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seriousficIn other news, CLARK KENT HAS BEEN INSIDE LOIS LANE AND HE'S STILL NOT SUPERMAN. I mean, Jesus, show, go stand in the corner and think about what you've done. Also, I know there isn't a formal guide to this, but it might be polite to let a woman know your secret identity at some point. What if Zod decided he was going to ruin Clark's day and kill his gal pal? Doesn't Lois deserve to know the risks? Does Clark not trust Lois? Is she good enough to fuck but not good enough to share the secret with Chloe, Ollie, and the entire Justice League? Come on.
***
And no sooner have I written that then Zod poses as the Blur to get Lois to do his bidding. Which would never have happened if Clark had just been trusting and honest. Way to go, oh Man of Tomorrow. Thanks for making world domination just a little bit easier.
***
Clark and Lois go to a bed and breakfast to have sex for the first time and make a big production of it. Ollie and Chloe like each other, so they have sex, and they go to a bed and breakfast to have more sex, because they are goddamn adults.
***
Chloe: I'm not in a relationship with Ollie. We're just having fun. It's just sex. Meaningless, hot, sweaty sex. What's the big deal with that?
Ghost of Davis Bloom: MOTHERFUUUU--!
***
Oh God, how can I describe Smallville Silver Banshee? I was perfectly fine with her just being a CGI effect that possessed people - that had a modicum of effectiveness to it - but to fight Clark, she turns into this... glam rock... girl Bigfoot... leg warmers... Jem is truly outrageous, truly truly truly outrageous! Also, Scottish accent.
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Clark tries to BURN HIS WAY THROUGH Silver Banshee's lethal voice. Yes, with heatvision. He tries to incinerate sound. Now, Clark's faster than the speed of sound, right? Why doesn't he just go around it? Is he literally so stupid that he charges the deadly sonic blast head-on? Yes. Yes, he absolutely is. In fact, he's so stupid that he thinks SOUND. BURNS.
There's stupid and then there's stupid and then there's Avatar and then there's Clark!
***
And no sooner have I written that then Zod poses as the Blur to get Lois to do his bidding. Which would never have happened if Clark had just been trusting and honest. Way to go, oh Man of Tomorrow. Thanks for making world domination just a little bit easier.
***
Clark and Lois go to a bed and breakfast to have sex for the first time and make a big production of it. Ollie and Chloe like each other, so they have sex, and they go to a bed and breakfast to have more sex, because they are goddamn adults.
***
Chloe: I'm not in a relationship with Ollie. We're just having fun. It's just sex. Meaningless, hot, sweaty sex. What's the big deal with that?
Ghost of Davis Bloom: MOTHERFUUUU--!
***
Oh God, how can I describe Smallville Silver Banshee? I was perfectly fine with her just being a CGI effect that possessed people - that had a modicum of effectiveness to it - but to fight Clark, she turns into this... glam rock... girl Bigfoot... leg warmers... Jem is truly outrageous, truly truly truly outrageous! Also, Scottish accent.
***
Clark tries to BURN HIS WAY THROUGH Silver Banshee's lethal voice. Yes, with heatvision. He tries to incinerate sound. Now, Clark's faster than the speed of sound, right? Why doesn't he just go around it? Is he literally so stupid that he charges the deadly sonic blast head-on? Yes. Yes, he absolutely is. In fact, he's so stupid that he thinks SOUND. BURNS.
There's stupid and then there's stupid and then there's Avatar and then there's Clark!
