Faberrittana fic: A (Tasteful) Story In Which Quinn Has A Spanking Fetish

Title: A (Tasteful) Story In Which Quinn Has A Spanking Fetish
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,160
Characters/Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Quinn/Rachel/Brittany/Santana
Author’s notes: susurrusnight betaed this for me, because she's awesome.
Spoilers: Not really.
Previously: The Skeletons In My Closet (Are Hardcore Porking).
Summary: The most anticipated threequel since Highlander III: The Final Dimension! Will Quinn join in Rachel, Brittany, and Santana's sex-nanigans? No, don't look at the list of pairings! Great, you spoiled it.

( At church, Quinn prayed about it and prayed about it and had a dream where Rachel was dressed up like a nun. Or possibly a nun-themed stripper, dreams were confusing that way. )

Tonight on Smallville, Lois invents 'man-butchery' to replace the obsolete 'manslaughter'

So Smallville begins with Lois accidentally causing an explosion in a crowded lab. That’s the problem with having a secret laboratory. OSHA can’t check to see if it’s safety-compliant. Needless to say, the next morning she’s jumping down Clark’s pants, probably to drive away the faces of those she’s wronged, flashing before her eyes. Watch the opening credits and ask how many of the actors are playing sociopaths.

And since the finale is close, things actually start happening. Zod reveals he has superpowers, to Clark’s… homoerotic approval? Yes, well, Clark has gotten red-Ked, AGAIN, so now he’s acting out his hidden desires like… smacking Chloe around and telling her she’s a shitty friend. Whoa, you mean every time Chloe disappoints Clark, he’s holding off from smacking her one? Jesus.

Haven’t we already had an episode this season where Clark gets mind-whammied and goes off the reservation? I only ask because by the third act of the season arc, I’d like to think the drama should derive from the characters and their development, not from artificial whammying. Romeo & Juliet didn’t end in tragedy because someone slipped cocaine into Romeo’s coffee, after all.

So anyway, Zod makes a big speech about how he can’t trust Chloe because she’s amassing Kryponite (as would come in handy in the future, when Kryptonians have taken over the world), while he can trust Zod because no one else knows what it’s like to have powers and he’s the only one who shares Clark’s Kryptonian heritage. And the only way the writers can make this shit work is to have Clark high on super-drugs. Weeee!

Oh, hey, Chloe and Tess have a scene. The thing I love about Tess is, every time she talks with another woman, she endows every line with the subtext of “how would you like to be handcuffed while I do things to your body?” I imagine her asking Tabreth Bethell to pass the sugar and Tab complying would earn an automatic NC-17.


"Lots of things taste better with sugar, don't they?"

Zod and Clark go to the Fortress to make out and Zod starts a monologue with “On Krypton, we worship the sun god Ra” and then goes on to talk about how awesome Kryptonians don’t have superstitions and science is religion. Dude, you pray to a giant fuckin’ ball of gas. Come off it.

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