Superman XXX: A Porn Parody: A Review
Jul. 13th, 2011 03:15 pmLet's start off with a disclaimer. I'm not going to be getting too detailed with the sex scenes, since I'm not a professional porn reviewer (just a gifted amateur) and I assume the only thing less wanted than me telling you what gets me off is you hearing what gets me off.

GINGER LESBIAN INCEST AGEPLAY!
I'll be looking at this strictly from a perspective of comics canon and cinematic storytelling, with fucking. That said, who names these things? There's gotta be a better title that still gets across that you will see Superman fucking. Just off the top of my head: Supercock, Up Up And Inside You, Not Faster Than A Speeding Bullet... I can't imagine a better reason to get into porn than to come up with stupid porn titles, so I can only think this is the equivalent of that new boss who comes into your workplace with a new rule that makes things suck just a little more, like not being able to take your cell-phone into the bathroom or something. Please, porn industry, we want to hear your punny titles just as much as you want to make them!
Also, some of you may be wondering why DC Comics allows these kinds of movies to be made, even if they are porn parodies. And the answer to that is, they're still better publicity than Green Lantern.
We start off, naturally enough, on Krypton in a vaguely boob-shaped dome, where Jor-El is lecturing on how Kryptonians have always lived in harmony. Someone's forgetting about the Clone Wars, and unfortunately for everyone, it's not George Lucas (that joke was so nerdy I think I just became a virgin again). He's arguing against Zod and the Zodlings, who I just noticed never had a lawyer. Some advanced society--well, then again, no lawyers, so yeah.

General Zod applies the principle of a porn 'stache to an entire beard. The madman.
This ends with the Zod Squad in the Phantom Zone, and on that inspiring note, we hit the credits. After the title, we pass straight over the destruction of Krypton and Clark Kent's upbringing to get to an adult Clark Kent on an airliner. Because even porn parodies know better than to spend time in Smallville. Clark's having trouble with his seatbelt, so a flight attendant helps him and fondles his crotch afterwards. Yeah, right... a flight attendant being helpful!
( N... S... F...? )

GINGER LESBIAN INCEST AGEPLAY!
I'll be looking at this strictly from a perspective of comics canon and cinematic storytelling, with fucking. That said, who names these things? There's gotta be a better title that still gets across that you will see Superman fucking. Just off the top of my head: Supercock, Up Up And Inside You, Not Faster Than A Speeding Bullet... I can't imagine a better reason to get into porn than to come up with stupid porn titles, so I can only think this is the equivalent of that new boss who comes into your workplace with a new rule that makes things suck just a little more, like not being able to take your cell-phone into the bathroom or something. Please, porn industry, we want to hear your punny titles just as much as you want to make them!
Also, some of you may be wondering why DC Comics allows these kinds of movies to be made, even if they are porn parodies. And the answer to that is, they're still better publicity than Green Lantern.
We start off, naturally enough, on Krypton in a vaguely boob-shaped dome, where Jor-El is lecturing on how Kryptonians have always lived in harmony. Someone's forgetting about the Clone Wars, and unfortunately for everyone, it's not George Lucas (that joke was so nerdy I think I just became a virgin again). He's arguing against Zod and the Zodlings, who I just noticed never had a lawyer. Some advanced society--well, then again, no lawyers, so yeah.

General Zod applies the principle of a porn 'stache to an entire beard. The madman.
This ends with the Zod Squad in the Phantom Zone, and on that inspiring note, we hit the credits. After the title, we pass straight over the destruction of Krypton and Clark Kent's upbringing to get to an adult Clark Kent on an airliner. Because even porn parodies know better than to spend time in Smallville. Clark's having trouble with his seatbelt, so a flight attendant helps him and fondles his crotch afterwards. Yeah, right... a flight attendant being helpful!
( N... S... F...? )