Booster Gold

So, a Booster Gold TV show. No reason why that couldn't work--it's a pretty simple premise, so provided they don't get bogged down in A Gifted Man style moralizing about how Booster needs to "be a real hero" and stick to him being kind of an idiot most of the time, could be fun. I'm assuming it'd be a buddy comedy with Ted Kord, since every other TV show has a bromance these days, so why wouldn't they? I'll never be able to understand the direction DC has taken the character, like they're trying to get him to appeal to people who like Booster Gold, but not him being silly or being part of a comedy duo.

Think about it. It's like someone saying "I like Batman, but I hate stories where he's not wearing a rainbow-colored Batsuit," and then DC starts pandering only to that one guy.

Anyway. TV show. What could possibly go wrong?

The project, which hails from Greg Berlanti's Berlanti Productions in association with Warner Horizon Television, will count Berlanti (Brothers & Sisters, No Ordinary Family, Green Lantern) as an executive producer. Fringe's Andrew Kreisberg, who collaborated with Berlanti on ABC's Eli Stone, is on board to pen the script and executive produce.

Is there literally one project mentioned in that paragraph that hasn't crashed and burned? Okay, Fringe, which is alright for being the version of The X-Files that people don't watch. But was Brothers & Sisters so great that it basically gives you a lifetime pass? What, is that what they called Arrested Development in Europe.

Twilight Saga: Eclipse

So I watched this movie, Rifftraxed, so I'd be caught up for taking my little sister to see Breaking Dawn. She gets in free when she comes with me, I'm not letting her pay for that shit. Same reason I wouldn't buy my girlfriend a conflict diamond.

A few thoughts

1: These titles make no sense! First Twilight, then Full Moon, then Eclipse, then Breaking Dawn... how does that work? First there's a twilight, alright, then there's a full moon, but wait, an eclipse? How could that follow? The sun isn't out! Alright, maybe it's the next day. But no, the next title is Breaking Dawn. How could you have a twilight, a full moon, an eclipse, and a dawn in the same night? There's no way! It just bugs me, like when Land of the Dead abandoned the perfectly badass title of Twilight Of The Dead, which would've fit the Romero series, to suddenly be about land masses. And how terrorists were totally right to attack America. Or something.

(And then Diary of the Dead was about how George Romero is a shitty filmmaker.)

2. This movie has the exact same plot as the last movie. Victoria wants to kill Bella. Bella is torn between Edward and Jacob. It's just that this time, the plots are actually resolved. Victoria dies (boo! She was interesting!) and Bella chooses Edward... again. But for real this time. I guess.

3. After learning that Bella is marrying Edward, Jacob runs off to join in the big newborn vampire fight that all the cool kids are going to. "I need to kill something!" he growls. Because that's a healthy attitude for a teenage boy to have about, well, anything. Then he tells Bella that he might get killed, and she'll totally wish she had smooched him then! This guy has the moves of a sixth-grader.

4. Bella falls for it. Because of course she does.

4. There's a scene with Bella tempting Edward with sex and him turning her down (but how could he resist all that woman? I know, Kristen Stewart has a lesbian following, but Edward isn't a lesbian. His hair would have to be much better to qualify). Yeah, even Bella's celibacy isn't her choice, empowering. Then the film immediately cuts to the evil Victoria manipulating her henchman with sex. And yes, later on Edward does read her mind and tell boy toy that she doesn't care about him. I get the feeling Stephenie Meyer didn't date much in high school, but boy, did she remember the people who did.

5. There's a really minor subplot about one of the "newborn" vampires who's all nicey-nice and cute and doesn't want to hurt anyone. At the end, she surrenders and the Cullens decide to spare her. Then the Volturi roll up and, though they've done nothing to contain the Victoria situation up to that point, decide to kill her anyway. Because they're literally evil just for the sake of being evil. And the Cullens are just cool with it (I guess the werewolves are too, since they don't make any move against these new vampires showing up. And the werewolves' entire mission statement is killing vampires to protect people. How is it we can get three movies out of which boy Bella is not going to have sex with, but this doesn't get any conflict mined out of it?). And yes, the Cullens and the werewolves did just fight a war specifically to protect Bella, who I guess just deserves to live more than vampire rape victim (c'mon, we all know how this works).

6. In fact, I've read recaps of the series and the Volturi never get a comeuppance. They just eventually agree to leave the Cullens alone, but they're still killing scores of innocent people and ruling the world. I gotta think the Cullens are the wussy pacifists in some other person's Hero's Journey. One day, Blade is going to come by, take in the situation, call them a bunch of pussies, and go kill the Volturi himself.

7. There are a number of flashbacks (PADDING!) which seem to have no point but to say that every other member of the Cullen family is more interesting and have more dramatic stories than Edward and Bella.

Rosalie: After I was gang-raped, I dressed up in my wedding dress and brutally murdered my attackers. Then I fell in love with a vampire jock.

Jasper: I was seduced and manipulated by a vampirella to fight in vampire gang wars, leading armies of newborns into battle, until I met Alice.

Alice: I'm Alice!

Edward: I fell in love with a high school student. But then I didn't want to make her a vampire even though that had worked out great for literally my entire family, so I tried to commit suicide. But then I didn't.