seriousfic

No, don't skip this, plebeians who have not yet experienced the awe and majesty of Legend of the Seeker. There will be Barda. And lesbians. Oh, yes, I thought you'd be sticking around.

So I'm sure many who've watched LotS have wondered "Where does Terry Goodkind get his ideas?" As have those who've read the books, although they're more like "Jesus Christ." But the question remains. Ideas. Terry Goodkind's. Where do they come from?

Besides that!

For instance, in LotS, the evil Darken Rahl commands a force of bisexual dominatrix assassin women, one of whom turns good. Coincidentally, in DC comics, the evil Darkseid commands a force of (occasionally) bisexual dominatrix (occasionally--Lashina FTW) assassin women, one of whom turns good.

Could it be that the Female Furies and the Mord'Sith are the same? Let's examine some compelling and sexy photographic evidence.

Fetishistic red outfit?

Check. (Richard thinks Kahlan should make love not war too.)

Evil overlord?

Check.

(I think the Mord'Sith got the better end of that deal. Anti-Life does NOT justify a lack of pants, Darkseid!)

Phallic symbolism?

Oh, you better believe that's a check. (Helena seems very... excited by the size of Barda's Mega-Rod, doesn't she?)

Bondage fun times?

(Barda: It's just the right size!)

Scott: :D!

Richard: D:!

Communal bathing?

Check. But a hundred howling Female Furies and only two Mord'Sith bath girls? Cara, you're slacking off.

Always the dom?

Check. Although Scott knows you should always appreciate a climb on Mt. Barda, savoring it like a fine wine.

Scott Free: Going to be ravished BRB!

Imminent violence? :D!

Neither Mord'Sith nor Female Furies have time for your bullshit. They do have time for BOSOMRY.

Speaking of which, really, really, really gratuitous nudity?

Check... in my pants.

And most importantly, GOGA?

Check and check.

But wait. If Cara is Big Barda, who is Kahlan?

It makes so much sense now...

So, Mistress Cara, wherever you are in the Midlands, keep an eye out for some young escape artist who dresses like a Mexican wrestler. After all, he'll take good care of your Mega-Rod!