Wonder Woman and the closet: Strangers

[seriousfic]

Have you ever had a plot development strike you like lightning out of the blue?

Your story is puttering along in one direction, nicely following the road map you laid out at the beginning of the trip, when suddenly you see a detour and the plot (which is a notorious backseat driver) starts saying "Oooh, oooh, the world's largest ball of twine, let's go see it, canwe-canwe-canwe?" And you just have to say yes because, hey, it's the world's largest ball of twine.

I was at work today, contentedly writing a Batman-Joker action scene (this is the second Batman longfic I've written with Bruno as the Joker's henchmanperson. I swear, seriousfic is not to Nazi transsexuals as box_in_the_box is to MILFs) when it occurred to me... what if someone took pictures of the tryst Diana had with Kory and Donna and posted them online (shut up, it's a valid question. What else am I gonna think about, who would win in a fight between Spider-Man and Superman? Spidey, of course, once he mixed up some Kryptonite webbing...)?

Well, Kory would probably want to know what the big deal was since on her world blah blah no-sexuality-taboo-cakes, Donna would freak and Diana would be okay with people seeing her naked, depending on the circumstances. Makes sense for her to be a fan of art, erotica, and boobies the female form, given her background. Of course, all three of them would want to knock around photographer dude for invading their privacy, but at least one of them would say "You could've just asked."

Then I thought, what if someone broke into the Themysciran Embassy's safe and stole the sex tape Dinah and Diana made in Girlfriend? Say... President Luthor (it's set during Greg Rucka's run on Wonder Woman) pulling a Watergate to try to find something incriminating. And then trying to blackmail Diana with it?

Further thought: I'd been treating Diana's bisexuality the way fandom usually treats bisexuality. "They get to have sex with hot people of the same sex, but otherwise everything is exactly the same as canon." Perfectly reasonable, given that writing a cogent gay Bruce Wayne (or anybody) would be outside the scope of most fics. ("My parents are DEAAAAAD!... and I like COOOOOCK!") But if Diana were bisexual, what the hell reason would she have to be coy about it?

Think about it. In canon, Diana is straight but a supporter of gay rights. Now, what could be a bigger support than knowing that the female superhero is LGBT? Canonically, she's straight and she wouldn't lie, but in an AU where she's bisexual?

In my personal fanon, Diana lost her virginity growing up on Themyscira (I know, I know, "we're all her mother," but there were a couple thousand Amazons on Paradise Island and she couldn't have known all of them growing up), thus avoiding an undue emphasis on who deflowered her when she came to Man’s World, if at all, and then... what? She comes to Man's World, and as Perez's naive stranger-in-a-strange-land, perhaps talks with Julia Kapatelis. Diana gets the memo that Man’s World can be… touchy about this sort of thing and decides that the Mission comes first, she’ll just not talk about it ("No comment, no comment."), and after the world has stopped being so hung up on bloodshed, then she can get to work on equal rights.

Time passes, and Diana matures (I kinda hate the common criticism that every writer portrays Diana as a different character, when clearly she’s going through a character arc from young woman to big goddamn heroine. Note how lately she’s become a mentor to Cassie and others), and when the issue is pulled back into her attention… well, why should she give the impression she’s ashamed of it. True, it’s her personal business, but she’s not going to hide. She was the goddess of truth, for Christ’s sake! The same way she wouldn’t deceive by keeping a secret identity (Heinberg, Picoult), she wouldn’t lie by omission when the benefits of coming out of the closet (giving hope and inspirations to tens, perhaps hundreds, of millions) far outweigh the negatives (bigots wouldn’t like her).

And, of course, Barbara would be totally passive-aggressive about the whole thing, because Dinah is her hetero life partner and got punk’d on Diana’s watch, so grrrrrr.

Also, I think it would be awesome if Diana’s response to “do as we say or we’ll out you to the world” was to appear on the cover of every gay magazine on newsstands, find the high school the blackmailer’s kids attend and give a speech about tolerance in the gym, then (for good measure) start flying couples to Themyscira in her invisible jet to perform gay marriages. I mean, what about that is not badass?

Comments

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

I heartily endorse this event or product.

And I seem to have developed a reputation ...

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

There are worse things you could have a reputation for.

Peter Parker pecker parody.

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

Heh.

Shhh ... ;)

[bradygirl_12]

Sounds like a good idea to me! ;)

[bluefall.livejournal.com]

Huh. You know, the idea of Diana "coming out" at all is just totally alien to me. I've always just sort of assumed that everyone has always known. I mean, she's an amazon, and it's never been a secret that amazons have relationships with each other, at least not Perez-era and beyond. Even if she were straight, half the world would assume she were a lesbian anyway (much like the fanbase, actually). There's probably a tabloid a week about how she's getting into Catwoman's cream or having loveboat liaisons with Angelina Jolie or whatever.

To me, yeah, the only question is, at what point do the categories of "gay" and "straight" and "bi" actually sink in with her (considering her culture and its parent culture, I doubt she even had any concept of that kind of category before leaving home), and at what point after that does she realize what her power as a symbol could do for the LGBTs of the world. Because that's the absolute last moment that she lets it remain a question for anybody.

Though I don't think she'd out herself in a way that gave the idea of "outing" any dignity. I'm seeing her doing an interview with Lois and casually mentioning a past lover from Themyscira in those terms, and Lois going, "uh, that was on the record, right?" and then just casually inserting it into her article, and then they sit back and watch the avalanche start, and both of them just act completely astonished if anyone asks them about it. "What, you didn't know? Don't you read the Enquirer?"

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Huh. You know, the idea of Diana "coming out" at all is just totally alien to me. I've always just sort of assumed that everyone has always known. I mean, she's an amazon, and it's never been a secret that amazons have relationships with each other, at least not Perez-era and beyond.

Well, yeah, but I remember Diana saying that some Amazons were celibate and some of them were chronic masturbators (except Diana called it "the way of Narcissus," which is FTW) and some of them were, yeah, into each other. So the straight Amazon would be possible.

So, it's kinda the difference between everyone going "Tom Cruise is gay!" and Tom Cruise taking his boyfriend to the premiere of Mission: Impossible 4.

There's probably a tabloid a week about how she's getting into Catwoman's cream or having loveboat liaisons with Angelina Jolie or whatever.

Canonically, the tabloids are all about Diana and Kal-El in the Lovenest of Solitude. Because DC is no fun.

Because that's the absolute last moment that she lets it remain a question for anybody.

I could see Diana not rushing into anything, and giving her friends/co-workers some heads-up. She definitely would want the embassy to be ready for a publicity blitz and she wouldn't want Cassie to have a million reporters in her face going "are you Wonder Woman's underage mistress"? So, maybe twenty-four hours, then it's on like Donkey Kong.

Though I don't think she'd out herself in a way that gave the idea of "outing" any dignity.

Well, it's a question of "Wonder Woman" in a fight versus "Princess Diana" advancing her mission of peace. If someone tries to blackmail her, she'll make it clear that this aggression won't stand. But if it's just her, Princess Diana, then she might just make an entry on her blog or whatever.

On a sidenote, I don't think there's anyone in the world who wouldn't want to read Princess Diana's blog. I'd imagine it would be a mix of social activism, cultural enrichment, media reviews, and which monster she punched in the face today.

[bluefall.livejournal.com]

Canonically, the tabloids are all about Diana and Kal-El in the Lovenest of Solitude.

The ones we see. Although one of the problems with that is that Diana pretty much *doesn't have*, you know, friends. Clark seems to be just about the only person she's consistently spent casual time with and expressed significant affection for since the reboot. Canon pays lip service to Diana's friendship with Dinah, for example, but hell if we ever actually see it. She and J'onn seemed really close during Kelly's JLA run, but they've never even had shared panel time outside of that. Etta might as well not have been rebooted, considering she was basically either useless, jealous or completely absent for the whole of volume 2. So, who else aside from Superman are the DCU tabloids gonna ship her with? I can only conclude that Diana has a lot of social behavior that's completely off-panel, and there's a lot of gossip about it in the wider cape-chasing DCU that's also off-panel.

and she wouldn't want Cassie to have a million reporters in her face going "are you Wonder Woman's underage mistress"?

Goddamnit, not you too. This is not helping me to not write that Diana/Cassie fic.

Well, it's a question of "Wonder Woman" in a fight versus "Princess Diana" advancing her mission of peace. If someone tries to blackmail her, she'll make it clear that this aggression won't stand. But if it's just her, Princess Diana, then she might just make an entry on her blog or whatever.

Well, sure, but I can't see it getting to that point, y'know? Either it's so early in her career that she doesn't quite get it yet, and she just furrows her brow and says, "okay, um, you go ahead and tell everyone I sleep with women, then. While you're at it, mention that my favorite color is white," or it's past the point when she understands why that's a threat and so she's already basically out to anyone who cares (including the public).

Hm. Actually, that depends on how autonomously she's been running her mission. Suppose Myndi Mayer sits her down one day early in the campaign and tells her "look, honey, I know you don't understand why, but trust me, if this gets out it will hurt your cause immeasurably." Which Myndi absolutely would, and actually at that point she'd probably be right. And if she ever talked to, say, Clark or Bruce about it, they'd probably reinforce that idea pretty strongly. And of course Diana's got no regular exposure to what it really means to *be* gay in Man's World. So quite possibly that moment of realization of what she could and should mean to people by coming out *would* be a long time in coming. It might take something like attempted blackmail or a conversation with a runaway gay kid or whatever to make her go back and reevaluate Myndi and her friends' advice.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Clark seems to be just about the only person she's consistently spent casual time with and expressed significant affection for since the reboot. ... I can only conclude that Diana has a lot of social behavior that's completely off-panel, and there's a lot of gossip about it in the wider cape-chasing DCU that's also off-panel.

Well, there is Artemis, tho I imagine her reaction to being "Wonder Woman's girlfriend" would be lolarious.

Artemis: Look at this! "Wonder Woman's girlfriend comes back from the dead!"

Diana: Well, we do have sex.

Artemis: Missing the point!

Goddamnit, not you too. This is not helping me to not write that Diana/Cassie fic.

I can't imagine it happening any time after Kon died, which would be one of those times comfort doesn't involve sex, but like, a-year-plus after when Cassie is moving on and realizing she's attracted to girls and like "hey, Diana, could we, like, get some coffee?" Diana would be all about the ushering age-of-consenting Cassie into womanhood.

Actually, that depends on how autonomously she's been running her mission. Suppose Myndi Mayer sits her down one day early in the campaign and tells her "look, honey, I know you don't understand why, but trust me, if this gets out it will hurt your cause immeasurably." Which Myndi absolutely would, and actually at that point she'd probably be right. And if she ever talked to, say, Clark or Bruce about it, they'd probably reinforce that idea pretty strongly. And of course Diana's got no regular exposure to what it really means to *be* gay in Man's World. So quite possibly that moment of realization of what she could and should mean to people by coming out *would* be a long time in coming. It might take something like attempted blackmail or a conversation with a runaway gay kid or whatever to make her go back and reevaluate Myndi and her friends' advice.

Exactly. It'd be one of those things that she just doesn't examine, is stagnant about, but when she stops to think about it she's like *facepalm*. The same way Barbara Gordon is Batgirl until there's a paradigm shift and she realizes she'd be much more effective as Oracle.

Like writing a book. That'd be a pretty obvious step for most of us in changing the world, getting the manifesto out there and in a form that you could put it on your desk and refer to it, but it takes her a while to learn the tricks of the Man's World trade.

[bluefall.livejournal.com]

Exactly. It'd be one of those things that she just doesn't examine, is stagnant about, but when she stops to think about it she's like *facepalm*.

See, I like to think she's more proactive than that - d'you suppose Matthew Shepard happened in the DCU? Because if it did, that was '98, she'd have been around for the fallout - but it's certainly plausible. She is a very busy woman, after all, and she and her whole circle are privileged as hell. It would be easy for that to slip under her radar most of the time.

I can't imagine it happening any time after Kon died, which would be one of those times comfort doesn't involve sex, but like, a-year-plus after when Cassie is moving on and realizing she's attracted to girls and like "hey, Diana, could we, like, get some coffee?" Diana would be all about the ushering age-of-consenting Cassie into womanhood.

Oh, no, no, that I would just write and be done with it. No, this plotbunny is creepy shota 16-year-old Cassie in fine eromenos/erastes Greek tradition. Because I can't, apparently, resist a challenge. Someone shoot me before I start writing 'cest.

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Someone shoot me before I start writing 'cest.

Would Diana/Hippolyta even count as 'cest? Because they're not blood-related so much as, uhhh, clay-related.

[lurkslikefox.livejournal.com]

"My parents are DEAAAAAD!... and I like COOOOOCK!"

If they have that in the new Batman film I might just have to start sacrificing people in the holy name of Christopher Nolan just to work off some of my love and gratitude. As I don't want to end up in jail, it's a good thing that this is highly unlikely. But then again, Harvey Dent is in it... it could be the start of an epic and doomed romance...

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

If they have that in the new Batman film I might just have to start sacrificing people in the holy name of Christopher Nolan just to work off some of my love and gratitude.

Bruce: People are dying. What would you have me do?

Alfred: Anal.

[lurkslikefox.livejournal.com]

You have broke my mind.

Though I was wondering earlier why I haven't seen more Alfred/Bruce fics. After all, if Bruce can sex up his underage ward, why not Alfred?

[ash-in-your-eye.livejournal.com]

First: a world of yes.

Second: I need to acquire some mad icon making skills. cuz I kind of need a wonder woman icon that says " big goddamn heroine"

Third: i now want to see someone write a fic in the form of a week in WW's life as seen from her blog posts.