Star Trekkin' across the universe

[seriousfic]

So the trailer to Star Trek 11 (sorry, Star Trek) came out and it actually looks pretty good, up until the second half where the Enterprise apparently jumps into the space battle at the beginning of Revenge of the Sith and/or a pitched dog-fight against the Cylons. So what worries me? Well, for starters.

1. It's a reboot about a young Captain Kirk.

2. It's set at Starfleet Academy, which everyone and their mother has suggested for a Star Trek story.

3. Kirk and Spock meet and don't like each other, but become friends (presumably after their fistfight).

Put those together and you've got a trifecta of anti-creativity, sorta like a mirror universe Jack Kirby. Normally the presence of J.J. Abrams would assuage those fears, but he abuses ass-pulles like Claremont abuses run-on sentences (bub). You wouldn't think this would be a problem in a two-hour, standalone movie, but...

Cloverfield hype machine: Hey, what's the monster? Hey, what's the monster? Hey, what's the monster?

Me: I give up, what is the monster?

Cloverfield hype machine: Why do you care? It's just a monster. Why the hell are you talking to me!?

And remember his Superman script? I'm not too excited about his contributions to the Star Trek mythos when his contributions to the Superman mythos were a) Krypton doesn't blow up, b) Superman knows kung-fu, and c) Lex Luthor is a CGI agent. Who is a Kryptonian. Who knows kung-fu.

Remember? The script so bad that the response to it actually shut down production on the movie?

Please be good, Star Trek. Pretty please?

Comments

[black13.livejournal.com]

This is Abrams. It will suck. The script was written by the same people who wrote the script for Transformers.

("What, Transformers had a script?" "Precisely.")

The reason why Star Trek 11 will exceed my expectations is because they are so low that the movie can't sink lower.

Perpetually pissed-off Kirk? Kirk was smart, not angry.

Emotional Spock?

Nekkid UWhorea?

This will be a lot of flash and bang and glitter and shakycam. And that's all.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

All I wanted from Transformers was giant robots that turn into other things and blow stuff up. If you expected more than that from a Mike Bay movie, you need to lower your sights.

[black13.livejournal.com]

I couldn't care less about Transformers. I didn't see the movie. Partly because everything I'd heard about it turned me away.

I do expect more of Star Trek, however. But it sounds (and, from the trailer, looks) as if it won't deliver what I want.

Par for the course where Abrams is involved.

[disturbed-muse.livejournal.com]

I vote that, from now on, only fans may write scripts to cult fandom-to-movie adaptions. Or comic-to-movie adaptions. Or even book-to-movie adaptions.

(Yes, this includes the Xena movie that will never be made. *grumblegrumble*)

DUDE, why didn't they let Ron Moore write the script? WTFRAK.

[hilandercs.livejournal.com]

And lets not forget that JJ Abrams is also master of the Cinematic Cock tease. (Alias, Cloverfield, Lost...I'm sure)

Trek will probably just end abruptly at some point in the storyline, and then we'll have one parting shot of a Starfleet Officer's boot stepping in some alien poop, like that's some kind of Rosetta stone for the past 2 hours of total nonsense.

[mcity.livejournal.com]

Technically, the ARG did explain what the monster was. It was an ancient creature who wanted its mommy.

No, I'm serious.