I have mixed feelings. Also, issues.

[seriousfic]

I've been recced on crack_van. Twice. The first one was for Before You Let It Go, and if you'd've told me when I started writing it that someone would think "I need to rec something that won't waste thirty-two hundred people's time, this with the Barda and the Scott!" Well, I'd probably believe you. I'm very self-confident.

Because it's a grand romance between Scott and Barda on the Fourth World, and an interpretation that's faithful to the couple's particular relationship dynamic. The characterisation is so strong and the progression of their relationship from captor to slave so believable, that even when the inevitable conflict arrives there is nothing but shock for what happens next.

Bonus: I'm a huge fan of writer's commentary, and seriousfic provides an educational look at the process and motivations in creating the final version of the story. (pt. 1 & 2 and pt. 3 & 4)

So, that's nice, thank you stinglikeabee. But while I'm combing through the backarchives, I happen to see another rec for my work...

Cass' First Christmas by seriousfic (K+)

What this, you ask? Another extremely early Christmas fic? Yes but there's something about the season that brings out family. Even in Gotham City. Especially when Clark decides his BFF needs a little Christmas cheer. Pure, unapologetic fluff right along with Miracle on 34th Street and Charlie Brown's Christmas. Just have a taste:

"Clark stood, spreading his arms in a benevolent gesture. 'Bruce, Christmas is a time to embrace the love of friends and family. No one should spend Christmas alone. True, Christmas is a magical time of year, but unless we keep our hearts open to that magic, it withers and...'

'Fine! If I find Cass some company for Christmas, will you stop talking about the true meaning of Christmas?'

'...may...be?'"

You'll be laughing so hard, you'll pass out.

Cass's First Christmas

So, on the one hand, it's great that I'm getting some recognition. But I've always considered myself, and yes I know how arrogant this is, outside the mainstream. Apart from your garden-variety fen. Unique. Even though I don't ship them, I could take my Bruce characterization and my Clark characterization and wonder how a relationship between them would work, write it down and end up with something that would probably get more comments than... well... Zinda, Helena, and Dinah having a threesome in the back of their getaway van. But I kinda like being a fandom hermit who's out of step with 97% of fandom. It's peaceful as the bottom of the ocean.

And some part of me always associates popularity with how much worse it will hurt when everyone turns on you. I think it's just human nature. If someone pisses you off, you get over it. But if it's someone you like or respect or whose work you enjoy, then there's this... betrayal. And so you can't just leave it at wherever you'd leave it, it just keeps building and building and soon enough you have all your friends involved and all their friends are involved and battlelines get drawn and before you know it, everyone's feelings are hurt and everything is toxic and some smug bastard at Fandom_Wank is laughing his ass off while he reports on how stupid everyone is being.

And, you know, I just wanna post some fic. I don't want the drama. I hate that I have to take drama with my fandom. I hate that the higher you are, the more people want to tear you down and they salivate for the slightest excuse and people you thought you could trust will hold hands with them at your barbecue. And I could go on, but that would take us away from my main point. Which is that my fics are awesome and you should read them.

Yes, I think that's enough psychological depth to justify me bragging about being recced and shamelessly pimping out fic I've already posted. Once more, Before You Let It Go, and Cass's First Christmas.

Comments

[alcimines.livejournal.com]

Somewhere deep down in the list of crack_van's "xmen comicverse" stories is something I wrote. Honestly, if I hadn't happened to notice it one day while I was perusing the site, I wouldn't have known that the story had been recced.

It makes me wonder how often stories gets recced -- and the writer doesn't have a clue that it happened.