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Let's put it to a vote!
Jan. 28th, 2009 10:38 pm[Poll #1339540]
I've been thinking about Gay Vampire Wedding and have come up with a tagline: The groom is a vampire. So is the groom.
Also, the lead, who we shall call Tim Roth for matters of convenience, grew up in an Inhuman neighborhood -- this was in the days before "coming out of the coffin," when Inhumans took up in ghost towns, dried-up factory towns, dying cities, and then kept to their own little ghettos... "Little Transylvania" -- but moved away when his parents were divorced. When he grew up, he became a wedding planner and was running a prosperous business when he was divorced by his high school sweetheart. Now he's moved back to Little Transylvania to start the world's first Inhuman wedding planner service. Given that Inhumans coming out makes the time period the modern-day equivalent of the turbulent seventies... think Stonewall plus Brown v. Board of Education plus the L.A. riots... getting called a race traitor is a comparatively nice thing for him.
As you might imagine, his parents' divorce and his own have instilled in him a slightly overzealous drive to play Cupid. Not a "MY PARENTS ARE DIVVVVVVVORCED!" sort of thing, he just really likes it when couples have a happily ever after and takes it personally when the universe picks on newlyweds. Although his weddings rarely go off without a hitch, he always raises to the occasion with both his ridiculous anime-level expertise at wedding planning and his childhood insight into Inhuman cultures.
His second is Bette, a vampire who was his best friend growing up and is thus destined to fall in love with him, though this being a light and frothy series, the main thing standing in their way is that they're too blind to see they're perfect for each other. She's a vampiress struggling to be taken seriously in a world where the multimedia has for decades perpetuated a stereotype of vampiresses being oversexed, omnisexual predators that has resulted in far too many frat boys with "fang fever" for anyone to live with.
She and her fellow vampire feminists consider "Vampirella" and "bride" (as in "bride of Dracula") to be hate words and, due to a truly epic number of people assuming she will make-out with other women for their entertainment (Bette is straight as a nail), she has been known to get drunk and go into an outdoor-voice rant about her love of the male sexual organ. Otherwise, tends to favor business suits with trousers and neckties (which, ironically, does nothing to hurt the assumption of lesbianism), hair buns, and glasses.
Sample quote to Tim Roth (he just seems like a cool guy, IDK): Of course, I could drop my voice down to Angie-Harmon-on-quaaludes, let my pheromone flag fly, and dress in something with a price inversely proportionate to how much fabric it contained. But that'd take advantage of thousands of years of evolution for me as a vampire and thousands of years of stubborn caveman sexuality for you as a man. The sex would be fantastic, though.
Of course, there'd be some scraps and Tim's father (who died, prompting Tim to move back into the family house) was really murdered by some beastie and Tim may not be entirely human (why was his family living in Little Transylvania anyway?) and someONE is probably CHOSEN for something or other, but on the whole, Tim and Bette (and co) are more likely to be the people HIRING paranormal investigators (hello parody) than fighting the forces of evil themselves. Unless the forces of evil are messing up their seating arrangement. Then, God help them.
I should probably get some more info on wedding planning before rounding out the cast. Anyone know a good magazine article? This could make a nice short story...
I've been thinking about Gay Vampire Wedding and have come up with a tagline: The groom is a vampire. So is the groom.
Also, the lead, who we shall call Tim Roth for matters of convenience, grew up in an Inhuman neighborhood -- this was in the days before "coming out of the coffin," when Inhumans took up in ghost towns, dried-up factory towns, dying cities, and then kept to their own little ghettos... "Little Transylvania" -- but moved away when his parents were divorced. When he grew up, he became a wedding planner and was running a prosperous business when he was divorced by his high school sweetheart. Now he's moved back to Little Transylvania to start the world's first Inhuman wedding planner service. Given that Inhumans coming out makes the time period the modern-day equivalent of the turbulent seventies... think Stonewall plus Brown v. Board of Education plus the L.A. riots... getting called a race traitor is a comparatively nice thing for him.
As you might imagine, his parents' divorce and his own have instilled in him a slightly overzealous drive to play Cupid. Not a "MY PARENTS ARE DIVVVVVVVORCED!" sort of thing, he just really likes it when couples have a happily ever after and takes it personally when the universe picks on newlyweds. Although his weddings rarely go off without a hitch, he always raises to the occasion with both his ridiculous anime-level expertise at wedding planning and his childhood insight into Inhuman cultures.
His second is Bette, a vampire who was his best friend growing up and is thus destined to fall in love with him, though this being a light and frothy series, the main thing standing in their way is that they're too blind to see they're perfect for each other. She's a vampiress struggling to be taken seriously in a world where the multimedia has for decades perpetuated a stereotype of vampiresses being oversexed, omnisexual predators that has resulted in far too many frat boys with "fang fever" for anyone to live with.
She and her fellow vampire feminists consider "Vampirella" and "bride" (as in "bride of Dracula") to be hate words and, due to a truly epic number of people assuming she will make-out with other women for their entertainment (Bette is straight as a nail), she has been known to get drunk and go into an outdoor-voice rant about her love of the male sexual organ. Otherwise, tends to favor business suits with trousers and neckties (which, ironically, does nothing to hurt the assumption of lesbianism), hair buns, and glasses.
Sample quote to Tim Roth (he just seems like a cool guy, IDK): Of course, I could drop my voice down to Angie-Harmon-on-quaaludes, let my pheromone flag fly, and dress in something with a price inversely proportionate to how much fabric it contained. But that'd take advantage of thousands of years of evolution for me as a vampire and thousands of years of stubborn caveman sexuality for you as a man. The sex would be fantastic, though.
Of course, there'd be some scraps and Tim's father (who died, prompting Tim to move back into the family house) was really murdered by some beastie and Tim may not be entirely human (why was his family living in Little Transylvania anyway?) and someONE is probably CHOSEN for something or other, but on the whole, Tim and Bette (and co) are more likely to be the people HIRING paranormal investigators (hello parody) than fighting the forces of evil themselves. Unless the forces of evil are messing up their seating arrangement. Then, God help them.
I should probably get some more info on wedding planning before rounding out the cast. Anyone know a good magazine article? This could make a nice short story...
