did when Cara asserted herself. She handed the tray to Cara and when the blonde turned to set it down, Cara felt a hand running over her backside. Kahlan did love to wind her up.
"Can I talk to you in private?" Cara asked, unable to keep a bit of smolder out of her eyes, even if this was serious.
"Why, Cara…" Kahlan somehow made her eyes bigger for a few blinks. "What could you have to say to me that you can't say in front of Richard?"
"I wonder," Denna said.
"Really, I need to talk to you. Alone," Cara insisted.
Kahlan's brow furrowed. She nodded. "Okay. Where?"
"Is there anyone out back?"
"Zedd."
"Alright." Cara linked her arm with Kahlan's and led her outside.
A few moments later, Zedd stumbled back inside, rubbing the dirt from where he'd laid down to sleep it off. He sat down in Cara's chair and helped himself to her mug. "Whas happenin'?"
"Cara and Kahlan are getting married," Richard said.
"She hopes," Denna added.
"Oh," Zedd said. "About time."
***
After boot camp, Richard and Cara's regiment had marched to the Hartland Garrison, where they'd gotten to work policing the area. There hadn't been a war since a hundred years before Panis Rahl was born, so that mostly consisted of fixing up bridges and fences, hunting wolves, and burning snake vines. Richard took to it with enthusiasm, while Cara was bored silly. After all the training, the sparring, the speeches, it was disappointing that she didn't even get to take her sword out of its scabbard. For weeks she'd obsessively kept up her training regiment, sharpening her sword, sparring with anyone she could bribe or cajole or trick, and climbing the local mountain from every angle until she could sketch the top from memory.
Richard had persuaded her to sneak out to the village of Hartland when the commander was visiting a brothel across the border. He said the ladies loved a D'Haran in uniform. Unfortunately for Cara, it helped to be a D'Haran man under that uniform, and when Denna had sunk her claws into Richard, she'd wandered alone through the village, wishing she had something to sharpen.
Kahlan had found her and invited her to dance at a little get-together behind the school where she worked. It'd taken a while for Cara to believe that such a woman could be interested in her. Kahlan was beautiful, her homespun gowns elevated into the finest silk just by touching her, her smile infectious, her laughter heavenly. It'd taken a few dances for Cara to trust that this wasn't some cruel joke or attack, but that Kahlan was honestly interested in her. They'd parted quickly when Richard ran by, throwing on his shirt and telling her that they had to get back, the commander had finished early.
Cara had promised to see Kahlan again. She'd kept her promise.
Every time leave came, Cara marched into the village and Kahlan was waiting right there at the gate, to take her by the arm and tell her all the latest gossip, show her some entertaining new facet of rural life. After a month, Kahlan had run up to her, and Cara had just… kissed her. They'd hardly gotten to the bed when Kahlan retaliated, taking off Cara's uniform with an efficiency that suggested she'd pondered it lots.
"I love a girl in uniform," she'd said.
It was the best leave ever.
But after a year of stomping the city limits of Hartland into submission with marches and slaying the occasional gar, Cara's tour was ending. She'd always thought to re-enlist, be a career soldier, have her own regiment some day, but Kahlan had changed everything. Even if she could get assigned to Hartland again, Cara was chafing at being separated from Kahlan for days at a time. She needed the schoolteacher like she needed water, there whenever she needed it, ready to quench her thirst or wash her if she were feeling dirty.
So, for the past few weeks, she'd enlisted Richard in a secret mission. Every leave, they'd stall Kahlan and spend some time investigating the work in Hartland. Cara had some aptitude for the smithy, which was basically sharpening things on a very large scale. And she was good at teaching – at least, the getting-children-to-sit-down-and-shut-up part.
She'd needed the orphanage. She'd needed the army. But now, all she needed was Kahlan.
And she was going to say as much.
Spirits, she wished she had actually taken a drink before going outside.
"What's so important?" Kahlan asked, toying briefly with her neckline just in case Cara had wanted to get her alone for more nefarious (read: sexy) reasons.
Cara gathered herself. Closed her eyes for a moment and pretended someone had given her a direct order to marry Kahlan. Someone other than her heart. (Spirits, that was cheesy.)
"Kahlan," Cara began, a very good start if the person you were talking to was named Kahlan. She put her hands on Kahlan's shoulders and sat her down, just in case she tried to bolt before Cara was finished. "I think we should get married and I've compiled a list of reasons why."
"Reasons why we should get married?" Kahlan repeated.
Cara nodded. This was working out well. "Number one. I'd be willing to kill just about anything for you. So if there were a gar trying to eat you, I'd be there to kill it. Since… if we were married. Number two! I'm very good at hunting. You wouldn't have to worry about food. Number three. In bed, I'd let you do anything. I do mean anything. Number four. I take orders very well—"
"Stop talking, you…" Kahlan hugged her. "Yes! Of course I'll marry you! I love you!"
"That was reason seven," Cara said numbly. It'd worked. It'd worked!
Kahlan kissed her cheeks. Then her lips. Finally, her neck. "Does this mean we can't fool around?"
Cara smiled. "In fact, where I'm from, it's traditional to celebrate engagement by fooling around."
"And we are traditionalists."
"Very traditional," Cara agreed, shucking off her chainmail.
***
Some time later… no, I mean, like a while later… they walked back into the tavern. Upon seeing the ring on Kahlan's finger (and the hickey on her neck), Richard jumped up on the table and said. "Alright! Drinks are on the house!"
"Really?" Cara asked. It didn't seem like that big a deal. Of course Kahlan would want to marry her. She was very marriageable.
"No, actually we got bored and already had a round for everyone. But now we know it wasn't wasted!"
Denna successfully tugged Richard back down. "Well. Doesn't it just seem like everyone's getting married all of a sudden?"
"Yes," Cara agreed, smiling. "It does, doesn't it?"
Richard glared at her as Denna fawningly buried herself in his armpit.
Cara and Kahlan will return in… Hen Night!
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 03:38 pm (UTC)Hilarious: "In fact, where I'm from, it's traditional to celebrate engagement by fooling around."
"And we are traditionalists."
"Very traditional,"
Recc'd by Seekers!
Date: 2010-06-25 04:11 pm (UTC)Seekers of Fic is a new LJ community whose aim is to bring together Recs for all the best LotS fic in one place.
You can see your Rec here: http://community.livejournal.com/reccseekers/2334.html
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 04:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 05:06 pm (UTC)"...I've compiled a list of reasons..." - LMAO (and the reasons she gives too!)
Can't wait for the hen night, somehow I don't see it being a quiet drink in with a few friends...
no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 07:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 08:38 pm (UTC)*giant grin* oh I loved this. thankyouthankyouthankyou. it has been too long since i smiled today. but now? happy me.
*squishes*
no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 08:42 pm (UTC)Reason number one lmao
no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 09:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 11:39 pm (UTC)i love how reason 7 was the fact that she loved her :D
trust cara to put anything to do with killing as number 1!
no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 12:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 01:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 04:00 pm (UTC)I loved the "sharpening things on a larger scale," nearly died laughing.
Thanks for the happy one, it was great!
no subject
Date: 2010-07-03 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-12 11:25 pm (UTC)