In "ladies and vampires" news...

Just popping up to say that back in 2004, there was a failed attempt to remake Dark Shadows for (naturally) the CW, with a cast that was actually pretty badass. In addition to the usual nobodies and hotbodies (the Willie Loomis character played by Jackie "Freddy" Earle "Krueger" Haley in the Tim Burton film would've been played by a hot twentysomething actor from The Gilmore Girls), there was...

A. Marley Shelton as that girl who in the movie was that reincarnation of Johnny Depp's chick but also a ghost somehow, how'd that work?

B. Holy shit, Jessica Chastain as the hot daughter who'd eventually be played by Chloe "Inappropriate Thoughts" Moretz.

C. Kelly Hu as that doctor who Johnny Depp got a blowjob from and then murdered while people made jokes about what a bitch she was in a stunning display of feminism.

D. Blair "Nina Sharpe from Fringe" Brown as Michelle Pheiffer.

E. Jenna "Mrs. Channing Tatum" Dewan just for WTF's sake.

It literally missed the vampire craze by about five minutes. Crazy.