Fic: But I'm A Batgirl! (Batman)
Mar. 14th, 2008 09:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seriousficTitle: But I'm A Batgirl!
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Cass/Steph, Batman, Oracle
Word Count: 1,261
Summary: Cass is on crutches and bored, and with Batgirl benched, Steph tries to distract her with their first out-of-costume date. Taken from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
greeneyelove's OTP challenge.
Cass’s knee was swollen and purple, every movement of it causing the Batgirl to curl her lip in pain. And it was moved more than a little as Alfred bandaged it, Steph hovering about in a state of distress at least twice that of Cass.
“Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod, this is all my fault!” she wailed, fists clenched to mouth. “I told you to break a leg and you did!”
“I am not stupid,” Cass said, tripping a little over the verb. “I know it’s colloquialism.”
“No, no, it’s just a saying people use!”
Alfred coughed haughtily as he fetched a pair of crutches from one of the Batcave’s nooks. When he returned, Steph was vined around Cass; her boots, mask, and cloak had joined Cass’s mask, cape, and utility belt on the floor. Cass was relenting, with some obvious trepidation, to Steph’s comforting. It seemed to mainly consist of rubbing her back.
“God, you’re so tense. You’re never going to heal if you don’t chill out. It’s Zen, you should know this.”
“Don’t like being touched.”
“You seemed to like it last night.”
Batman cleared his throat, surprising even Alfred (who’d been slinking away). In fright, Steph squooshed Cass against her with a protective squeak. Alfred could see the beginnings of a headache in his master’s eyes.
“Cassandra, are you alright?”
Cass nodded as she detangled herself from Steph.
“Good. I’ll be calling Tim back from the Titans early to cover your patrols. Steph will help as well.”
“What ‘bout me?”
“You’ll be grounded until your leg heals. You can stay with Barbara, she has experience in caring for our people.”
“You mean Nightwing?” Steph asked. “Hey, Cass, wouldn’t it be funny if Barbara fell in love with you while you recuperated and you two started making out like she always does with Dick? Only don’t do that, cuz I’d get jealous.”
“Buh-but I am Batgirl!”
“Not right now.”
“I never thought I’d say this, but Batman’s right. You need some R&R.”
“But I’m Batgirl!”
“I know you are, sweetie. But right now you have to be Cass Cain, okay?”
Cass knew that saying she was Batgirl wouldn’t help her the third time anymore than it had the first two. But even as she went to sleep that night, the note of protest kept running through her head. But I’m Batgirl.
***
No sooner had Steph gotten out of school than her cell phone rang. When she answered it, the voice on the other end was all electronic and creepy, like a possessed Speak ‘n’ Spell.
“Hey Miss Barbara!”
“Oracle, it’s Oracle!”
“Right Oracle. Hey, are you calling because you need me to go on a mission with Dinah and Helena?”
“Sigh. No, it's about Ca—Batgirl.”
“What about her?”
“She’s just been sitting on the couch, staring at the TV all day long. It’s creepy.”
“What’s so creepy about that?”
“The TV isn’t turned on.”
“Oh. I’ll be right over.”
***
“Hey, Cass!” Steph shouted as she bounded onto the couch beside her girlfriend. Cass gave a grouchy moan and turned away. “Hey, you wanna watch some TV? Probably can’t figure out the remote, huh? Miss Barbara probably has one of those remotes that could launch the space shuttle.”
“No. Teevee lies.”
Steph all-foured closer to Cass. “You’ve been watching Fox News?”
“People say one thing with bodies, another with words. Confusing.”
“Oh. That’s called acting. Guess it doesn’t work too well if you can read body language.” Steph smiled. Cass had the blank look of unamused incomprehension. "They’re pretending. Like when you put on the Batgirl costume and pretend—“
“I am Batgirl!” Cass cried.
“Everything okay in here?” Barbara asked, sitting in the doorway with maternal concern.
“Yeah. Cass just needs s’more painkillers.”
“Doesn’t hurt,” Cass insisted sullenly.
“I’ve got an idea. Steph, since Cass doesn’t have anything else to do but stay here and creep me out, why don’t you take her out on a date?”
"Yeah!”
“You want to take me out on a raisin? We won’t fit!”
***
Steph got back an hour later, dressed in her best date clothes: mini-skirt, blouse, spaghetti strap sandals, and pearls as big as jawbreakers, technically less than real. She was spinning her mom’s car keys around her finger with ineffable smugness.
“Got my mom to loan me the car. If she asks, by the way, you’re a medical student named Raul and your dad’s a lawyer. Are you going to wear that?”
Cass looked down at her clothes; gray sweatpants and a white tanktop tanned maroon in places by faded bloodstains. “Batman took my costume,” she explained in a morose voice.
“Well, you have other clothes, right?”
Cass reached into her suitcase and pulled out her Teensy Titans pajamas.
“Not that you wouldn’t look adorable in those, but I think the first stop on our date should be the mall for some clothes-shopping.”
***
The mall was, for lack of a better term, a festering swamp of humanity. There were so many people and their bodies were all shouting gibberish. Steph had an arm around her, though, and the arm was telling her You’ll be okay, I’ll protect you, no one will hurt you, you’re with me.
The clothing store was even weirder than the mall. There were women trying on clothes and asking do you still think I’m attractive? and the men were panicking and saying please don’t hurt me. Steph found some clothes she liked and told Cass to try them on. She said they were “tight.” Cass hoped they wouldn’t constrain her movements.
She tried them on in front of Steph until one made Steph go let’s make babies and Cass said “I like this one.” Steph bought it with a credit card she’d borrowed from Tim because he was a rich bitch girl and he could rely on the old man’s money. Steph was wise about these things.
Then Steph gave Cass her iPod and played “romantic montage” music. They went to Lake Gotham and played on the beach, but they didn’t swim because the toxic spill was still being cleaned up. Then they went to a carnival where Steph won her a stuffed animal after three tries, but they got kicked out when Cass beat up a clown. So they went to a comedy club where a lesbian comic was playing (“We’re baby dykes,” Steph said proudly). Everything went fine until they brought Butchy the Lesbian Clown out.
They ended up parked on the roof of a car park, lying on the hood of Steph’s mom’s car.
“I miss rooftop tag,” Cass said.
“We’ll do it again, soon as you get better.”
“Don’t stop loving me.”
“What!?” Steph exclaimed, sitting up.
“Because I’m not Batgirl anymore.”
“Why would that matter?”
“Because without Batgirl, I’m nothing. She’s who I am.”
“Sweetie, c’mere.”
“Batgirl has a home and friends and plays rooftop tag with Spoiler. Cass Cain is a runaway wanted for murder. I don’t wanna be her again.”
“But she’s… God, this is confusing… you’re what I love about you. Not Batgirl. That’s just the package you come in or whatever.”
“You… don’t care if I’m Batgirl?”
“Nope!”
“Oh,” Cass said simply. “Because sometimes I like not being Batgirl. Like right now.”
“I didn’t know my mom’s car had that much lumbar support.”
“Not car.” Cass rolled on top of Steph. “You.”
“Are you gonna kiss me now?” Steph asked, breathless.
With tongue, as it turned out.
“I’m so glad you’re not Batgirl right now,” Steph said. Then, off Cass’s confused look: “No mouthhole.”
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Cass/Steph, Batman, Oracle
Word Count: 1,261
Summary: Cass is on crutches and bored, and with Batgirl benched, Steph tries to distract her with their first out-of-costume date. Taken from
greeneyelove's OTP challenge.Cass’s knee was swollen and purple, every movement of it causing the Batgirl to curl her lip in pain. And it was moved more than a little as Alfred bandaged it, Steph hovering about in a state of distress at least twice that of Cass.
“Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod, this is all my fault!” she wailed, fists clenched to mouth. “I told you to break a leg and you did!”
“I am not stupid,” Cass said, tripping a little over the verb. “I know it’s colloquialism.”
“No, no, it’s just a saying people use!”
Alfred coughed haughtily as he fetched a pair of crutches from one of the Batcave’s nooks. When he returned, Steph was vined around Cass; her boots, mask, and cloak had joined Cass’s mask, cape, and utility belt on the floor. Cass was relenting, with some obvious trepidation, to Steph’s comforting. It seemed to mainly consist of rubbing her back.
“God, you’re so tense. You’re never going to heal if you don’t chill out. It’s Zen, you should know this.”
“Don’t like being touched.”
“You seemed to like it last night.”
Batman cleared his throat, surprising even Alfred (who’d been slinking away). In fright, Steph squooshed Cass against her with a protective squeak. Alfred could see the beginnings of a headache in his master’s eyes.
“Cassandra, are you alright?”
Cass nodded as she detangled herself from Steph.
“Good. I’ll be calling Tim back from the Titans early to cover your patrols. Steph will help as well.”
“What ‘bout me?”
“You’ll be grounded until your leg heals. You can stay with Barbara, she has experience in caring for our people.”
“You mean Nightwing?” Steph asked. “Hey, Cass, wouldn’t it be funny if Barbara fell in love with you while you recuperated and you two started making out like she always does with Dick? Only don’t do that, cuz I’d get jealous.”
“Buh-but I am Batgirl!”
“Not right now.”
“I never thought I’d say this, but Batman’s right. You need some R&R.”
“But I’m Batgirl!”
“I know you are, sweetie. But right now you have to be Cass Cain, okay?”
Cass knew that saying she was Batgirl wouldn’t help her the third time anymore than it had the first two. But even as she went to sleep that night, the note of protest kept running through her head. But I’m Batgirl.
***
No sooner had Steph gotten out of school than her cell phone rang. When she answered it, the voice on the other end was all electronic and creepy, like a possessed Speak ‘n’ Spell.
“Hey Miss Barbara!”
“Oracle, it’s Oracle!”
“Right Oracle. Hey, are you calling because you need me to go on a mission with Dinah and Helena?”
“Sigh. No, it's about Ca—Batgirl.”
“What about her?”
“She’s just been sitting on the couch, staring at the TV all day long. It’s creepy.”
“What’s so creepy about that?”
“The TV isn’t turned on.”
“Oh. I’ll be right over.”
***
“Hey, Cass!” Steph shouted as she bounded onto the couch beside her girlfriend. Cass gave a grouchy moan and turned away. “Hey, you wanna watch some TV? Probably can’t figure out the remote, huh? Miss Barbara probably has one of those remotes that could launch the space shuttle.”
“No. Teevee lies.”
Steph all-foured closer to Cass. “You’ve been watching Fox News?”
“People say one thing with bodies, another with words. Confusing.”
“Oh. That’s called acting. Guess it doesn’t work too well if you can read body language.” Steph smiled. Cass had the blank look of unamused incomprehension. "They’re pretending. Like when you put on the Batgirl costume and pretend—“
“I am Batgirl!” Cass cried.
“Everything okay in here?” Barbara asked, sitting in the doorway with maternal concern.
“Yeah. Cass just needs s’more painkillers.”
“Doesn’t hurt,” Cass insisted sullenly.
“I’ve got an idea. Steph, since Cass doesn’t have anything else to do but stay here and creep me out, why don’t you take her out on a date?”
"Yeah!”
“You want to take me out on a raisin? We won’t fit!”
***
Steph got back an hour later, dressed in her best date clothes: mini-skirt, blouse, spaghetti strap sandals, and pearls as big as jawbreakers, technically less than real. She was spinning her mom’s car keys around her finger with ineffable smugness.
“Got my mom to loan me the car. If she asks, by the way, you’re a medical student named Raul and your dad’s a lawyer. Are you going to wear that?”
Cass looked down at her clothes; gray sweatpants and a white tanktop tanned maroon in places by faded bloodstains. “Batman took my costume,” she explained in a morose voice.
“Well, you have other clothes, right?”
Cass reached into her suitcase and pulled out her Teensy Titans pajamas.
“Not that you wouldn’t look adorable in those, but I think the first stop on our date should be the mall for some clothes-shopping.”
***
The mall was, for lack of a better term, a festering swamp of humanity. There were so many people and their bodies were all shouting gibberish. Steph had an arm around her, though, and the arm was telling her You’ll be okay, I’ll protect you, no one will hurt you, you’re with me.
The clothing store was even weirder than the mall. There were women trying on clothes and asking do you still think I’m attractive? and the men were panicking and saying please don’t hurt me. Steph found some clothes she liked and told Cass to try them on. She said they were “tight.” Cass hoped they wouldn’t constrain her movements.
She tried them on in front of Steph until one made Steph go let’s make babies and Cass said “I like this one.” Steph bought it with a credit card she’d borrowed from Tim because he was a rich bitch girl and he could rely on the old man’s money. Steph was wise about these things.
Then Steph gave Cass her iPod and played “romantic montage” music. They went to Lake Gotham and played on the beach, but they didn’t swim because the toxic spill was still being cleaned up. Then they went to a carnival where Steph won her a stuffed animal after three tries, but they got kicked out when Cass beat up a clown. So they went to a comedy club where a lesbian comic was playing (“We’re baby dykes,” Steph said proudly). Everything went fine until they brought Butchy the Lesbian Clown out.
They ended up parked on the roof of a car park, lying on the hood of Steph’s mom’s car.
“I miss rooftop tag,” Cass said.
“We’ll do it again, soon as you get better.”
“Don’t stop loving me.”
“What!?” Steph exclaimed, sitting up.
“Because I’m not Batgirl anymore.”
“Why would that matter?”
“Because without Batgirl, I’m nothing. She’s who I am.”
“Sweetie, c’mere.”
“Batgirl has a home and friends and plays rooftop tag with Spoiler. Cass Cain is a runaway wanted for murder. I don’t wanna be her again.”
“But she’s… God, this is confusing… you’re what I love about you. Not Batgirl. That’s just the package you come in or whatever.”
“You… don’t care if I’m Batgirl?”
“Nope!”
“Oh,” Cass said simply. “Because sometimes I like not being Batgirl. Like right now.”
“I didn’t know my mom’s car had that much lumbar support.”
“Not car.” Cass rolled on top of Steph. “You.”
“Are you gonna kiss me now?” Steph asked, breathless.
With tongue, as it turned out.
“I’m so glad you’re not Batgirl right now,” Steph said. Then, off Cass’s confused look: “No mouthhole.”
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-14 03:57 pm (UTC)This was awesome. I love these two. So perfectly Cass and Steph. :D