What would Ernest Hemingway do? Wait, he scratched the back of his head with buckshot, forget that.

I promised myself I wouldn't write anymore of the Cara trilogy (must think up better name) until I got my novel out of the ninth inning. So why is it that fanfic is so much easier to write? How is anyone supposed to write for young adults when there's a Cara/Kahlan sex scene that needs word count?

ETA: The Doctor Who season finale needs to get in my Bittorrent.

Marvel ten-minute shorts

I really would pay good money to see ten minutes of Supervillain!Hawkeye pulling off a badass heist, then at the end he gets recruited into the Avengers by Black Widow (continuity porn!). Then in The Avengers, he just shows up and says hey. Much better than a five-second shot of a hammer in New Mexico.

But do they have prep time?

An interesting poll on IMDB today: Which group would you put your money on in a no-holds-barred brawl: The vampires from "True Blood" or the vampires from the Twilight saga?

Disclaimer: I've never read the Twilight books. What knowledge I have of them has been picked either from online snarking, being able to watch the movies for free, or Rifftrax of DVDs when happenstance put them within reach. Don't judge me.

Although it's tempting to go with the True Blood vampires, for obvious reasons, we should note that the Twilight vampires are pretty much indestructible, to the point where even when one wanted to commit suicide, the only way to go about it was to piss off some other vampires. They're superfast, superstrong, and each one of them has a unique superpower. Basically, they bear as much resemblance to real vampires as a Marvel universe mutant bears to a guy with six fingers.

Moreover, the terms of the contest are in doubt. Is it just the regulars: Bill, Eric, Pam, and Jessica versus all the Cullens? Is Stan the Texan Vampire in there? Ed Quinn was on Eureka, he must know how to start some shit. What about Vampire Stephen Root, or Godric? What about on the Cullens' side? We know from Breaking Dawn that Alice and Jasper would cut and run if the future looked hairy, because c'mon, who really wants to die for a bunch of vegetarian vampires? But is Bella a vampire at this point in the timeline? Are the Volturi involved? Will Jessica have to adorably square off with Vampire Dakota Fanning? Would the werewolves ally with the True Blood vampires, or would they wait to attack the weakened victor? This grudge match is just maddeningly vague. Are the True Blood vampires even allowed to seduce the Twilight vampires to the Dark Side? Can things be settled with an amiable baseball game?

You know, screw it, I wanna see what the side characters are up to while this is going on. Ultimate vampire battle of ultimate vampire destiny, people be needing a stiff drink. So Bella's surprisingly cool friends (movieverse!) sneak into Merlotte's, where Lafayette playfully hits on Mike and the girl from Up In The Air goes home with Jason Stackhouse. Oh no, she's underage! Jason, looks like you've made another fine mess of things!