Today in Greek mythology...

Pasiphae wed King Minos of Krete, and bore him a number of sons and daughters. However, as punishment for some offence against the gods committed either by herself or her husband, she was cursed with the desire to be coupled with the king's finest bull. The Queen conscripted the great artisan Daidalos to assist her in the endeavour, and he built for her a hollow wooden cow, wrapped in a bovine skin and endowed with mechanical life. Hiding herself inside this contraption she conceived and bore a hybrid child, the bull-headed Minotauros.

That's not the craziest part.

Pasiphae's husband Minos also proved unfaithful. When the Queen learned of his indiscretions she cast a spell on him which caused him to ejaculate poisoned creatures and so destroy his lovers.

She's pretty judgmental for someone who's been in a donkey show. Oh, wait, the gods did it. Olympians: The original sex pollen.

Pasiphae herself, being an immortal, was alone immune.

So, wait, so... wait... so... no, wait... is it just me, or does she still have (nonpoisonous) creatures in her vagina?

At some point, you have to stop excusing it and just admit you're a goddamn furry.

Minos was eventually cured by the Athenian girl Prokris who devised a remedy for his strange afflication.

Ironically enough, Prokris sounds like a pill you would take to cure an erectile dysfunction. If Prokis were a pill for venomous ejaculate, I think every man would buy that, afflicted or not, just to ward off the possibility. After all, it's bad enough to have it burn when you pee. You don't need it to sting and bite too.

Doctor Who fic: Time Changes Nothing

Title: Time Changes Nothing
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,411
Characters/Pairings: Donna, the Doctor, hints of Doctor/Donna
Summary: End of Time AU. Remembering means Donna will die, as surely as the Doctor. But she remembers…

( She woke up to the Doctor’s face, smoother than she’d ever seen it, like he’d gone backwards while she’d gone forward. )

I am required by law to talk about comic book movies

It's a geek thing. I'm sure you understand.

Blake Lively cast as Carol Fenris in Green Lantern movie

I hate it when It Girls are cast in comic book movies. It's nothing personal, it's just that for some reason, casting directors seem to put care and attention into suiting male actors to their parts, then with the women, they pretty much grab the first Maxim cover girl with an IMDB page. Could someone please explain to me what Storm and Halle Berry have in common, besides being black? Jennifer Garner is about as Greek as a fraternity. And Jessica Alba as Sue Storm? No, not even if she could act.

On the other hand, Martin Campbell can do no wrong in my book. He cast Judi Dench as M! Although as soon as he leaves franchises, they start to suck. I imagine he's like Mr. Incredible. "I just rebooted this series from the ground up, could you please keep it quality for just one movie?" And Bleighton + nerddom? Awesome. I now crave fic where Leighton Meester is a Marvel Zombie and Blake being in a DC movie is a challenge to their relationship. "Lively, it's Brand Echh!"

Spider-Man to be rebooted, aka OMGWTFSOS

Okay, yeah, I could see a reboot working. The Raimi movies did give short shrift to Peter's high school years and, let's admit it, Tobey Maguire never really inhabited Peter. It's like, Tobey Maguire played Peter Parker, whereas Robert Downey Jr. WAS Tony Stark. And Mary-Jane Watson as the good-natured girl next door? Room for improvement. Personally, I've always thought Jesse Eisenberg might make for a good Peter Parker...

On the other hand, as far as reasons for a reboot go, there's "Batman & Robin" and then there's "our massively successful director wanted an uncluttered story with only one villain, as the fanbase asked for, and time to get a solid script before he spent two hundred million dollars. Fuck that, we're doing this in 2012 even though we don't have a director, a cast, or a good script." And when the guy who directed Spider-Man 3 says your script is unfilmable... well, goddamn, sir.

So, yeah, it could be good, but then again, if I threw a grenade out the window, I might blow up someone who runs a dog-fighting ring. Doesn't make the grenade a good idea. The only real upside here (let's face it, we are witnessing the final transformation of a pretty good series from "passion project" to "product") is that it's segregated from the Raimi movies, so it won't drag them down like the new X-Men movies seem determined to do with Bryan Singer's work. I'm enough of a fan to like that Peter and MJ got their happy ending and all the loose ends were tied up, even if it wasn't done as neatly as it could've been.