Is Doira Baird the new Megan Fox?

[seriousfic]

I only ask because these are some of her Tweets.

* I guess I “mock” myself then. And by “mock” I mean “make love to”.

* I am a human masturbatory aid. Dream #14, check.

* Im happy to pop your cherry.

* Im always here with a dildo joke.

* Watch me jiggle my boobs at http://bit.ly/13Tm29 I know, Im quite the intellectual.

* Girl:’Can I have your autograph?’ Me:’Sure’(as Im signing) Oh, wait. Thats not my vagina’. It was Kristy Swasnsons’! Does my vagina look 40?

* Yeah, poop is the best odor. Gonna start a perfume line called ‘Ass’.

* Just saw a movie and I’m almost positive the old man sitting next to me shat himself.

* Thanks! I would love as many pantless followers as possible.

* A new strain of HIV was found in a woman in Paris. It came from a gorilla. People! Enough with the monkey f-cking already! Goats are better.

That's funnier than anything Jack Black has done for, like, five years. I love a woman with a sense of humor. And by sense of humor, I of course mean tit-tays (French for breasts).

Comments

[distractedone.livejournal.com]

I <3 Diora Baird. She looks awesome as a blonde.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

You might wanna warn your faithful readers that safesearch is off in that last link.

On the other hand, anyone who actually clicks a link called "titties" at work is probably too stupid to be using the Internet anyway.

Unless they work in porn.

Then it's okay.