Why I will not be attending any family reunions over the next 20 years.

[seriousfic]

So I have a medium Double Dave's pizza in the fridge. It is basically the God of pizzas, or at least an angel of pizzas (God would probably be a Big Dave's Buffalo Chicken Pizza with a side of pepperoni rolls). I leave it in overnight, clearly marked as mine by two post-its (one on the inside, to cleverly say "You didn't read the first one, did ya, you tubby commie?"). When I wake up, it's half gone. So I take some to work for lunch, leaving three pieces, and when I get back? One piece left.

My dad is, of course, outraged. After all, I did use the word "bastards" to describe the person or persons responsible for Grand Theft Pizza. He's not used to such salty language. He used to be in the Army.

Comments

[distractedone.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I know how it feels. I get food stolen from me all the time.

The_Lurker

[(Anonymous)]

My dad always, ALWAYS, tries to take food from my plate when i eat something, and not just at meal time either! It's like he got a Goddam Food Detector in is ass or something. It's like he can't help it or something! Urgh! That's why i don't do family meals, less dead bodies for me to bury afterward, Lol.