This is probably just me, but how come in fanfic, every time two people are about to smex…

[seriousfic]

Okay, digression before I’m even started. How come in fanfic people are always scarred? I don’t know who it reflects badly on, but with a fandom like Supernatural or whatever you’ll usually come across a mention of Dean or Sam having scars from their years of demon-hunting. Then the show does a shirtless scene and no scars. I think it’s just fandom’s “ahh, he’s an anguished warrior against darkness, he should have COOL, SMEXY BATTLE SCARS!”

But whenever they smex and find a bruise or a scar, there must be licking. Who in real life licks a scar? In real life, people have disgusting scars, but somehow fanfic characters only manage to get scarred with scars that make them even prettier. And bruises hurt when you touch them. People should be going “Hey, that’s ouchy, don’t lick there, that is not an erogenous zone.” You could probably get a good John/Rodney fic out of that.

“Hey, hey, oww! I know that’s all colorful and shiny and thus appealing to you, but a bruise is damaged capillaries allowing blood to seep into tissue! It is not the flashing spot on a video game boss that says ‘shoot here for massive damage!’ Or orgasm, as the case may be.”

So, I would like there to be a sex scene where injures (if they don’t preclude sex in the first place) are things to work around rather than aphrodisiacs.

I’d also like a pony.

Comments

[box-in-the-box.livejournal.com]

It's just really weird to read fanfics that have me, as a male feminist, thinking to myself, "Holy shit, this is some scary misogynistic bullshit," only to click on the author's user profile and see that he is a she (or at least, that "he" claims to be a "she").

Feminist pop culture critic Cintra Wilson once claimed, "The worst enemy of women is always other women," and I keep holding out hope that that's not true.