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seriousficTitle: If You Loved Me (Which You Don’t)
Fandom: Smallville
Rating: PG
Word Count: 465
Timeline: Takes place after 8x06 Committed
Characters/Pairings: Clark/Lois
Summary: Lois is very adamant that lie detectors don’t work.
The first week, it was just awkward silences giving way to conspicuous mentions of dates Lois was going on. Clark tolerated that; even squelched the overprotective instinct he got. The second week, Lois sent an “interesting” article on how lie detectors weren’t admissible in court to Chloe and CCed it to him. The third week, her idle conversations tended to revolve around the many ways one could beat a lie detector. By the fourth week, Clark had had enough.
They were in the elevator, riding in comfortable silence, when Lois had to open her mouth.
“Yes, I know!” Clark interrupted. “Lie detectors aren’t reliable. They aren’t admissible in court. It’s ridiculously easy to fool one. And you pulled the sensor off, so even if lie detectors did work, this one wouldn’t have. You don’t love me. I get it.”
Lois stood there, mouth still open, before smiling ferociously. “Wow, Smallville, I was just going to ask if that was a new haircut.”
Abashed despite himself, Clark said “It is.”
“Looks nice.”
“Thanks.”
The elevator gears kept turning.
“But you and me? The idea is just ridiculous. Not that you’re a bad guy or anything, but my guy? It is to laugh. Hahaha! See? Laughing.”
“Exactly. Besides, if you did love me, you’d have to be a real chicken not to just ask me out.”
Lois glared at him.
Clark smiled innocently.
“Maybe, if I loved you, I would be a wee bit gun-shy because out of my last two boyfriends, one was shot in the street and the other was… not a good prospect.”
“Which I would totally understand, if you loved me, so you wouldn’t have to keep making excuses…”
“Maybe, if I did have those feelings, you should give me a sign that you return them… which you don’t, because I don’t.”
Clark cleared his throat, scratched his nose, and put an arm around Lois’s shoulders to draw her in tight. “Like that?”
“Exactly like that.”
The doors slid open with a chime. Clark didn’t use his great speed to move to the other end of the car, but it was a near thing.
“So, I’m glad we didn’t get that cleared up,” Lois said.
“Yeah, and thanks for the tip about lie detectors.”
“Any time.” Lois pumped the air with false cheer. “Well, let’s get to work spending time together. I mean, let’s get to spending time together. I mean…”
“I know what you mean. Let’s get together. At work! In work. Let’s work together.”
Lois shook her head. “You’re such a spaz, Kent.”
“Ice queen.”
”Farm boy.”
“Barracuda.”
“Chump.”
“Wino!”
“Tool!”
“Brat!”
“Geek!”
“Shrew!”
***
Jimmy sighed wearily as Clark and Lois got out of the elevator, arguing up a storm as usual.
“Those two are never going to get along.”
Fandom: Smallville
Rating: PG
Word Count: 465
Timeline: Takes place after 8x06 Committed
Characters/Pairings: Clark/Lois
Summary: Lois is very adamant that lie detectors don’t work.
The first week, it was just awkward silences giving way to conspicuous mentions of dates Lois was going on. Clark tolerated that; even squelched the overprotective instinct he got. The second week, Lois sent an “interesting” article on how lie detectors weren’t admissible in court to Chloe and CCed it to him. The third week, her idle conversations tended to revolve around the many ways one could beat a lie detector. By the fourth week, Clark had had enough.
They were in the elevator, riding in comfortable silence, when Lois had to open her mouth.
“Yes, I know!” Clark interrupted. “Lie detectors aren’t reliable. They aren’t admissible in court. It’s ridiculously easy to fool one. And you pulled the sensor off, so even if lie detectors did work, this one wouldn’t have. You don’t love me. I get it.”
Lois stood there, mouth still open, before smiling ferociously. “Wow, Smallville, I was just going to ask if that was a new haircut.”
Abashed despite himself, Clark said “It is.”
“Looks nice.”
“Thanks.”
The elevator gears kept turning.
“But you and me? The idea is just ridiculous. Not that you’re a bad guy or anything, but my guy? It is to laugh. Hahaha! See? Laughing.”
“Exactly. Besides, if you did love me, you’d have to be a real chicken not to just ask me out.”
Lois glared at him.
Clark smiled innocently.
“Maybe, if I loved you, I would be a wee bit gun-shy because out of my last two boyfriends, one was shot in the street and the other was… not a good prospect.”
“Which I would totally understand, if you loved me, so you wouldn’t have to keep making excuses…”
“Maybe, if I did have those feelings, you should give me a sign that you return them… which you don’t, because I don’t.”
Clark cleared his throat, scratched his nose, and put an arm around Lois’s shoulders to draw her in tight. “Like that?”
“Exactly like that.”
The doors slid open with a chime. Clark didn’t use his great speed to move to the other end of the car, but it was a near thing.
“So, I’m glad we didn’t get that cleared up,” Lois said.
“Yeah, and thanks for the tip about lie detectors.”
“Any time.” Lois pumped the air with false cheer. “Well, let’s get to work spending time together. I mean, let’s get to spending time together. I mean…”
“I know what you mean. Let’s get together. At work! In work. Let’s work together.”
Lois shook her head. “You’re such a spaz, Kent.”
“Ice queen.”
”Farm boy.”
“Barracuda.”
“Chump.”
“Wino!”
“Tool!”
“Brat!”
“Geek!”
“Shrew!”
***
Jimmy sighed wearily as Clark and Lois got out of the elevator, arguing up a storm as usual.
“Those two are never going to get along.”
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 02:44 pm (UTC)You are so good with the adajflks banter of denials.