The Taking of Pelham 123
Jun. 13th, 2009 12:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seriousficI swear to God, someone wrote a slash fanfic of the original Pelham 123 and said "hey, we can make a movie out of this." You know how you looked at pictures of John Travolta in this movie and said "I didn't know men could be bull dykes"? In context, he makes Adam Lambert look like Rock Hudson, who I know was gay, but he really seemed straight, didn't he? Women loved him!
In Roadhouse, which of course I watch 32 times a day, one of the villain's taunts is "I used to fuck guys like you in prison"? I swear to God, the screenwriters watched that movie just before writing this.
But you know remaking an adaptation of a novel is like Xeroxing a Xerox, right? In the original, there was a scene where a police caravan got into a traffic accident that complicated things. Here, that caravan would’ve had an easier time getting from point A to point B if it were going through Fallujah.
Similarly, whereas Robert Shaw's Mr. Blue was a calm, cool professional (something like what you'd expect if, say, a world-class art restorer turned to crime), the remake tries to differentiate itself by making Travolta's Ryder-with-a-Y a frothing-at-the-mouth man-child who threatens hostages to get the hero to spill about his angsty origin story. And it's not that I mind profanity, but Travolta in this movie cannot swear for shit. His constant f-bombs sound like the high school class clown's impression of a pimp.
Never has so much money been spent to prove that less is more.
So, if you like slash, watch it because you're probably going to be writing this for Yuletide (it makes 3:10 To Yuma look like... damn, this metaphor would be a lot easier if there were one movie fandom didn't slash. The first Terminator?). Otherwise, Netflixing the original is cheaper and performance-wise, Robert Shaw used to fuck guys like John Travolta in prison.
P.S. There'd be something unseemly about scores of family men (does Denzel Washington ever not have a loving wife and kids at home?) teaming up to take down the dangerous gay, but Travolta is so OTT (and not in the good Face/Off sort of way) that you're pretty sure the gay community would thank them.
In Roadhouse, which of course I watch 32 times a day, one of the villain's taunts is "I used to fuck guys like you in prison"? I swear to God, the screenwriters watched that movie just before writing this.
But you know remaking an adaptation of a novel is like Xeroxing a Xerox, right? In the original, there was a scene where a police caravan got into a traffic accident that complicated things. Here, that caravan would’ve had an easier time getting from point A to point B if it were going through Fallujah.
Similarly, whereas Robert Shaw's Mr. Blue was a calm, cool professional (something like what you'd expect if, say, a world-class art restorer turned to crime), the remake tries to differentiate itself by making Travolta's Ryder-with-a-Y a frothing-at-the-mouth man-child who threatens hostages to get the hero to spill about his angsty origin story. And it's not that I mind profanity, but Travolta in this movie cannot swear for shit. His constant f-bombs sound like the high school class clown's impression of a pimp.
Never has so much money been spent to prove that less is more.
So, if you like slash, watch it because you're probably going to be writing this for Yuletide (it makes 3:10 To Yuma look like... damn, this metaphor would be a lot easier if there were one movie fandom didn't slash. The first Terminator?). Otherwise, Netflixing the original is cheaper and performance-wise, Robert Shaw used to fuck guys like John Travolta in prison.
P.S. There'd be something unseemly about scores of family men (does Denzel Washington ever not have a loving wife and kids at home?) teaming up to take down the dangerous gay, but Travolta is so OTT (and not in the good Face/Off sort of way) that you're pretty sure the gay community would thank them.
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no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 06:37 pm (UTC)T-800/Reese.
YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 10:24 pm (UTC)I apologize for being a stranger, but...
Date: 2009-06-13 08:19 pm (UTC)Also, this made me laugh obscenely: it makes 3:10 To Yuma look like... damn, this metaphor would be a lot easier if there were one movie fandom didn't slash.
Re: I apologize for being a stranger, but...
Date: 2009-06-13 10:49 pm (UTC)Re: I apologize for being a stranger, but...
Date: 2009-06-15 01:04 pm (UTC)Re: I apologize for being a stranger, but...
Date: 2009-06-15 01:10 pm (UTC)Re: I apologize for being a stranger, but...
Date: 2009-06-17 10:37 am (UTC)Re: I apologize for being a stranger, but...
Date: 2009-06-24 10:10 pm (UTC)great, so i was not the only one who went home and looked for the slash fanfic. i was so amazed at the slashing. i really want some brave soul to write the fic. if some one writes one be sure to send the link.